Empathy is not my middle name.

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So the other night a friend rang me to tell me some bad news, that her son who I went to school with got beat up and was in a bad way. She called me because she was going to fly to the other side of the country to see him but couldn't get her flight ticket printed out properly. So I started doing my usual thing where I sort of yell at people for not remembering the basic computing skills I've taught them. After a few minutes I realized this woman was hurting real bad and here I was getting frustrated over her lack of computing skills. She knows I'm like this, but that doesn't make it right. Why do I always want to redirect so much of my hate of life, or rather misunderstanding of it, on other people?

You may have been overwhelmed by the situation and kinda nutted up over the computer thing....because your logic probably was... had she had basic computer skills to deal with this she would not be putting you in emotional overload.

I do the same thing at times. I dont mean to but I just get so overwhelmed by another persons distraught emotional state that I just scream...SHUT UP!!
I dont mean to be unempathic....actually I am very empathic. We are said to lack cognitive empathy but make up for it in emotional empathy.
In other words, I cant mentally understand where a suffering person is coming from, but I can feel intensely the emotions that person is projecting. Often times it can be a total assault on our nerves and senses which leads us to act in self defense, therefore appearing totally selfish.

we are total paradoxes in motion.

Jojo

Yeah but what pisses me off about situations like this is the other person is often someone who has helped me out emotionally. I always feel I'm not "Paying it Backward" enough. And a correction on the original post: I'm not redirecting my pain on others - I'm redirecting their pain back on themselves. I guess it's my way of deflecting the sadness without having to feel it.

I agree.

The fact that you realised that she was hurting says to me that you are empathic. You were just overwhelmed and frustrated, I'm the same way. Other people's troubles are often too much for me to handle.