Is it possible for an Aspie to be overy empathetic?

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I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome when I was a little kid and for awhile I never really understood what it was. As I got older I learned more about the condition and I see the symptons that I share with the condition, but one thing unusual about mine, and other people have pointed this out to me, is that unlike most aspies who lack empathy I seem to be overly empathetic.

I've never been very good at expressing my true emotions, but I seem to understand emotions in people very well that I can always sense when somebody is happy or upset. Plus when I experience emotions myself they seem to form an extreme level that makes me a bit of a drama queen (I think I can admit that now). I seem to crave the emotional reactions of other people, especially the pleasant ones, because it makes me feel secure for some reason. I'm also empathetic in the sense that I can feel sorry for people when they are hurt but at the same time I feel powerless to do anything about it because I'm not a very comforting person even though I try to be. I'm just too awkard to really form a real emotional bond with most people, but I seem to understand emotions very well.

Is this unsual for an Aspie or is this something other Aspies experience too? I guess maybe like all mental conditions each Asperger case can be different too. But I think I'm more overly emotional than I am unemotional.

I believe I am that way. I don't like movies where people (especially women) are trapped or tortured, I want to save them! I often buy food for people on the street as well.

I'm the same way with certain movies. I can't stand watching movies about real wars because I can't help but feel sad for the people who die in a war, both the soldiers and the civilians. Whenever my family watches war movies I always have to excuse myself from the living room because it has a really bad effect on me.

Last edited by GreySun369 on 06 Nov 2011, 9:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes it is possible. With aspies things are either extreme or too little. So they can have too much empathy or too little empathy. There is like no in between.

I also feel the same way. I can actually feel and feed off the emotions of everybody else who seems to be in the same room as I am. I also have a hard time watching movies, because I can actually feel for the characters, even though I know that I'm watching a movie. Once I hear that someone I know is having a hard time, such as losing a pet or a family member, I feel for them right away though that person isn't actually there.

Most of the time when I read about Aspergers I hear about the lack-of-empathy side of it, so I didn't really know it could also be a symptome to be overly empathetic like I am.

When they say the aspies have a lack of empathy they do not mean the same thing when they say psychopaths lack empathy. The autistic lack of empathy is the lack of Theory of the Mind and inability to pick up social cues, which sociopaths do not lack, and I've heard that aspies actually tend to have MORE OF the empathy that sociopaths lack than the average person, so in many ways psychopathy and autism are actually opposites. There is a big difference between being oblivious and not caring. Unfortunately having a conscience is not helpful in the world of business, and being manipulative is more useful than being intelligent, so Aspies tend to suffer while sociopaths thrive. I've heard that as many as 27% of CEOs are sociopaths.

So yes, aspies can be overly empathetic. I frequently cry when watching movies or listening to music, and when I notice other people in pain I feel pain, seeing being upset makes me upset, and seeing people happy makes me happy, though positive emotions don't affect me as much as negative emotions.

Me too.

i, too, am overly empathetic especially with an underdog.

I guess that makes a lot of sense, I must be getting my information wrong because people seem to confuse the empathy between autistics and psychopaths. Even my Mom seemed to do that when she was explaining it to me, she tried to say I'm only empathetic because she "taught it" to me and that all Aspies simply don't feel emotion.

I feel like a blind man in a world led by blind people sometimes. -_-

It seems like I see a thread like this every week or so on here. What you are describing is not uncommon. Check this out: http://www.thestar.com/article/633688

Maybe...

There's a problem with the way people use the English language as empathy seems to have all kinds of different meanings. First there's feeding off other people's emotions. This is more like a sympathetic reaction. Picking up subtle emotional undertones through body language and tone of voice is another thing. Then there's the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes and try to understand what they are feeling in thier own situation.

As far as picking up emotions from body language and tone of voice I seem to do it unconsciously. I notice it by "feeling" it which would be what NT's do. So I can't be particularly impaired in that area.

Of course I've also been told that I acted like I thought the world revolved around me, but this was when I was a kid. I've definitely matured and see things much more objectively as an adult. I can kind of put myself in other people's shoes sometimes if I think deeply upon their situation and try to imagine what possible impulses there might be to think or feel a certain way. So I'm definitely capable of "theory of mind" and/or empathic analysis. I don't think I'm spontaneously this way though. In the moment I'm usually much more focused on my own thoughts. I think this is why I don't socialize well. I have to take a step back to really understand people. I don't do it in the pressure of the moment because my own thoughts and emotions are usually overwhelming me.

So my answer is yes... no... I don't know... I guess it depends on what you mean when you use the word "empathetic".

I'd consider myself to be a fairly empathetic person, but then, according to Baron-Cohen's empathy quotient, I must literally be one of the least empathetic people in the world. I think Baron-Cohen is responsible for the popularity of the idea that autistic people are not empathetic, and to me his usage of the word "empathy" is quite inaccurate and responsible for incorrect negative perceptions about autistic people. (I also find his usage of the "male/female brain" concept very problematic. I don't have a problem with most of his research, but the way he describes it can have a lot of potentially negative unintended effects.) What he seems to be describing as "empathy" is mainly the ability to discern other people's feelings without being told what they are. That's certainly something I have serious trouble with, but I wish people would describe it in a way that didn't make me sound like a psychopath.

I don't have a diagnosis of AS, although I suspect I probably do have it and my daughter, who is very like me, is being assessed at the moment and probably has it. So, my input might twist the results of this thread slightly.

I usually know what people's emotions are, but it's because I pick up on the tiny cues that most people don't notice, e.g. slightly raised voice. I don't know the details of their thoughts, just their emotional state. (I've written on another thread about knowing for 21 years that my mother-in-law didn't like me, even though others didn't see it. But, I didn't know her reasons and she spilled it out last year.) I perform much better than average females in the test for seeing emotions in the eyes. Also, I know when women are pregnant, long before they announce it, but it's those little things I see yet again. And I feel actual pain in my lower abdomen, when I see others with injuries and I cry when I see others crying. Is that empathy? But, I don't display my own emotions accurately and don't respond in an expected way, so others may not realise what my awareness of the situation is.

At the moment, my best friend is unexpectedly in hospital and I've been helping out a lot with her kids. She's so grateful and has said I'm just like a sister, but I can't imagine doing it any other way. I'm not doing it for glory or just because she'd do the same for me. I can kind of put myself in her shoes (I am a mum afterall), but I don't have to empathise to know what the right thing to do is.

This puzzled me for a long time. I thought I was very emphatic because, especially when I was teenager, I was often very distressed over some situations like hungry people in Africa, misfortunes and so on. I got very upset if I saw sad movies and things like that. On the other hand, I couldn't respond well to immediate, everyday situations and I still can't.
In kindergarten, one friend fell and got hurt and was crying. I thought that she was laughing so I laughed. On the other occasion, i swung a friend too much and she started screaming because she was frightened, I thought she was screaming because it was amusing. Then she fell and kicked her tooth out. Then, there was a situation when I kept throwing cherries at a certain person. It was fun to me, so I thought it was fun to him as well. And I kept on and on until I got a slap which shocked me. The list goes on.

But, sad movies, sad situations and so on, when I understand the context, when it is very obvious, I get sad.

I think it's a common misunderstanding that aspies are unable to feel empathy.

To be honest I think so many definitions/diagnositic criteria of neurological difference or disorders are made by people who merely look at external appearances.

e.g.
Someone with Asperger's appears unable to express emotion, or show love, therefore they are unable to feel emotion.
Someone with BPD manipulates others and is therefore deliberately and knowingly trying to hurt people.
Someone with Schizoid Personality Disorder has no close friendships and therefore does not desire intimacy with other humans.

That's the logic at work. It doesn't take into account the internal experience of people with these disorders or differences. It doesn't take into account desires, or coping mechanisms, or pain, or past failures. I find it quite annoying to hear the misconceptions out there about people who are often highly sensitive, but for various reasons are unable to demonstrate that.


Anyway, yes, I believe I experience empathy for others. I am very sensitive to other people's pain or sorrow, and also their joy. Sometimes it can get very overwhelming and I shut down, or can't make sense of my own emotional response, and have to isolate myself.