NT's thinking your're Gay when your're not

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athacliath72
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17 Dec 2011, 3:06 pm

I'm a recently diagnosed Aspie, anyone had any problem with the above, eventhough I'm a middle of the road, blokeish heterosexual I've always overheard comments from strangers in public places.

Do you think that there's an 'Aspie look' or 'Aspie vibe' that we have that NT's pick up upon and misconstrue?

Wish to add if any LGBT aspies are reading, no offence and there's nothing wrong with being Gay, it's the misinterpretation issue were discussing here.



Cash__
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17 Dec 2011, 3:18 pm

This happens to me all the time. I take it as a compliment when men try to pick me up. It means they find me handsome. Nothing wrong with being handsome.



DreamLord
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17 Dec 2011, 3:30 pm

Never grow a moustache, I did once. Thats the best advice I can give, outward displays of normalilty may help. An abundance of pretty girls in the area is useful.

It boosts my ego sometimes but it can lead to awkward situations, people thinking they have been snubbed and such. It's hard to remedy if you struggle to talk to people in the first place.



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17 Dec 2011, 4:09 pm

DreamLord wrote:
An abundance of pretty girls in the area is useful.

Well, I work at a creative company and we have a great number of pretty girls around us, yet stylists tend to be gay men, a great opportunity to blend in... :D

Anyway, I was openly asked at least once if I'm gay. I see how some people around me may assume or think that I'm gay even though they don't say it. My mother asked me once, too, if I was one. 8O

(no offense meant to LGBTs)



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17 Dec 2011, 5:37 pm

Constantly. It's frustrating.

I talk with my hands. I get excited over little things.

One time I was trying to apply for a volunteer position and the guy interviewing me
emailed me and asked me for a second interview, it turned out he thought it was a date.



Joe90
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17 Dec 2011, 5:39 pm

No offense, but one of my biggest fears of being mistaken for a lesbian. I'm not against lesbians, but I don't want to be misinterpreted as one because I know I am NOT anywhere near lesbian at all. I don't wear skirts, but I still dress femininely, and I have a trendy handbag over my shoulder, and I also stand and sit like a female (I cross my legs when I sit on a chair. I know men do that too but it is more common in females). I don't wear make-up but that doesn't make any difference.

No, I don't think anyone's suspected me as being lesbian just by looking at me. Women only glare at me because I look like the mother of Shannon Matthews, but I've changed my hairstyle a bit now and it now looks better.

I've only been called lesbian before by my brother and some of my friends at school because I had obsessions over certain people, and some women were involved in my obsessions - even though I knew full well that it was not a crush. I've had crushes on boys and men before, and I still do, but never women. I only admire women who I'm jealous of, and maybe I express that in a strange sort of way what makes it look like I'm lesbian, but I am NOT. I dream of penises, I love flirting around with men, I fancy lots of men, I sexually admire men's bodies, and I want a boyfriend.

It is normal for women to admire eachother or be jealous of eachother. Every woman I'm with often stares at other women and comments on what they're wearing, and even their body size and their boobs. And I think one of the most boring discussions in the world are women talking about eachother's boobs.


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17 Dec 2011, 6:44 pm

Gay? Try a paedophile.



bruinsy33
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17 Dec 2011, 6:46 pm

athacliath72 wrote:
I'm a recently diagnosed Aspie, anyone had any problem with the above, eventhough I'm a middle of the road, blokeish heterosexual I've always overheard comments from strangers in public places.

Do you think that there's an 'Aspie look' or 'Aspie vibe' that we have that NT's pick up upon and misconstrue?

Wish to add if any LGBT aspies are reading, no offence and there's nothing wrong with being Gay, it's the misinterpretation issue were discussing here.
No,I don't think there is an Aspie look that leads someone to think one is gay.Lack of a romantic companion [despite being attractive in many cases] is probably a big reason why someone might think that.Not really sure why it should be bothersome since you are the one who knows the truth .



Last edited by bruinsy33 on 18 Dec 2011, 5:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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17 Dec 2011, 7:05 pm

I got asked if I was gay by, like, all my male classmates in high school. To person after person, I had to tell them I'm not gay. One night in tenth grade my dad asked me if I was gay. Pissed me off so much I told him, "for the f**king umpteenth time, I AM NOT GAY".



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17 Dec 2011, 7:19 pm

My friends are idiots, they don't understand asexuality. I told them i have no sexual / romantic interest, and they just think that i'm suppressing homosexual feelings. They still bug me about it.

My mums probably the most annoying, as she is clearly homophobic, but tries to come across accepting. She's always like "I know a guy at work who's gay.. It's okay .. What they do in bedroom is their business.. I'm cool with that". I also went on her PC and found links to Gay Parent support websites in her history. <.<. Then about 2 years ago randomly she just asked me, and i declined and explained, she leaves me alone now. ;D


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18 Dec 2011, 8:26 am

A few days after I was fired from my summer job, one of the store managers, a guy in his 30s, started sending me texts offering me money in exchange for "favors", photos included. He knew I was engaged, though, so I wasn't sure what to make of it. Makes for an interesting story, at least.

Anyway, it is something of a running joke with me. Not sure if I give off that vibe or what, but I like to think I'm just that good looking.

I will say, in high school, homophobia was rampant, and I did get some s**t because I kept to myself. Apparently, that was a "gay" thing to do. I thought homophobia was disgusting then, and I think it's disgusting now.



Last edited by Aberro on 18 Dec 2011, 8:57 am, edited 1 time in total.

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18 Dec 2011, 8:40 am

I have had people assume I'm a lesbian due to my clothing, but who says a straight female can't wear guys clothes?


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18 Dec 2011, 4:12 pm

On the contrary, I've had trouble convincing people I am gay. :)

Specifically, all the women who have shown interest in me. They think I'm making up excuses for rejecting them.



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18 Dec 2011, 9:33 pm

Some people assume I'm gay. I don't know how common that opinion of me is, but seeing as I have feminine mannerisms, am obsessed with musical theatre, and know a lot of showtunes and enjoy talking about them, I assume that a lot of people think I'm gay.

I'm straight (I'm a guy who likes girls), but I'm also transgender (was born in a female body but now present as male). This means that people are extra curious whether I'm straight or gay, they come right out and ask me. I even have people asking me "Wait, are most trans people gay?" No. Trans people and non trans people are pretty much the same when it comes to sexual orientation. There are all types.


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18 Dec 2011, 10:53 pm

It used to be a problem, but not anymore. I guess I've learned how to act more manly.


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19 Dec 2011, 12:12 am

I get mistaken for gay fairly often. The way I figure it, it's due to my abnormal body language. People look for certain body language cues in others which are absent or modified in me. So they assume the next-closest option: gay. Personally, I stopped bothering to go out of my way to disprove their hypotheses years ago. If someone wants to ask, however, I will let them know the truth.

In an odd turn of events, I was watching Big Bang Theory with my ex-gf and asked her if she thought Sheldon was much like me. She said she thought he seemed more gay than aspie. And she herself is bi, so I'm really not sure what to make of that...


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