Asperger's with STRONG empathy?

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I have EXTREMELY strong Empathy. I had a lot of problems with it in the past because for some reason depressed/suicidal people always end up liking me and hanging out with me. It's like I'm a magnet for depressed people rofl...(long story short: having this much depressed friends AND having strong empathy=not fun AT all) It's not like I hate it though, I convinced a lot of my friends to stay alive. I guess I help people, but at the same time it causes me to have problems I shouldn't even have. What about you guys? Any of you have strong empathy? How much of a problem is it for you?

I learned how to 'fake' empathy when I was younger, and over time it became more legitimate. Interesting how that works.

I feel like I am pretty empathetic, maybe too empathetic at times its just usually hard for me to outwardly express it......so not everyone sees it. So yeah its not the empathy that causes me problems its the difficulty expressing it that tends to cause me problems.

I think I'm fairly empathetic, but it's difficult to know because NTs lie all the time.

I'd say that I'm empathetic, but the only thing I could think of as an example for this discussion is me crying after seeing my cat for 12 years being taken away because she was too sick and had to be put to sleep. I still start to choke up and cry when I bring her up.

Hello, All!

I tend to be empathetic, and I am drawn to the hurting, but I. also, have had trouble relating to the pain of others in the same way they do. It's something I've had to work at.

There's nothing wrong with being a beacon of hope to those around you. However, you can't let them suck YOU dry, either. It can be a delicate balance sometimes.

Rob

I'm extremely sensitive and soak up others' feelings like a sponge. I always mistook them for my own feelings and had no idea it could even possibly be the vibes given off by the other person, until pretty recently.

My biggest problem is doing something about these feelings. I hardly ever know how to communicate them...

Empathy has a million confused meanings whether you're referring to psycho-jargon, the dictionary, or common usage.

I'll just say I'm more sensitive than the norm.

I'm the same way but everyone comes to me with their problems whether its a bad person with a criminal record or a person with a disability I seem to attract them all why they come to me I don't fully understand but I seem to get roped into peoples problems all the time I hate it. I like helping people and I am extremely understanding but I don't have the guts to say no because I don't like hurting peoples feelings. I get myself stuck in situations when helping someone with their problem that my Mum has to help me out of the situation and this has been happening for years. I have had to have support worker carers at the disability agency I attend have to explain not to come to me for their problems and to goto them because I dont fully understand and it stresses me out big time and to remember I have a disability too and that Im not a staff member but a client. I get over 15 calls a day from people talking to me about their problems when all I want is a break even over this christmas break they havent left me alone I have had over 10 phone calls and 20 sms messages from people needing help with their problems. Im glad Im at Mum and Dads at the moment my Dad wont let me answer the phone and Mum answers my sms messages. I just need a break it stresses me out its so mentally exchausting and I get all upset about it that it starts my anxiety attacks and autistic meltdown and my epileptic fits. I dont like hurting anyones feelings I dont want to be mean all I want is these guys to realise I may not be the right person to talk too about their problems and that I have a disability too and that I dont fully understand their situation and that I need a break. I dont mind them talking about anything else but their problems or involving me in it.

i've always been overly empathetic, especially of the underdog.

My god. Your experience is exactly like mine. I too have depressed suicidal friends and get problems from it

I have what psychologists call emotional
contagion. I have difficulties with
emotional regulation...........it's like my
empathic system is turned up full or
turned off completely.

However, for those who struggle with
Depression and loneliness my empathic
system always bursts into action. Fellow
strugglers sense this in me and then
flock to me too.

There are other factors as to why I listen
well, having spent nearly 20 years in
psychotherapy I have moved well Beyond
the intellectual expression of my feelings
and into the feeling of my feelings.

My tears have in many ways become the
tears of humanity.

I have since trained as a counsellor and
now have better boundaries to contain
myself.

Can we please stop with the NTs do [fill in the blank] all the time. People on the spectrum lie; NTs lie. Honesty is not exclusive to any one group.

Like many here I would also describe myself as being rather empathic, rather than having none at all. My psychologist has actually explained that it is a common misconception that aspies or others on the autism spectrum don't have empathy - the truth is, they express it differently, and in my own experience at least, more honestly than NTs.

My desire to sort out people's problems has lead me to study psychology myself and some day I hope to work as a clinical psychologist. Sometimes other peoples' problems can be very draining indeed, but what I have learned to do is associate with a small group of friends (perhaps around 8-12 people) and I will usually see at least one of these people every second day. Many of them do suffer from depression and other disorders, and the understanding I have with these friends is that they need to be sensitive about how much they share (and also HOW they share) their feelings and their problems. I tend only to hang around people that are sensitive in this way. In return, when I am feeling depressed or down, I do the same for them.

It also helps to learn detachment (which is VERY much the opposite of not caring). Detachment is the ability to view oneself as an outsider for the sake of problem-solving. All psychologists, NT or autistic will need to learn this, or they will likely commit suicide 5 years into the job. I wouldn't know exactly how to teach detachment, but since I'm aiming this mostly at aspies, I would say the following: Think about your emotions and feelings as related to others LOGICALLY. Reason in your own mind that if you are detached yet you care, you will be more efficient at solving the problem than if you dwell on the pain that you feel.


If you do it enough, it basically becomes 2nd nature, just as another poster mentioned can happen for empathy itself.

I know what people are thinking and, from that, I can work out what they're feeling. I've also become quite apt at reading facial expressions for emotion over the years, so I can do that too. But as for actually feeling and understanding their emotions? Pfft, I can't even feel my own.

Last edited by Asp-Z on 26 Dec 2011, 9:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm extremely empathetic. I can tell how somebody is feeling just by looking at them, even if they're smiling I know how they're feeling on the inside.