Adults and Children with Autism Interact Much?

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I was wondering how common it is for adults and children with autism to interact with each other, both those who are in a parent-offspring relationship and those who are unrelated. I thought to ask after seeing the video of the autistic kids crying and the mothers talking about how hard life is raising them. I found myself doing something I don't remember doing before. I began rocking while thinking of wanting to comfort the children. This is not because I had any notion of what I could actually do to help. I just knew they were distressed and suddenly had this mental image of holding them and rocking, and then I noticed I was actually rocking (from side to side, as it so happens). I know kids in that emotional state may not want to be touched or that it may not even help, but it just made me wonder what, if anything, autistic adults have been able - or allowed - to contribute to the issue of how to help autistic kids when they're distressed or having other troubles crop up. I'd be happy to hear from anyone, whether the autistic parent of an autistic child or an adult who has had a chance to contribute something with regard to a child who is not their own.

I'm sure I've dealt with aspies before, but I've never met face-to-face with anybody identifying as having AS. It's not that I have avoided such people, it's just that I live in a very rural area without many people of any kind. The closest psychiatrist or psychologist is over 120 miles from me.

I do have an autistic kid shelving books on a volunteer basis (I run a public library). But his symptoms are completely different than mine.

I'm sure actually meeting somebody else who has AS would be an interesting experience, and I look forward to it. Before I started posting here, I'd never even communicated with anybody who had AS. This is the first group of people I've really been able to understand fully.

Personally, I think it would be a good idea for successful adult aspies to work with kids who have the right attitude--who really want to learn to deal with this world. Just as a successfully reformed alcoholic can talk to people with a drinking problem in ways a non-alcoholic can't, I'm sure successful aspies can communicate with young aspies in a language they will understand. But this should be done on a case-by-case basis.

Yeah, me too. It's impossible for me to see kids that distressed without wanting to offer some comfort. When my daughter is in meltdown touching her is the wrong thing to do. Once a school vice-principal, who my daughter actually adored, tried to hug her during a meltdown. My dd hit her. A better thing to do is sit near, but not touching and give her a tissue. Don't talk, just wait. I think my own issues make it easier for me to understand her behaviors and deal with the sensory and other issues rather than just assuming that it's "bad" behavior. Sometimes the school will listen to me, sometimes not. Too often not.

I don't usually believe in these things, but there seems to be some sort of tendency in many (definitely not all) autistic children to pick me out before even knowing me all that long.

I like working with special ed kids because of it I dealt with some kids on the spectrum already too. I know a lot of people say it's difficult to work with someone on the spectrum but... well, for me it's not any more difficult. It's easier to work with someone on he spectrum sometimes because I'm autistic too but it usually isn't because a lot of children have co-morbid disorders and some have difficult families which even the level of difficulty out.

Somehow, some autistic kids and I end up interacting with each other during work even when I'm supposed to

In my last job I suddenly was approach by a boy with either AS or PDD-NOS who each time had real autistic issues with how loud another kid was or that he couldn't stand having his shirt tugged to get his attention but who was actually told to get lost by the teachers who didn't really get what he was telling them.

There were two exceptions so far, one boy with PDD-NOS who was far more interested in interacting with children than in interacting with adults. Nothing special there. The other one was a boy with AS who didn't accept that I wouldn't allow him to order me around in the same way that his teachers and parents allowed him to order them around and that I wouldn't take his AS as an excuse to repeatedly inflict intentional harm on others. I couldn't accept that.

My mom has her own theory about why some people on the spectrum seem to seek each other out and why it happens to me with some kids.

She says a lot of children tend to seek me out if they can decide on which adult they'll approach because apparently, I treat children and special ed kids like everybody else who thinks and feels. Well, I don't know. Autistic children are perfectly real people and it's not like they can't think or can't feel and don't have a mind of their own.

But then, even normal children are sometimes belittled and sometimes treated like they aren't entirely human yet and still need to grow into being a real human person. That's so odd.

I do think what my mom means is that I don't try to interact with the person I expect someone to be and ignore who they already are but that I interact with the person who's right there already. If a kid's communicating with me in their own way then that's fine with me. I'm not going to ignore that and expect them to somehow magically be able to communicate with me in a "normal" way.

As long as their way of communication is healthy and respectful then what does it matter if it isn't like some people imagine it should be like. I sure don't communicate normally either so who am I to demand that of someone else.

That works well with some kids on the spectrum no matter how mild or severe they are. Last time that I didn't know a boy had autism I somehow ended up being called repeatedly despite that - supposedly - he doesn't care for where others are or if he gets lost by accident, being abused as a pillow for a nap and having my hand taken while walking for two hours despite that the people who usually take care of him during afternoons claimed he doesn't talk to new people, he doesn't look at new people and he sure doesn't allow them to get near him.

Truth to be told, I didn't really do anything so I think the boy usually doesn't interact as much because he doesn't get the vibe that he's allowed to interact like that with other adults in his own way. They don't allow him to be himself though they're really trying to - I think they can't because they are not autistic and can't entirely put themselves into an autistic person's shoes.

And because he can't interact just like other children he usually ends up withdrawing to a corner of playroom or gets lost by "accident". That's pretty sad because he's well-mannered and enthusiastic and laughing a lot (he did when I visited) which is cute.

Funny how I'm like this because of an autistic impairment. It's the autism that makes me struggle with having expectations about what the world like no matter the real details. I can't help being stuck on how the world's really like with all its details.

i think it would really depend on the individual. some autistics have that social drive, others dont. my aspie son has always been very desirous of social relationships, just not very successful at them. my SO and our autie son both have severe social anxiety and do not interact with those outside immediate family if they dont have to. our autie is 5 and doesnt play with other kids, and although he has expressed an interest in meeting other autistic kids, that doesnt carry over into a willingness to actually meet them. whether someone is autistic or not, they are still another person, and still produce the same social anxiety as a non-autistic.

we have a mostly NT son that is 2 yrs older than our autie, and their relationship is what i would consider typical. my autie has no problem talking or playing with his NT brother, in fact thats his best friend, and to watch them play together you wouldnt realize that one is an autie (except for the meltdowns, rigid thinking, flapping, spinning, etc heh). while my autie still exhibits problems with reciprocal conversation, the social interaction is pretty much what you would see between two kids playing together, there is absolutely no anxiety for my autie.

there is something we refer to in our house as "same as self" in regards to interactions. for my SO, our middle and youngest are extensions of himself and he has no anxiety in those interactions, same goes for our autie and the rest of us. but my SO does have anxiety, albeit much less than with outsiders, with myself and our aspie who is not his biological son, as we are not truly extensions of himself. his relationship with our aspie is a bit awkward socially, altho i know he loves him completely.