A note for noobs.

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Gosh there are an awful lot of questions like this. I should be used to it by now, but it starts driving me a little nuts how the same ones never seem to go away, or if they do are quickly replaced by the exact same or similar enough questions.

"I'm like 'this,' is anybody else out there like this?" (There are over 57,000 users here. What do you think?)

"Is Asperger's like this or that?"

"Anyone relate to this?" (See parenthetical after first question)

"Is [this] an Asperger's trait?"

"[This] is an Asperger's trait, but I don't have [this], does that mean I don't have Asperger's?"

It seems like almost everyone, including me when I first started looking into it, wants some kind of "picture" painted for them of what Asperger's Syndrome is. Or some sort of unambiguous definition. It's like everyone, when they first get here are looking for some kind of neatly wrapped "fits in a box" idea of what it is.

The trouble is, AS is not like that at all. It takes time to fully understand it. It takes effort. The best effort is expended in researching it on your own. MOST of the noob questions that are asked repeatedly can be answered without a ton of effort just by reading enough.

The most important point I'd like to make is that if you're looking for an idea of AS that fits in a box neatly in your head, you may as well be asking:

"What shape is an amoeba?"

It only annoys me when people take a genuine trait what is typical in most or all humans and then just clasify is as an Aspie trait.

Then it makes NTs seem to me like emotionless robots with no problems, feelings, intelligence, thoughts, dreams, and even any unique persona about them, like they're all exactly the same in looks, personalities, and etc.

Sorry but it just seems to disturb me because it makes me feel like Aspies are more than what we really are (or less than what we really are).

Well, it's an irregular roundish shape.

Even the undefined can be defined. We just need to define them as undefined.

It's ironic that people who are characterized as thinking in concrete terms are categorized as having such an amorphous condition.

Here I am, thinking that the post might be about the noobs in Call of Duty who always use the grenade launcher attachment.

When I came here, I spent a lot of time reading everything I could, and went back a few dozen pages in the general forum. By the time I actually posted (about a shutdown I'd had) I was already fairly convinced. But WP wasn't my only source of information, either.

I have been lurking on this forum for about a year and a half or so. Also, i have read commentaries on the forum aspiesforfreedom. It's definitely a wealth of knowledge out here.

TheSunAlsoRises

The way you're feeling...is that an Asperger's trait? Please. I need to know, I'm desperate. I need to use it as my next Facebook status.


Sorry, got a bit carried away there. I understand exactly how you feel. I just ignore it, or mock it. Probably mock it.

Some things can relate to being autistic/ AS and some thing relate to being human.

First posted Oct. 31, 2011

Before you post, check this list. The answer to your question is probably here...

• Any firmly-stated opinion is likely to have several equally firmly-stated opinions in opposition. Learn to deal with it.
• Anyone who does not share your political, religious, or philosophical beliefs is not your enemy; nor are they stupid, ret*d, insane, evil, or a troll. They simply do not share your beliefs. They may also be right.
• As different as we all are from each other, we are all here for similar reasons.
• Asking for evidence to support your claims is not a personal attack. Ditto for simply disagreeing with your opinion - not everyone who disagrees with you is an evil troll in need of having a new anal sphincter ripped open by you.
• Asking for medical advice on a public social website is not as effective as asking for the same advice from a trained and licensed medical professional. Seek medical advice from a trained medical professional. Ditto for psychological advice.
• Assumptions prove nothing. Neither do accusations, beliefs, dreams, emotions, fantasies, feelings, opinions, prejudices, rumors, suspicions, or something that you think you remember reading on some other forgotten website. Ditto for suggesting conditions or situations that have no basis in reality.
• Become familiar with this website's layout, and the general purpose for each forum. For example, if you are having a really hard time coming to terms with your child's autism, make your thread in the Parenting Forum instead of General Autism.
• Can we stop with the "More Autistic Than Thou" contest? It's getting kind of boring. Same for "More Abused Than Thou" and "More Miserable Than Thou" contests. There are no awards given out, so think of something else to discuss, okay?
• Derailing a thread topic to refute one small detail in a singular post does not endear you to the general membership. If you must refute something specific, then it's best to start a whole 'nuther thread.
• Famous Person X may or may not be autistic, but it's hard enough to diagnose somebody when they're sitting right in front of you with neuropsych testing materials in between. Diagnosing somebody at a distance is, for all practical purposes, impossible. Not that we won't claim them as an autistic anyway. Ditto for famous historical people, especially dead ones.
• Functioning labels are meaningless. If you use them, define them first, but maybe it's better if we just don't use them.
• Have you read this website's rules of conduct? Are you sure? Please read them again ... and maybe even review them once a month or so.
• If one person calls your posts "childish and immature", then you can ignore him or her; if two or more people do the same thing, then maybe you should consider revising your writing style; and if "everybody" says so, then maybe you should simply grow up a little.
• If you are a "gentle soul" and would like replies to your posts phrased in a gentle way, then is is best for you to post in "The Haven", which has been set aside specifically for this purpose.
• If you ask for advice in any forum other than "The Haven", be prepared to receive advice that is honest, unbiased, sincere, and possibly hurtful or offensive to you.
• If you post a question that you don't want an answer to, expect at least one reply that you don't want to read.
• If you think that you recognize yourself in someone else's post (rant or otherwise), and you take offense as to what was being said, then please verify that the post was intended for you before "ripping a new one" for the person who made the post.
• Investment in a free on-line spelling checker (or Firefox) will go a long way toward improving your apparent intelligence, and thus your credibility as well.
• Just because some of us may have jobs, homes, relationships, or wealth, that does not mean that we have never suffered to obtain any of them; nor does it mean that we have never earned any of them, either.
• Just because someone is a troll does not mean they are an Aspie.
• Just because you are suffering, it does not mean that no one has ever suffered as much (or more) from being in the same situation that you are in right now.
• Just because you don't agree with what someone else say or does, that doesn't mean that he or she does not have Asperger's.
• Lots of us have ADHD, too. You are not the only one.
• Making generalizations about neurotypicals is no more fair, valid or useful than making generalizations about autists.
• Marijuana and alcohol will get you high, but they will not make you NT. Ditto for Oxytocin.
• Medication is neither poison nor panacea. Can we stop being so sensationalistic about it now?
• No you can't beat being normal into children, if you try they won't like you very much and it makes you a bad parent.
• No, I don't want to take a magic pill to make me neurotypical. More importantly, the magic pill doesn't exist and will never exist, so can we just admit to ourselves that the magic pill is a symbol for "Are you okay with who you are?"
• No, self-diagnosed people are not hypochondriacs; not all of them, anyway...
• No, the fact that your ex-boyfriend/ex-husband is a jerk does not mean that he has Asperger's.
• No, they are not taking Asperger's out of the DSM. They're creating a new Autism Spectrum Disorder category, and it will include Asperger's.
• No, we're not sociopaths. When's the last time you saw me murdering somebody? Never? Right, then. Not a sociopath.
• No, you are not the most loathsome, pitiful person ever to walk the planet. You're an interesting and valuable human being, trust us. We've felt that way, too, so the Most Pitiful Person position is already occupied. You'll have to be content with just being yourself.
• No, you don't have to be NT to land a date.
• Not every post is about you, nor should every thread be derailed to be about you either.
• NTs are weird. You know it, we know it. Let's just accept it and move on.
• Please make sure you have something new and useful to contribute before starting a new thread. This website has a "Search" function for just this purpose. Use it.
• Please, please, please ... read your Most Holy Scriptures in their entirety before misquoting from them and misapplying whatever you think they say to whatever random topic comes to your mind.
• Posting something so large that it requires the reader to scroll down risks that post not being read at all (e.g., "tl:dr" means "Too Long; Didn't Read").
• So you claim to have psychic abilities or the ability to perform miracles. That's nice. How about a demonstration, right here and right now?
• So your pet is adorable. How sweet. Unfortunately, your pet is just like every other pet of its species, save for a few cosmetic and behavioral differences.
• Some of us can talk. Some of us can't. Deal with it.
• Sometimes, people just don't read your posts; or, if they do, they don't really care anything about what you posted and they will not post a reply. Live with it.
• The best utility for ignoring posts ever discovered resides between your own two ears. Learn to use it.
• The Haven is where you post if you don't want your narcissism ripped apart and brutally exposed by other Aspies.
• The latest online AS screening test shows you're autistic. Cool. We knew that already.
• The PPR forum is the antithesis of The Haven. You have been warned.
• The vaccine-causation myth has been debunked a thousand times already. Do we really have to drag its rotting carcass out of its grave yet again?
• There is no causal connection between AS and (alleged) psychic ability; if there were, then every (alleged) psychic would have AS, and every person with AS would be psychic.
• There is no causal connection between AS and homosexuality; if there were, then every person on the LGBT spectrum would have AS, and every person with AS would be on the LGBT spectrum.
• There is no single "type" of Aspie. When you've met one Aspie, you've met one Aspie.
• They may or may not have AS, but they're definitely a jerk. Why are you hanging around with them, again?
• Twisting your diet into knots won't affect your autism. It may cure your indigestion, but not your autism.
• We don't really care about your IQ score. If you're autistic, it's irrelevant. If you're NT, your report card means more.
• We have no clue if you're autistic. Do you have the symptoms? Then get yourself a psychologist and ask them. Self-diagnosis is meaningless without confirmation by an appropriately-trained and licensed mental-health professional.
• Yeah, your kid is autistic. No, the world is not ending, the sky is not falling, and he can still be happy. Next time somebody tells you he can't, just do the world a favor and punch them in the face for us, okay?
• Yes, a lot of people would like to create an Autist community; so many, in fact, that there are already many a thread on this very subject.
• Yes, Asperger's is a type of autism.
• Yes, savant skills exist. No, they're not all "Rainman" parodies, nor is savantism a "psychic" ability.
• Yes, we hate it when people make fun of us, too.
• Yes, you can get disability payments for Asperger's. No, you do not want to try to live on them.
• Your special interest may be odd, but we've seen weirder. Quit worrying and have fun with it!

I can not find the original thread that I posted this in, but I did keep the text itself. I'm sure that there is lots more that can be added to it.



(Edited for typos and spelling errors, Dec. 17, 2011).

Last edited by Fnord on 18 Dec 2011, 2:08 am, edited 2 times in total.

Oh, I found the original thread the other day, Fnord. I'll pm you the link if I find it again.

May as well link it here, so everyone can see it. There was a lot of useful stuff in there.

This was the first time I saw it, although Callista posted the list:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt172380.html

She did? They say that a man's memory is the second thing to go...

You contributed several to the list.

If people don't like the posts other posters make, is there any particular reason they can't just ignore them?

The internet is not running out of space.

AUTHOR'S EDIT:

Personally, I don't understand why some people feel the need to ask a forum full of strangers a bunch of questions that they could easily find the answers to if they bothered to do a little actual research [edited because XFGeek was being a bit if a twit]

Sometimes, the answer is simply that some people aren't very skilled at written communication. [edited because XFGeek was being a bit of a twit]

Please ignore overly-aggressive response. Thank you, WP.

Last edited by XFilesGeek on 22 Dec 2011, 12:22 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I knew Callista's thread would come up. It's a great thread too.

Got to thinking about the way I phrased the amoeba question. It might have been better phrased as "What shape are all amoebas?"

Sorry, you can't use it as your facebook status. I'm the only one who feels this way.

To tell you the truth, I do ignore it most of the time. I guess sometimes I may mock it lightly now and again too, but I try not to. I understand what it's like to wonder all the same things. I did it too, and I think most of us did before we understood how convoluted Autism really is.

It doesn't really bother me much anymore, but it does get a little bit tiring seeing the same questions over and over. I doubt that will ever change. I'm just hoping that the analogy might help some newer to Autism understand how complex it is while at the same time being, in an odd way, elegantly simple.

I didn't "get it" until I stopped focusing in on specific "traits." I started to "get it" once I realized how different we all are from each other when it comes to the nitty-gritty details, yet how similar we are in a very limited few ways. Those "few ways" though, can only be described in very general terms.

Sometimes we get into semantic debates over exactly how to describe the more general similarities. <-- That right there IS a good example of "Autism at work."

I'm betting that also is behind why noobs get so confused about it. Making sense out of what I read here when I first came was a lot like trying to build a sturdy and straight skyscraper out of bricks made of play-dough and rubber. No matter how I tried to put it all together in a familiar form that made sense to my head, it just kept bending, twisting, and sometimes falling apart.

I had to learn to quit trying to make it fit into some form that made sense to me, and accept how fluid and complex it can be. I had to learn to start paying less attention to minute details, and more attention to what might be calles "threads of similarities" that kind of bind us all together within the spectrum.

I think we all have far more differences than similarities, but those few similarities run through most, if not all of us.