Have you given up on people and why?

Post Reply New Topic

I have posted here on family issues and am told to give the silent treatment perhaps for weeks/months/YEARS! For me that'd be a "fake" behavior since I'm not one to go silent for too long so it'd be hard for me. I also see posts about haven't talked to mom/dad or around a sibling since they've treated you wrongly. Well I'm confused. Have they always treated you wrong ALWAYS and there is no good? I can not see going silent not talking to my parents or sisters just because of an issue in understanding my Aspieness although it'd be the 1,000th time this has happened I always brush it off come here and move on.

To go silent or not talk to them for years sounds pretty extreme. I know they will never understand me but I'm not willing to give up and be a hermit and alone. Also if family treats me harshly how is the world going to be such as a boss. So far with professors they are nicer than my parents in some ways which is sad. I can rant about Sociology to my professor and he engages me with his knowledge vs. my family whom just go about there lives not interested in my interest whether they be academic or the latest videogame. If you've given up on talking to a family member I ask why?

What did they do to hurt you so bad for you to be alone and become a recluse? Perhaps just having your animal/job and that's it? Hopefully you have an understanding love relationship even if your family relationship is hell. This is what I'm hoping for a guy who's understanding of my Aspie behaviors but I'm not sure if that'll ever happen. Just curious why all the negativeness.

I never could understand the concept of not speaking to someone because of one disagreement. Especially those people who for years have been so nice to me. I can see if it was something severely hurtful and delberate. But that would have to be pretty blatantly intentional.

Because I gave up everything I wanted in my life to spend years looking after a disabled relative and got nothing but abuse for it.

Because I have spent a life time being bullied, ridiculed and rejected by people when all I ever wanted to do was help them.

Now I just hate them instead.

For all that I gave up for people over the years and as kind as I tried to be I ended up homeless, disowned by my family because of my depression and for something I never did...they even took my only child from me for that something I never did because someone lied about me. My only child and probably the only one I will ever have. I have not seen him for over 2 years and I was left with no home, no job, no belongings, no friends, no family...nothing.

Over 12 years of my life I gave up for people. I even gave up a degree that I was getting A grades on to look after them and what a kick in the guts I got for doing it.

Add to that I cannot find love, I cannot find friends and if I died tomorrow no would even know I was dead let alone come to my funeral. I will end up in an unmarked grave somewhere with no mourners and it makes me feel sick because I have always tried to be kind to people.

Now I just hate them.

I hate them

I hate them

I hate them

I hate them

I hate them

I hate them

I hate them

Yes. It's hard, but sometimes you have someone in your life who just makes you miserable all the time, you realize it's never going to change, and you need to purge them from your life completely for your own well-being. It takes quite a bit for me to get to that point, though.

I have never given up on family, even though I've had every reason to. I was physically abused. I found it's harder to forgive those who stood by and let it happen than it is the ones who actually did it. It leaves me with a very bitter feeling. Also remembering the judgements made on me over the years is very hard. A lot of those comments still reverberate and I'm sure the family members who said those things to me have long since forgotten them, but I haven't. I wonder sometimes if I would be better off if I had disconnected from my family completely. It's not all bad, but the bad really haunts me a lot.

I gave up college to provide in-home care for my father, who suffered a one-car auto accident while driving drunk, so I know where you're coming from on that one. As they say, "Let no good deed go unpunished."

I, too, have felt and thought as you have about life, and as many of you here also say that you feel and think this way. Have there been any studies concerning the Aspie suicide rate as opposed to the population in general?

Have A Great Day!

Rob

My dad's cousin was hard to get along with. I kept pissing her off and I couldn't stop being rude and couldn't stop interrupting. It was putting so much stress on me so I decided to make it easier for me, I was not going t talk when she is around nor to her and I would only speak when spoken too. I don't care if I never interact with her because she is hard to get along with and she is just my dad's cousin. Even my mother stopped speaking to her too and then years later my dad's cousin decided she wanted to try again and make up and mom decided to do it and work out the issues. I wonder if she will change?

Then in high school, kids kept giving me crap and telling me to shut up and not liking me being in their conversation. Same as when I would ask them why they are crying or what is wrong, they tell me to mind my own business so after a while I decided they wanted me to pretend I don't notice and just ignore it so I started doing just that. Then they accuse me of not caring about other people so I used that against them and they told me "never mind." Then they would also ask me questions about other people and what I think of them so I would answer. Plus I would also be talking and I say things about other people and they go to that person and tell them and they would also go to them and tell them leaving out the fact they had asked me for my opinion. I learned to not speak to those people because anything I say, they tell it to others and I got tired of the other crap they were giving me. I just stopped trusting them and it took me that long to figure it out.

Some people do just have to get away from abuse, no question, but for many I think it is just misunderstanding and poor communication. Its sad if people become estranged instead of learning. Much can be fixed and changed with time.

I have an autistic friend who is utterly convinced her family don't love her. I know they do. I know it, this isn't distant opinion. Her memory is so f****d she remembers only the things that really hurt. Bad stuff happened where she thought they were rejecting her, when they were just f*****g up and not understanding stuff. Those bad memories have blocked out all the years and years of good stuff. Its tragic. She is truly loved by people who she will not even talk to because she actually can't remember any kindness.

Also, my sister is capable of cutting my family off. I get my sister, they don't. My family are a pain in the arse but they love her deeply in their own way (as proven by 45 years of care, giving, nurturing, patience, often for very little love back.)
I have to manage my life so she doesn't cut herself off from them, because I know concilliation and learning is always possible. Most problems are solvable with talking, therapy, advice, information, fascilliatation and patience.
Some are intractable and you need to find some space and take care of yourself.