Why do they do this too us?

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Why do some NT's use us Aspies as a scapegoat?

A lot of NTs love blaming their own pitfalls on others. The ones who use Aspies as scapegoats are, themselves, incapable idiots.

my brother and my uncle who is not very intelligent uses me as a scapegoat blaming me for all my families problems

but really why might somebody 'pick' someone just too play the role of a scapegoat?

yeah but besides that what type of personality or character traits can make someone particurley vulnrable too being a scapegoat?

Some people use other people as scapegoats because they can't stand taking responsibility for their own actions. It always has to be someone else' fault. In their world view things don't just happen. It has to be someone's fault and sense it can't be their own fault the blame has to fall on a convenient other.

You will note that I carefully avoided using the terms NT and Aspie because it really doesn't always apply. All too often Aspies make good scapegoats since we're apt to lack the social skills to know when someone is placing blame that doesn't belong. We tend to just believe them. It's hard to have enough skills to express the outrage that is appropriate. It's hard to set boundaries so strong that the blamer bumps their noses on it.

If it happens early enough and long enough the "scapegoat" starts to believe it all and truly take on the sins of the other.

SylvialLynn judging by my past threads do you think my uncle and brother use me as a scapegoat?

Yes, Jamesy, it's likely that they do. Just because they say things doesn't mean they're true. What do you think? Big secret: You don't have to accept the role of scapegoat.

SylvialLynn do you think its just because of my AS and i have a different neurology too them and that could be why they target me?

It could be, Jamesy. Are they blaming you for things that are going wrong for them? That's what scapegoating is. Or is it that they're trying to get you to do what they think you should be doing? People can be extraordinarily bad at saying what they really mean without hurting others.

Well when i was 4 or 5 years old my uncel bent my finger back. what does that tell you then?

my uncle is quite a free spoken person.

If your uncle did that, do you really need me to tell you he's an a**hole? Once again, you're an adult and you're not a goat. Why are you putting up with it? It's fine to gripe about it but for heaven's sake DO something about it.

SylviaLynn i have not told you this yet but..... my uncle almost died back in 99 of alchol problems and infact he has almost died twice get some of his splean removed as a consequence of his alcohol problems. when my grandmother died in 97 my uncle drank heavily every night after untill that faithful day in 1999 when he got ill.

and as for my brother well quite often he comes back high on weed at 4 in the morning some nights

You are not responsible for anyone's behavior but your own. No one else is responsible for your behavior. Yeah, their lives suck and they might be taking out their sucky lives on you. What are you going to do about it? Are you going to blame your behavior on them?

Jamesy, I agree with Sylvialynn.

I grew up in a profoundly dysfunctional and abusive home and it took far too many years of wondering what was wrong with me to finally figure out that there really isn't anything wrong with me.

My family members are miserable monsters that will victimize anyone they can. That isn't my fault and there was/is nothing I can do to change them or their lives.

Take care of yourself, even if it means doing the socially unthinkable i.e. drastically limiting your contact with your family. You might be surprised what you find out about yourself once you are no longer in a situation where you are a constant victim.