Super sensitive to tone of voice

Post Reply New Topic

Now I know that many people with ASDs find it hard to recognise changes in tone of voice. I have the complete opposite and wondered if anyone else identifies with this? I am really talking about people I know and whose tone of voice patterns I know. If my fiance says something in a way that I don't consider to be his normal tone of voice then I assume something is wrong. I am regularly asking him if he is in a mood or if I have done something wrong and he always says he's fine, which confuses me because I know his tone of voice was different to normal. Sometimes he admits later that something was wrong and that he just didn't want to say which makes me mad. It does happen with strangers too but I would never ask them if they are moody. It just makes me anxious if I perceive their tone of voice to be negative. I often get upset and am overly sensitive just because of someone's tone of voice.

Yes, I'm the same way, very sensitive to nuances in tone. I could never identify personally with the "unable to distinguish meaning from tone" stuff.

I just think it's kinda ironic that nobody ever seems to be able to accurately read my own tone of voice. The rest of my family seems to be completely oblivious to my nonverbal communication. I've been analyzing this in the past few days, and it is beginning to amuse me.

Even with a fiance, might there be a case for realms of privacy and giving space?

Do you think it's because tone of voice is more connected to people's real feelings instead of the social-emotional stuff of fake smiles and sarcastic eyes or whatever?

I am so good at reading tone of voice that I can almost figure out what somebody is talking about on the phone just by listening to how they are saying things. There's so many ways my mum says ''oh no'', and for each ''oh no'' I can identify what is being said on the other end of the line. I can't explain a tone of voice, but I know what the different tones are when I hear it.

I'm glad I'm not the only one

AardvarkGoodSwimmer - I'm not really sure what you mean.

I think you could be right btbnnyr. I suppose it's also to do with noticing small changes, it's just a change in tone of voice.

That sounds similar to me Joe90. Funnily enough I find it almost impossible to change my own tone of voice though :s

I'm also very sensitive to the differences in the tones of the voices of the people that I know. Some tones are very hard for me to take like a sarcastic tone or a harsh tone.

Since I am already aware of my inability to read and understand social ques, I tend to over-analyze a persons body language and intonation, as though it were a painting or sonata, respectively. I think we can hear different intonations but may or may not understand them, which causes us anxiety because of that uncertainty. I am extremely hypersensitive around my boyfriend and parents.

I mean, it's a skill I'm trying to add. If someone is in a grumpy mood before dinner or before an evening event, maybe just give them a little space and let them bring it up if they need to. Now, if it goes on several hours, then maybe raise the point myself (nondirectional question).

Yes, I'm like this too. I had a huge row with my sister in law last year, which all started because she raised her voice to my daughter. In my opinion she shouted, but she says she didn't. I'd put up with being aware of little nuances in her voice (and my mother in law's) for over 20 years, knowing eactly what they were inferring, but never having the guts to tell them I didn't appreciate their attitude. Had I said anthing, I would have been told I was being paranoid. After the argument with my sister in law, my mother in law decided she'd try to put me in my place and confirmed everything I'd suspected all along. So, I'm not paranoid, not psychic either, just highly sensitive.

Same here. I know many aspies have trouble reading cues in general but I read voice before body language. So now days I dont really have trouble reading people anymore.

When I was in 10th grade (age 15 and 16) way back in 1979, during presentations in JROTC, it occurred to me . .

that I am very highly attune to tone of voice, being able to remember tone of voice,

but if someone blushes, I hardly see it at all.