How do you handle eye-contact in a small group?

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I have the hardest time knowing where to focus my eyes when in a small group of, say, 3-8 people.

Usually, one person is talking and the rest of the group is listening or there are several conversations going on at the same time.

When one person is sitting right next to me and he/she is talking (and the rest of the group is listening), it is really awkward to strain my head and body to look straight at him/her. If it is a guy, I feel like I'm flirting. If it's a gal, it still feels invasive.

How do you handle a small group when the person sitting right next to you is either talking to the whole group or to another person......do you strain your neck to look directly at him/her? (it feels so awkward, especially if they are sitting close by)

When several conversations are going on at the same time, is it best to dart your head around like a ping-pong ball and look at the person who is talking? Or is it better to also look at the person who is being addressed, even if that person isn't talking?

It gets really confusing when there are several conversations going on at the same time and you have to look at SOMEONE and there is no wall to stare at or nowhere for your eyes to "escape"


Ugh

My eye contact is horrible in a small group, when I have to sit in small groups at work, I never feel comfortable and kinda uneasy, let alone making eye contact.

Most times I'll just look down at the table and not look at anybody.

The wall or distance if outside, the floor or ground, and the ceiling or sky, and whatever I am holding in my hands are my favorite places to focus my eyes during group interactions. I don't dart my eyes around much depending on who is speaking. When I do turn towards the speaker, there is a long lag between everyone else doing so and me doing so. Group interactions tend to get way ahead of me within a couple of minutes unless I am the one speaking. When I am speaking, I look at whatever I am holding in my hands or one person, the last person who addressed me. I never modulate my gaze around the other people in the group. I can't remember to do it, but I have noticed that NTs naturally modulate their gaze around the whole group. With me, it is like there is only me and the last person who spoke to me. Sometimes, there is only me, if I am speaking while staring at the thing in my hand.

I just look at whoever is talking. (if I decide to look, that is.)

I try to make eye contact with whoever is talking but I feel like I'm staring. Usually my eyes dart around the room and I end up staring at someones sweater or jewelry because I like the pattern or color of it.

I'll either take turns looking at each person involved in the conversation, because then I don't look at any one person for an extended amount of time. Or I'll look at the floor, like a dope. People think I'm deep in thought about the topic if I slowly nod my head at the same time, so they don't care if I'm not looking at the speaker.

For me, one of the biggest problems with making eye contact with people is I often get distracted and just look wherever, often spacing out visually, meaning I'm still listening, very intently usually, it's just I'm not paying much attention to where I'm staring or what's going on visually. It probably has something to do with strong mental imagery going on when I intently listen to people.

When listening to someone right next to you, try shifting a little in your seat, so you can turn partly towards them, and also, tilt your head a little towards them, as well as turning it partly towards them, so it will be clear that you are listening to them. This way you won't have to strain your neck.

It is best to try to look at the person currently speaking, but this becomes difficult when there are multiple conversations going on at the same time. When that happens, you can try ping ponging around to each speaker, but this is difficult for many of us on the spectrum. Because it often takes us longer to process input, we tend to have a time lag. An alternate choice is to look at your hands on the table in front of you, or if no table, on your lap. If there is any paper work associated with the event, you can keep that in front of you, and look at that, also. This is also helpful for those of use who can rarely make eye contact at all. When outside, find something there to focus on.

I remember reading somewhere years ago, that when you look at someone in the face who is positioned close to you, it is best to focus on a point near the top of their nose, at or just below the level of the eyes. That's because when people are that close it can be hard to focus on both of the eyes at once, so this part of the nose works better as a focal point for close-up eye contact. It will still feel like "eye contact" to the other person, because it is close enough to the eyes.

My problem is that I find direct eye contact to be extremely uncomfortable, and also, I am a mouth watcher when people talk. Because I am better at receiving visual input, I take in the input better when I watch them speaking, although I am not deaf. Occasionally people have been a little bothered by my watching their mouths, instead of their eyes, but I do this without even thinking, and have always done so. It is "normal" for me. I even do this when watching people on TV. I do occasionally think of making eye contact during conversations, and then I can force myself to do it for a while, but then I start mouth watching again, as soon as I forget to make eye contact. I can't multi task that too good.

Just try to see what works best for you, and hears looking at you, kid.