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NaomiDB
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04 Jan 2012, 3:34 pm

hey guys!!
sorry if this comes across as a bit odd or badly spelt I have been drinking...
so just saw my friend and hes on this new adhd medication he has aspergers and normaly he talks non stop about his special interest and his life ect ect and now he talks really quietly and slowly and seems subdued, he doesn't speak unless directly spoken to he used to be really excentric and excitable now he seems kinda beaten down.
he seems to think this is a good thing because it's how people want him to behave but I hate it, I have lost a lot of time to medications that take away my quirks eccentricity and personality, how do I talk him out of this shizz?



glasstoria
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04 Jan 2012, 3:46 pm

In my opinion, I don't think it is fair to discourage someone based on your own preference for how they act or behave. What might have seemed like quirky and fun to you, could have been quite stressful for him because he is trapped in that state all the time. Sometimes taking a break is necessary especially when the quirks that cause creativity are quite intense. If you value the friendship, remain supportive and be a friend to him while he tries this new medication. The effects could even out more after he has tried it for a few months because medications do not work to full effect immediately.

In my experience, "fixing" or improving other people (for their own best interest of course! hehe) is a lost cause. He is his own person and should be allowed the dignity of trying the medication if he wants to, and having his choice respected.

I had friends who constantly shared their paranoia about medications to me while I was going through a rough time, and I hated that they felt the need to second guess my own decision to try medicine. Yes, the side effects can be undesirable, but I also lived my entire life trying to feel well without prescription medication, and I was exhausted and needed to try it. Doing the same thing and hoping I would get better yielded no results, so trying something new was my option, and I felt very sad that they didn't respect me as a person enough to just say "I disagree in my opinion but I support and care for you as a friend so I wont make this any harder for you" and move on.


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NaomiDB
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04 Jan 2012, 3:54 pm

glasstoria wrote:
In my opinion, I don't think it is fair to discourage someone based on your own preference for how they act or behave. What might have seemed like quirky and fun to you, could have been quite stressful for him because he is trapped in that state all the time. Sometimes taking a break is necessary especially when the quirks that cause creativity are quite intense. If you value the friendship, remain supportive and be a friend to him while he tries this new medication. The effects could even out more after he has tried it for a few months because medications do not work to full effect immediately.

In my experience, "fixing" or improving other people (for their own best interest of course! hehe) is a lost cause. He is his own person and should be allowed the dignity of trying the medication if he wants to, and having his choice respected.

I had friends who constantly shared their paranoia about medications to me while I was going through a rough time, and I hated that they felt the need to second guess my own decision to try medicine. Yes, the side effects can be undesirable, but I also lived my entire life trying to feel well without prescription medication, and I was exhausted and needed to try it. Doing the same thing and hoping I would get better yielded no results, so trying something new was my option, and I felt very sad that they didn't respect me as a person enough to just say "I disagree in my opinion but I support and care for you as a friend so I wont make this any harder for you" and move on.

ok thankyou for the advice I will listen, I just worry he says "this is how people want me to behave" and he should do it for himself.



Callista
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04 Jan 2012, 9:20 pm

You can talk to him about it, because you're his friend (but please do wait until you're sober first, okay? you're going to need to be thinking clearly). But don't try to force him to go one way or the other. The troubling part isn't really that he's taking meds and they're changing his behavior. Maybe he likes being quieter. But he's doing it because that's what other people want; and unless that's what he wants, too, that will really start to wear on him. I've been there; you try to act the way other people want, and it's like living a lie every second of every day, and you even start to hate yourself, reject yourself. Nobody should have to do that. If he wants to take meds, then he should go for it. I do, and they help me. But not because other people want him to be a certain way. Treatment for ADHD is something that's supposed to make YOUR life better.


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