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gyaspie
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07 Jan 2012, 6:00 am

i find myself very shallow in views. i am the type that "judge the book by its cover". When a person yells, i will immediately think that the person is bad and if a person helps someone, i will immediately think that the person must be a good person. If i see that the exterior of a house is painted nicely, i would immediately think that the interior must be very nice too. I tend to make conclusions very easily. Is this common of aspies? are aspies shallow or deep? are most neurotypical people shallow or deep?



Paulie_C
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07 Jan 2012, 6:40 am

From personal experience.

I think like the Dime Bar, which is soft on the outside and crunchy on the inside, people with AS can seem shallow on the outside but are deep on the inside. I am similar to you when I look at people I tend to make snap judgements, although they are less judgemental and more observational now. I have put a lot of effort making these judgements into positive observations in an attempt to make my own life positive. I think the very fact that we do judge/observe gives us the potential to be deep as some people I know either just glaze over the world or go around making their judgements known. I've got to run to work now lol so sorry if this seems incomplete.



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07 Jan 2012, 6:47 am

It really depends on your personality and upbringing.

Me, I'm the opposite.

I'm very impartial, but cautious at the same time.

I don't really go on first impressions, and will only build up an opinion of someone after getting to know them for a while.

If I don't like their attitude, or if our personalities don't click, I just tell them (in a nice, roundabout way of course) that I don't like them, and chances are, the friendship will not work out.



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07 Jan 2012, 8:45 am

I only can go by what I see sometimes but I have been subject to being judged by my cover people turn away from me because of my looks and never want to try and get to know what's on the inside especially hurtful when I am trying to meet people and meet people for a possible relationship. I am a deep person but people will never know


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07 Jan 2012, 8:52 am

It depends on the person really. Some NTs are deep, some Aspies are shallow, some NTs are shallow, some Aspies are deep. I'm not sure what I am really. I sort of know what ''shallow'' and ''deep'' mean with personalities and thoughts, but I don't quite know how to explain myself in that theory.


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07 Jan 2012, 9:06 am

gyaspie wrote:
i find myself very shallow in views. i am the type that "judge the book by its cover". When a person yells, i will immediately think that the person is bad and if a person helps someone, i will immediately think that the person must be a good person. If i see that the exterior of a house is painted nicely, i would immediately think that the interior must be very nice too. I tend to make conclusions very easily. Is this common of aspies? are aspies shallow or deep? are most neurotypical people shallow or deep?


What you described is just elementary understandings of how things work. I used to be like this too, and I wasn't shallow as much as I was going by what I saw. I couldn't read body language or anything, so I assumed that if someone yelled, they were bad. On one hand I was taught that people have different sides to them, but on the other hand I was brought up to absolutist thinking, as in someone is either good or they're bad. So naturally since anger falls in the bad category, people that yell were bad as far as I was concerned. I remember I told my best friend in elementary school we couldn't be friends because he did something that I recently learned was bad. I guess it didn't help that my parents saw everything as black or white, or it seemed to an 8 year old Aspie they did.



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07 Jan 2012, 5:05 pm

I would say deep, as most aspies are introverted, which implies more then what is being displayed.


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HazelEye
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07 Jan 2012, 5:08 pm

I don't really know but I'll go with shallow, because you always need to assume the worst.



Ynnep
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07 Jan 2012, 5:36 pm

I have a tendancy to make snap judgements but I try to be open to changing my mind. As I get older I have realized that my judgement is terrible. I can't trust my impressions at all anymore. So I guess I'm shallow with a chance of depth.



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07 Jan 2012, 8:10 pm

I've been told that I'm deep a few times in the past.


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fiooo
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07 Jan 2012, 11:20 pm

gyaspie wrote:
i find myself very shallow in views. i am the type that "judge the book by its cover". When a person yells, i will immediately think that the person is bad and if a person helps someone, i will immediately think that the person must be a good person. If i see that the exterior of a house is painted nicely, i would immediately think that the interior must be very nice too. I tend to make conclusions very easily. Is this common of aspies? are aspies shallow or deep? are most neurotypical people shallow or deep?


I think those are just "first impressions" which help us judge things quickly. Everyone does that. Most people appear shallow at first but they are really deeper than that. I think that aspies appear especially shallow despite being deep because of their lack of display of emotion.



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07 Jan 2012, 11:36 pm

ALL people are far, far too complex to be summed up in a simple one-word judgement.


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08 Jan 2012, 12:01 am

I'm deep like Barry White.

I need to stop this.


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Paulie_C
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08 Jan 2012, 3:26 am

It is human nature to be judgemental but you may be being too critical of yourself. Like fiooo wrote, they are 'first impressions' which can be built upon later if need be. If, however, the person you walk past will only have a fleeting moment in your life, never to be seen again, then why not look at judge, or 'notice' something about them. So long as you don't run up to them and tell them they have 6 noses then it's ok. Alternatively if you have one of these first impressions with someone that you are likely to meet again then just remember, they call it a first impression for a reason as there will also be a second, third etc.

Also I've just spotted the irony in this thread. Here we are worried about whether we are shallow or deep yet there is an entire active thread on a forum located on a website which has brought us all together to discuss this and many other topics in what seems like a very clear attempt to be open and honest way to try an improve ourselves just on the off chance we may be shallow; sounds deep to me :)

I think what you have is a keen sense of observation, combine that with a smoking jacket and a sidekick called Dr Watson and your onto something there Sherlock :)



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08 Jan 2012, 6:25 am

Are Aspies shallow or deep?

Yes.



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08 Jan 2012, 8:18 am

Ganondox wrote:
I would say deep, as most aspies are introverted, which implies more then what is being displayed.


I'm very introverted, but I would characterise myself as shallow. Just going over the same old, simple things in my head all the time.


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