Afraid to meet other autistics in real life?

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vickygleitz
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14 Mar 2014, 3:25 pm

I know I used to be. I was afraid that they would be dissapointed because they would see that I really am old. I was afraid they would not want to interact with me because I am as non-intellectual in real life as I am on-line. I was mostly afraid that they would actively dislike me because I am one of those strangely perky autistics, the kind that everyone, whatever their neurology, finds annoying as heck.

Most Autistics I have gotten to know, though, are awesome and accept and LIKE me for who I am. [ I think the coolest thing about AutHaven is that being together made us all popular, and no one would've dreamed about wanting to be the MOST popular. ]

I know that there are certain Autistic personality types that, for sure and for certain would dislike me, but they are the ones I want to scream "Will you please pull the broomstick out of your a**" at, so, I guess it goes both ways.

I'm just plain old Vicky. Online and in real life. Yet I was still frightened of disapointing people when we met in real life.

Do any of you -especially the most intelligent and eloquent in writing- worry that people will be dissapointed if they meet you in real life?



GiantHockeyFan
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14 Mar 2014, 3:38 pm

I almost worry I will be seen as too "normal" because I have adapted so well. Unfortunately, it's all just a front as I am about as severe of a High Functioning Aspie and you can be.



MathGirl
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14 Mar 2014, 3:42 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
I almost worry I will be seen as too "normal" because I have adapted so well. Unfortunately, it's all just a front as I am about as severe of a High Functioning Aspie and you can be.
Could you remove that front around other autistics in a situation where it were obvious that it is okay to do so? I often wish people could just be their natural autistic self around me.

This being said, most of my real-life friends are autistic, so I'm not afraid at all.


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Last edited by MathGirl on 15 Mar 2014, 9:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

smudge
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14 Mar 2014, 3:44 pm

I am now.


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MjrMajorMajor
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14 Mar 2014, 4:25 pm

I've met three or four. It's always a headache in some ways, but interesting in others. :shrug:



Waterfalls
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14 Mar 2014, 4:41 pm

Yes. Afraid of being rejected as I am by everyone else.



anotherswede
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14 Mar 2014, 7:17 pm

I'm not afraid to meet autistic people. But I haven't met anyone from chatting online. I have met quite a few, but not so many as I would like. The thing is that I try to be my best and be nice and interesting and maybe make a friend, so I have high hopes when I meet them. But that's not the same as being afraid.

Those I have met have been very different, and most seem to fit in to a couple of different categories that are quite common. Certain personality types. Mostly very different from me. I haven't noticed much interest in me.

Quite the opposite of OP, most I meet are older than me. They like cultural things from long before I can remember and before I was born.



Waterfalls wrote:
Yes. Afraid of being rejected as I am by everyone else.

But why would they reject you?



DevilKisses
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14 Mar 2014, 7:33 pm

Not at all. I don't really care what autistic people think about me. I care more about what the NTs think.


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StarTrekker
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14 Mar 2014, 8:27 pm

I wouldn't be afraid of meeting other autistics, I want to, I have this notion that they are so much easier to get along with because I don't have to work so hard to hide my aspie-ness around them the way I do with NTs. I would love to just be seen as me, rather than as me with all the oddities, the way NTs think of me. I'm going to a group on my school campus in two weeks that's for disabled people of all types, and I'm hoping to make some new friends there; as I've gotten farther and farther into college, I've found NTs to be harder and harder to get along with and understand. In high school it was no problem because they were all in their clicks and left me to hang out with the teachers, but I can't do that with lecture hall professors who nine times out of ten don't remember your name by the end of the semester.


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Waterfalls
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14 Mar 2014, 9:01 pm

anotherswede wrote:
Waterfalls wrote:
Yes. Afraid of being rejected as I am by everyone else.
But why would they reject you?

I have no idea.

I suppose I expect maybe neurotypical people might reject me as too different (Aspie) and people with autism and Aspergers might find me strange for being too almost as if I'm neurotypical. Like if I misunderstand something because I am very literal that seems to turn off both groups. I think maybe people don't know how to take me?



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15 Mar 2014, 9:11 pm

smudge wrote:
I am now.


even me , :wink: I'm afraid I may bore you lot or have to pump my self up full of coke to put myself in the "zone" or I could up my anxiety and let the adreneline do the talking :P Funny how adrenline rush appears like mania to outsiders I've even been asked to my face if I was depressive .


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GiantHockeyFan
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15 Mar 2014, 9:55 pm

MathGirl wrote:
Could you remove that front around other autistics in a situation where it were obvious that it is okay to do so? I often wish people could just be their natural autistic self around me.

This being said, most of my real-life friends are autistic, so I'm not afraid at all.

I honestly don't know. I guess Ive been so tired of being alone and unpopular I wonder if my mask isn't permanently glued to my face. I actually feel even more awkward around real life Autistics as strange as that sounds. I almost feel like at my age I slip in the crack between the "Autistic" and "Normal" categories like I slipped between "nerd" and "jock" in school. Ive learned to hide my weirdness to the point its almost impossible to notice now without being close to me.

One thing I can say is this is the ONLY message board I have ever felt comfortable in so that counts for something.



EzraS
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16 Mar 2014, 2:36 am

I went to school with mostly autistic up until last year, so don't see it being a problem.
Don't really feel any differently about autistic people from NT people.
People are just people to me.