Lost and confused

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I joined this site as i am in need of advise from people who either have been in the same situation or just kind hearted people.


I got diagnosed with Aspergers at the age of 7 although my parents never told me until i was 13. Im now 22 and feel as if im loosing whats left of myself..

First off... and i apologises for the long post.

Ive always felt down and lonely as ive never had a single friend and constantly spend most of my time talking to myself however the past couple of years ive started to feel worse and began to get severe sharp stabbing pains in my chest mainly on the left which always made my eyes water but the pain would go instantly, however for the past 6 months or so i would get these same pains nearly on a daily basis as before it only happened once in a blue moon as well as the pain seems to stay alot longer than just disappear like before as well as feeling short on breath.

Now a few months ago someone called the ambulance out to me who then put these wires all over my body and said my heart was fine but what i want to ask is, is it possible these sharp stabbing pains are caused by anxiety? And what could be done to over come them as i do worry alot.

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The other issue i have is there is this Indian girl at work i really like, and fancy her alot but the thing is every time i see her on her own i say to myself (( ask her if she wants to be friends outside of work/swap numbers )) but i cant even do that. She was the only one at work i felt comfortable making eye contact with but now i cant even look her in the eyes and just seem to look at her shoes, neck and mouth whenever i talk to her.

Its also getting to the point where im dreading going to work on the days shes there. Not nastily as i do really like her but i feel so lost.
What makes it worse is she lives with her cousin and her cousins husband both of which i always feel intimidated towards.

Also no one at my work believes i even have autism and just think im "awkward" this also goes towards the managers on which i got told i had to tell.


Anyway im sorry about the long post (took just over an hour to write) but i feel so lost and down.


Any replys are welcome.. Thank you.

I'm 29 and have asperger's I'll see if I can help. The sharp pains I have no idea about, I've never experienced anything like that. I'd suggest getting checked by a doctor and if they don't find anything check with a psychiatrist.

About the indian girl I do understand. You are feeling uncomfortable with her because you have a crush on her. Seeing her reminds you that you feel like asking her out, but asking her out would bring the risk that she would reject you which you probably are afraid of, so your mental defense system kicks in and causes you to feel shy when around her.

I would recommend you be careful about this situation because she's a coworker. Relationships with coworkers are inherently risky because it can affect your performance at work, it is already affecting your performance and you haven't even asked her out yet. Would you be able to get a different job somewhere else? If you get a job elsewhere it should make it easier for you to ask her out and would make the situation less risky for both of you.

As for your coworkers not believing you have autism well technically they are correct autism is not the same as asperger's. People with autism wouldn't even have a job, and they would require someone to take care of them. Asperger's on the other hand is on the autism spectrum, people with asperger's have autistic traits and are highly functioning and don't require someone to take care of them. Perhaps your coworkers are confusing autism with the phrase autistic, there's a big difference.

Do get checked out by a doctor but most likely they won't find anything. I was convinced I was having a heart attack in my 20s until they figured out it was simply extreme anxiety, the fight of flight thing got turned on and didn't switch off and my own morbidity about my mortality keep adding too it. Nothing was wrong with me. It could well be muscle spasms and cramps of obscure muscles in that area, like a Charlie Horse you get in the middle of the night except you can't stand up and stretch it back. I get them on the muscle under my jaw on occasion and in my thumb-wrist area.

As far as the girl, don't get your hopes too high. Most likely she has observed you and her instincts tell her you are AS and she only considers you a friend. Doesn't mean you shouldn't try, but don't get your hopes up too high and be sure to take No for an answer, if you appear to be "stalking" her it will cause major trouble at work. Also, unless your Indian you might not know what you are getting into, most foreign women expect you to support their whole family...if the family doesn't out and out forbid the relationship. This may sound counter intuitive, but your chances of started a romantic relationship with someone who has known you for a long time is low, Asperger traits are a big turn off to women. Your best luck is to get "in" quickly before she realizes what you are, though that is extremely difficult as most of us don't understand the whole "game." I completely understand it from an intellectual level, but when I try it myself I become so focused on my internal anxiety I can't follow any social cues going on around me. Sort of hard to carry on a smooth conversation when your trapped in a coffin with a rattlesnake slithering around on your legs, how I've felt in every social occasion since childhood with someone I am not well acquainted with.

Thank you. I'm guessing the best bet is to get over it, ignore her. Well I don't mean rudely.

As for the pains NightOwl it sounds as if you experience or have the same ones I do? Did you find anything that helped at all?

I used to get the sharp pains in my chest as well. Growing up, everyone thought it was a heart murmur.

Turned out actually to be Gastro-Esophogeal Reflux Disease made worse by anxiety.