Bullying at a Store

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BULLYING AT A STORE

When I am bullied a national chain, it is usually possible to get results when I complain to their headquarters.

This is an account of what happened at an independent store. It is a convenience store/fuel station. I have been bullied by the cashiers numerous times when I went to this store. When I went there on 24 December 2011, this same exact pattern repeated again.

I left home forgetting my wallet. I didn't even have my cell phone with me to call for help when I get into a bad situation. I had my bag with me, and thought that I would have enough coins to pay for what I got. There was a cook on duty. I asked for an egg and cheese sandwich on a roll. I explained to the cook that I forgot my wallet and that I would like to prepay to see if I have enough coins before he begins to make the sandwich. Whenever I try to get through the process of paying the cashiers at this store, they always bully me. I usually pay the dollar figure in paper money. And then the remaining change figure in exact change. I try to pay in exact change to make it easy. If I can just pay the exact total, I can just be done with it, and not have to deal with the interaction that has to happen when trying to get change back from the cashier.

Other than the sandwich I also got an orange juice. The total I had to pay was $3 dollars and 75 cents. Because I forgot my wallet, I had to pay this all in coins. I explained this to the cook when I said I needed to prepay before the sandwich is made. At the time of payment, I explained this to the cashier. As I started to pull out coins. The cashier told me only quarters. No nickels and dimes. Before I began to even pay, I told the cashier I forgot my wallet, and she didn't complain when I said that. There were numerous occasions when I have been bullied by the cashiers when I tried to pay just a fraction of a dollar to get it to exact change. This time I had to pay $3.75 all in coins. I tried to pull out as many quarters as I can find. As I was pulling out coins she was complaining more and more. She told me there are customers waiting and that I will have to do this someplace else. I told her, "I am a customer. I am doing this exactly where I am supposed to be doing this.". I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing, and the cashier was complaining incessantly over nothing, and doing this just to bully me. I am tired of the way I am treated from the previous times I had been to this store. And here it is happening again. I told her to back off and leave me alone. Me just telling her to stop it gave her more to complain about. The cashier said "you really should not go out alone". If I was to agree with that it would be because I need witnesses to be with me. I agree with that to make my case stronger.

This is usually a simple process at other stores. I just lay down the money and it's done with. There isn't a problem. When the cashier starts to complain the instant I pull out coins, this lengthens the process, and then she complains that it is taking too long.

When the cashier is bullying me, I have to stand up for my rights and tell her to stop. This has absolutely no effect on a bully. When I told her to leave me alone, it only pisses her off to say that she is calling the police on me.

It is a very bad situation to be a male and be bullied by a female. It is impossible to tell the woman to stop bullying me. When I am bullied, and I get distressed, the woman twists it around and claims that my distress is something that scares her.

Autistic males get bullied by women. The Autistic person isn't taken seriously. Then woman lies and claims that she is the recipient of aggressive behavior that scares her. What is actually emotional distress from being bullied, a bully reverses it and claims they are the victim.

The majority of Autistics are males. There is a lot I have to say how mothers bully their Autistic sons, but that's for another document.

A bully expects you to follow a lot of ambiguous rules. When rules exist that are not clearly defined and ambiguous, the bully can push the rules more on a target that is likely to be bullied.

There are rules posted on the counter where the checkout cash register is.

Rule #2. "We are not set up to make change"

I try to pay in exact change because of the many problems that can arise when I give a payment that requires change.

Rule #3 "When paying with large amounts of coins; Please have it rolled, write your name and phone number on it and present your ID. We cannot accept it otherwise."

"We have the right to decline very large amounts of coins."

I have had a problem at this store when I have given money and I required to get change back. And now especially since I noticed rule #2, I find it necessary to pay in exact change. I can pay the dollar figure in paper money, and pay the remaining change in coins. But they are very anal about coins. It is possible for them to get pissed off about coins even if I am paying the exact change of a fraction of a dollar.

There are two conflicting rules about not making change, and all of there rules about coins. If I am to obey rule #2, I have to pay in exact change. I have to be able to pay in exact change without any complaints at all about the coins, and I should not have to be bullied.

There is a rule requiring coins to be in rolls. When I was there on 24 December 2011, I had no paper money with me I only had coins. The total to pay was 3.75. A roll of quarters contains ten dollars. If I am paying a total of $3.75, does that really require me to have a ten dollar roll of quarters?

They specify in the rules, that they can require coins to be in rolls, or they can deny large amounts of coins. I don't think $3.75 is a large amount of coins. This will lead to an argument with them about what is and what isn't a large amount of coins. The rule about a large amount of coins is very ambiguous. They don't specify an exact amounts of money that clearly defines exactly what they consider to be large amount of coins. They should specify the exact amount of coins that requires it to be in rolls. They should specify the exact amount of coins that they consider too large to accept at all.

Such rules still will not solve the problems because they can exercise discretion about who they will enforce these rules on.

Even if I should somehow follow ambiguous rules. And even if I should somehow follow contradicting rules, example given, when rule #2 and rule #3 contradict each other. A bully can make up even more rules on the fly off the top of their head.

Is there another store you can go to? I think why beat my head on a brick wall? Some people just don't have the intellect, education, or emotional capacity to deal with people kindly and without prejudice. I try to accept this and forgive as I might like them to forgive my issues.
By the way, I think the rule means they won't make change without a purchase, not that you must pay with exact change.

I wouldn't call this bullying. Certainly it's poor customer service and lousy manners, but every instance of someone being mean to you is not bullying. I agree with the above poster that you should stop shopping there and let the management know why in a letter. You're right in that the process could have been faster if the cashier didn't interrupt while you were looking for the change, but if I knew I had only change to pay for a several dollar purchase, I would have prepared before approaching the register by having the change in my hand and counting it out onto the counter.

I agree with not going back to the store. Those kind of people are not worth your time and money.

Complain to the manager and if that doesn't solve the issue, go to another store.

i would go to another store, unless you live out in the country. i always pay in full cash because i think that actually is less interaction than having to count change.

I work in a store and I love love LOVE the customers who pay exact change! I say write a bad reveiw on Yelp or Yahoo Local warning people about the bad customer service at the store along with complaining to the manager and never going there again!

The rule about coins in rolls is more about pennies. I have never heard of a store that refused to accept nickels and dimes as a matter of policy. But it may be that if you make a $10 purchase for example and you pay $10 in nickels which would be 200 nickels under those circumstances I would not find it unreasonable to have the nickels rolled with your name and ID on it.

In terms of making change that usually refers to someone simply coming in and trying to get change for a dollar or so without buying anything. Some stores have a policy that they can only open the cash register at the time of a purchase. It doesn't mean that you can't get change back if for example you give the cashier a $5 bill for a $3.75 sandwich.

[Moved from Autism Politics, Activism, and Media Representation to Random Discussion]

Hard to know where this one should go, but maybe GAD. Was in Random.

Without being there, it's impossible for me to really offer good advice on that particular situation. But there are a few things that come to mind: Naturally if you have a choice, try another store next time. But as to that particular cook, it might be that he/she has a hard time counting coins, and was scared of being embarrassed or making a mistake and getting in trouble from the boss, and is too immature to handle that. A natural response to that might be to try to bully or ridicule you into not making them take all those coins. Or it might just be that the cook is a bullying or intolerant person, and needs to be avoided until the boss sees it for him/herself and fires them.

Personally, I would NOT recommend filing any complaints with the company. It's more likely to make an enemy for you, and in the long run, your goal is to be treated right, and making an enemy isn't going to go toward that. My attitude might be something like "Well, this place evidently doesn't care about MY business, so I'll go someplace else". I wouldn't say that out loud, but knowing it would make me feel like the one in charge of myself; rather than to go away feeling expelled.

Charles

It would seem that the cashier is terrible and moody. I notice that you don't seem to have much problems with the cook though. You could try to talk to a manager there and have the cook handle the sales portion as well if the store/diner/whatever the place is, is not currently very busy. One of the pubs that I go to has a separate window for take out orders and one can simply pay the cooks and pick up the food or if they like eat in. It's very convenient. As for the cashier, this individual has most likely grown to dislike you and further interactions will always be difficult. As others have suggested if there is no other method of avoiding the cashier I'd agree that going to another store is the best option if at all possible.

Don't know why you keep going back there. I wouldn't go back. It would always be worth your while complaining if it's a bigger chain. For example I complained to the pub chain Wetherspoon's after a waiter made fun of my voice, which deeply offended me, and got a free meal. But this being a small independent store I'd hardly think it's worth it as they're answerable to no-one.

Sounds like a place not to go to anymore.

From Wikipedia (so it must be true):

There is, however, no Federal statute mandating that a private business, a person or an organization must accept currency or coins as for payment for goods and/or services. Private businesses are free to develop their own policies on whether or not to accept cash unless there is a State law which says otherwise. For example, a bus line may prohibit payment of fares in pennies or dollar bills. In addition, movie theaters, convenience stores and gas stations may refuse to accept large denomination currency (usually notes above $20) as a matter of policy.

I'd either find a new, better place to take my business, or shut up and stop complaining.