Having to get over an obsession

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Imagine your special interest is someone you know personally, but that person dumps you/dies/moves out/doesn't want to see you anymore or just less, or a famous person who dies/band that splits up/... Or an extreme example, imagine you LOVE playing a certain instrument/sport but lose an arm in an accident. Really just having to let go of that one thing or person you love the most, just giving examples. How do you deal with this? Because you have no choice but getting over it. Would you become suicidal or be depressed for a long time? How would you get over it?

eeep, don't say anything about my favourite band splitting up. There were fan speculations about it in September, and my PC overheated from overuse because I stayed up fanning all night. I didn't mind the (theoretic) split so much as what caused the speculation though.

As for your inquiry, I totally get you about a close person being your narrow field of interest, I'm glad I'm not the only one. But I really don't think you should change the way you feel if they leave. I mean, what for?

I had to get over my interest in the UK 70s Punk Movement. It started out as a fun thing and I've intended for it to be a fun experiment. It was fun in 2007 and 2008. Midway through 2009, I've realized after a bad Canada Day that it wasn't such a fun thing anymore. I was angry at mainstream society and I've flashed the backward peace sign at a bunch of young adults and teenagers at a school park late that Canada Day afternoon, because my schedule was all out of whack and I didn't have a good time at the park with Barb and that girl who used to be my friend. I was all angry and I said, "Take that, mainstream society!" That girl said, "They're not that bad!" and than walk off on me as fast as she could, because she mistook my meltdown for a "temper tantrum". I've told myself that maybe the Mod thing would work for me in the September of 2009 and much to my surprise, it does. I have much more of a personality now than I did going though any of my stages - Hippie, Austin Powers or Punk for example.

I got diagnosed with mental illness for having 'punk' ideology in 2001, but I still consider my diagnosis a result of talking about my narrow interests to the doctor and not realising it, the problem is people put the label schiz if you blame the system.

As far as people go, well, mostly I just try to forget completely. I've tried drinking, but of course that hasn't worked well at all. It's not exactly intentional, but I usually find some way to convince myself to hate people who have deliberately walked out of my life. Things just seem to turn sour over time, rather than any kind of "healing" others seem to talk about.

Can't say I've ever really had to give up anything else. I do get bored of some interests, and while there are a few I've never returned to, for the most part it's like meeting up with an old friend. Kind of almost like juggling. I guess I tend to do the less dangerous kinds of hobbies, as opposed to my brother, so I don't get too many injuries.

The only way I could deal with it is to find something else to obsess over, something to distract myself. Yes I would be upset about it for a long time - I've been there. Never really able to let it go.

My special intrest has never been another person and even if it was, I'd still have the memory of them when they died. Anyway, when people tell me I have to "get over my obsessions", I tell them they can go procreate with themselves and sever all ties with them. When they come crawing back, wating to be my friend again they better be sencere about their appology. No one has the right to tell me what I can and can't obsess over.

I like.

The only real cure is time. Eventually you essentially forget about why you were obsessed. Maybe you decide your obsession wasn't really that great. Maybe you find a new obsession. Maybe you actually do entirely forget your obsession

Time

^but time takes time:(

In my case, I started hating everything to do with an interest except for the interest itself. The fandom put me off something I'll always still passively like, but I don't seek it out anymore.

Yeah but one day it occurs to you - hey, I'm not obsessed with that anymore. And it feels good in a way, but since you've already been feeling this way, sort of not.

Tiiii-iiiiiiii-iiiiiime, is on your side

If it's a person and I'm turning into a kind of stalker I distance myself, from them, try to forget about them. And try to find another interest.

This is why, whenever I become obsessed with a movie/TV show/book/etc., I never get directly involved with the fandom. Fandom seems to be a double-edged sword: on one hand, it can bring people closer together based on a common interest, but more often than not, it becomes a source of elitism, stupidity and unnecessary drama.

For example, when I was a teenager, I was obsessed with the anime Naruto. But when I found out that the show was gaining a bad reputation due to the stupidity of its fans, I forced myself to quit being a fan so that I could avoid being bullied for liking it.

Similarly, while the cartoon My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic has enjoyed an infamous amount of popularity, I've noticed an increasing amount of backlash against it due to the behavior of some of the bronies. When I first became obsessed with the show back in November, I went all-out and posted ponies everywhere here on WrongPlanet. But when I started becoming more aware of haters, it really killed my enthusiasm for the show. I still enjoy the show to a lesser degree and collect the merchandise, but I try not to talk about it too much anymore outside of a couple of online friends and my family.

If I became deaf and could not hear music I am pretty sure I would off myself no questions asked.....that would be the most hellish thing ever, trapped in my own head with myself cut off from the rest of the world. There really would be no point if that were to happen.

i don't think i ever drop my obsessions ever, well not completely. just things fade in and out based on what i am currently doing what a see in the net and stuff like that.

like i'll browse through youtube and happen upon a fallout 3 video then i'll wind up playing the game afterward.

i never drop an interest just fade it out a bit. like i've liked trains ever sense i was old enough to know what a train is and that still stands. i don't bring them up as much but the interest is still there.

my interests just regulate depending on what i'm doing.