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idlewild
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28 Nov 2011, 10:29 pm

I keep reading about how honest Aspie's are, and I do value honesty, but I'm having a hard time understanding this idea that we don't, or at least rarely, lie. I think this is because I mimic so much that I feel like a liar. The way I present myself in social situations is completely false. It's a facade I've created so I can function in a very social community.

Does anyone else ever feel this way?


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 159 of 200
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You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


dianthus
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28 Nov 2011, 10:40 pm

I do. I don't mimic as much as I used to but I still find myself doing it to some extent. I've realized I mimic the style of the way other people express themselves, but not the content of what they are expressing. So what comes through is still "me" but it's just coming through a filter, mirroring the other person.

I don't lie very well but I have a way of letting people have their assumptions about me. If they get an impression of me being a certain way I don't make a point of setting them straight. I think people will just believe what they want to believe anyway.



pensieve
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28 Nov 2011, 10:44 pm

I mimic hardcore style, like to the point of it not being socially acceptable. I can put on someone's accent and they think I'm making fun of them. Or I just pick up accents of characters on random TV shows. And I hear those accents in other people too. Like once, my sister had the same accent as Captain Jonathan Archer from Star Trek (Scott Bakula).

I can lie too because I don't like to share personal details, it almost impossible too. I can do it but in a monotone or while yelling. I communicate well when I yell.


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Dingus
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29 Nov 2011, 9:28 am

This has been on my mind quite a lot of late.
I've spent all my life to this point mimicking those around me in order to try to fit in. Not knowing that I had Asperger's, I saw mimicking different people/social groups as my way of connecting with people as I would never feel like I could actually truly connect with them.
It's made life pretty difficult and caused so much anxiety/panic attacks/meltdowns until recently.



Dingus
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29 Nov 2011, 9:29 am

Oh, when I wrote 'to this point' I didnt mean for it to sound like that I have stopped.
I'm just aware of what the cause is now. And that has been a huge weight off my shoulders.



ValentineWiggin
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29 Nov 2011, 9:49 am

idlewild wrote:
I keep reading about how honest Aspie's are, and I do value honesty, but I'm having a hard time understanding this idea that we don't, or at least rarely, lie. I think this is because I mimic so much that I feel like a liar. The way I present myself in social situations is completely false. It's a facade I've created so I can function in a very social community.

Does anyone else ever feel this way?


I've developed over the years the ability to sell so many lies convincingly, I think because of mimicking ability.
Sometimes it frightens me, how well I can lie, if I so choose.


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Nikadee43
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11 Jan 2012, 7:14 pm

Dingus wrote:
This has been on my mind quite a lot of late.
I've spent all my life to this point mimicking those around me in order to try to fit in. Not knowing that I had Asperger's, I saw mimicking different people/social groups as my way of connecting with people as I would never feel like I could actually truly connect with them.
It's made life pretty difficult and caused so much anxiety/panic attacks/meltdowns until recently.


I've done this since childhood, and never understood why. I sort of thought it was normal until i reached my teenage years and started having identity issues, which have only gotten worse. I've mimicked so many people to fit in that i don't think i got to know who ky true self was. I adopted all these characteristics and made many decisions based on what i thought others would think or do (or what i thought i was supposed to do). But i executed those decisions awkwardly or without fully realizing the consequences and got myself into some very embarrassing situations. I also think it contributed to what felt/seemed like moodiness because there were times id get so worn out doing it i just couldn't anymore and would shut down or react unusually.

It felt like lieing then at times, and once i realized i may have AS, i felt even more like i was lieing to myself and everyone else. Im trying to let myself be myself more, but when im around certain people or at work sometimes i automatically go back to acting. When i don't people think there's something wrong with me. I can't stand always feeling like i have to act a certain way just to accommodate others.

As far as telling lies to people, i definitely picked that up from watching others. I always feel a little guilty even if it's just a white lie to make someone feel better or to keep from getting in trouble. . It makes me really uncomfortable. In some situations it never even occurred to me that i always"should" lie until my peers told me.