Brother needs to be diagnosed

Post Reply New Topic

Hello Everybody,
I have a 29 year-old older brother whom I suspect has some type of autism spectrum disorder whether it be asperger's or something else. He is very socially awkward, hasn't had many close friends, is very smart, but is obsessed with talk-radio personalities. His social problems have been exacerbated by his emotional problems. He is in therapy and on meds right now, but i don't know what. He was getting his Master's degree when he had some kind of psychological episode and he dropped out and has been living at home ever since. My parents are very sheltered about admitting he has a problem and have been taking care of him. My mother treats him like a child and does everything for him. He wakes up at noon and doesn't leave the house. His social awkwardness has made it difficult for him to find employment. I feel bad because he has been taunted his whole life and has struggled, but I am getting fed up with the lack of progress that his been made. He and my parents see some type of diagnosis as having a stigma, when I feel a diagnosis could be helpful in helping him move forward in life. I was discussing with my mom getting him help or get on disability since both parents are in poor health. He overheard and had an emotional meltdown and was screaming he hated me. I'm at my wits end. I'm not looking down on him I just think he works differently and needs to be helped in a different way. I'm not sure how to approach this. It's really eating away at me since everyone is non-cooperative. Any advice on getting an adult to maybe see they have something, but not having them perceive it negatively.

Thanks!

Hmmm.... That's a difficult situation. There really is very little you can do other than try to introduce this idea, but you've already tried that with poor results.

A few years back, when I had serious concerns about my then husband's mental health I, with his knowledge, spoke to his doctor about my concerns. I was very clear with my husband and the doctor that my intention was not to seek information about him, and obviously the doctor could not share any information with me. What I did do was make an appointment with his GP and set out my concerns, giving specific examples of behaviours which concerned and alarmed me. The outcome of this was that my husband was referred to psychiatric services and then, after I went back to see the GP, moved to the top of the long waiting list.

I don't how you feel about sharing your thoughts with your brother's doctor or therapist, with or without his knowledge.

PlasticGun, it's very hard living in family wherein the obvious is ignored and denied. I've lived in that myself and see it elsewhere.

Likely there is nothing else for you to do about your brother, his diagnosis and lack of professional attention for him. You attempted to open a dialog and were shut down. The next best step is for you to work to accept that your parents & brother like the statisquo. It puts you in a rather lonely place within your family group, but it is what it is. If you also live in the family home, I promise you that whan you become independant and move into your own home, your brother's dependance upon your parents and his isolated static life will feel much less impinging. Aim for that.

You should focus on and worry about your own life instead of focusing on your brother. Maybe your brother is happy where he's at and he doesn't need all the things that typical people his age need.