Regressing After Diagnosis/Self-Diagnosis?

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After the realization that you have Asperger's is it common to go through a period with your coping or mimicking skills are more difficult? I'm having a more difficult time lately and I'm wondering if it's because I'm giving myself permission to act naturally, now that I know why I act the way I do.

Is it normal to relax back into Aspie traits and have a more difficult time with coping after a diagnosis/self-diagnosis?

putting on a normal act all the time can be very exhausting to me so I stopped putting on an act and actually feel better.

Over the past year I have been pushing myself really hard to be social and do things that are very difficult to me. It feels like a huge relief to know that my difficulty isn't because I'm not behaving normally, but that my normal is different from other people's normal.

I've definitely been acting a lot more "aspie-ish" since my self-diagnosis several months ago. My girlfriend even commented that she never saw any obvious stims before but has noticed several now. Oddly, I've also noticed that my sense of smell has been greatly heightened. I used to think my sense of smell was very weak, but now I can't stand my coworker's lotion she likes to use and have had to leave my desk to escape the smell on a couple occasions.

Whether this is due to me giving myself "permission" (thanks for the terminology. I've been trying to find a way to express this) to act more naturally, or whether it's due to some kind of subconscious "faking," I am still trying to figure out. I had hoped that getting an official diagnosis would help me sort this out, but if anything, I've struggled with this question even more in the month and a half since my diagnosis.

All that aside, I understand that it is supposed to be common for people to regress some after a diagnosis.

Yes it's been happening for me, the last couple of weeks since I realized I may have AS. Especially after I started posting here and realized other people deal with a lot of the same things I do. It makes me let my guard down. I'm finding it harder than ever to "put my face on" when I go to work. Today I was stuttering a lot, the words are there in my mind and I think them clearly but I can't get them out.

It's weird to realize how much energy it takes to do all those "normal" things...like talking and walking No wonder I feel exhausted most of the time.

I seem to have carried on just being me lol

It can happen. I experienced a kind of regression because once I accepted it, I stopped putting on an act, as Radiofixr mentioned.

I think others have described various levels of this - from just dropping the attempts at normalcy to actually appearing more autistic for a time. Sometimes both.

I'm totally nodding in agreement. Good observation, Idlewild. I have to say, that all the "trying harder" before finding out about AS didn't make me any closer to "NT"... and as long as I'm not fooling anyone anyway... may as well just relax a bit, and the behaviors come out more.

I regressed 2 years after diagnosis. But it was more of the cognitive kind - I went back about 10 years and had to learn skills all over again. I do feel more relaxed now that I know I'm autistic and don't try to hide my behaviour. Being aware of symptoms and building your own productive routines can be a great way to deal with your symptoms, especially the poor organisation kind.

I definitely feel some regression since my diagnosis in the summer. I feel more self conscious when I am doing things I was already doing to cope, as if I am now understanding it. Like the eye contact thing; I have always only really ever looked subtley between peoples eyes, but now I am more self conscious doing that, then I look at the persons eyes, then end up looking away entirely. I also find pointless chitchat more challenging because I am trying to notice social cues, so that I don't run on, or whatever, but I lose my train of thought more or forget what I was going to say. I am trying to view this minor regression as part of developing better skills for functioning in NT mode (when I need to), although I am not 100% convinced.

Good, I thought it was only me. As since I self-diagnosed a few months back, I have been getting more noticeable stems and acting more like my autistic little brother. Not saying I haven't acted similar to him beforehand, but now it's more prominent. Of course, I have stimmed as far back as I can remember, But at that time I thought it was because I was not active enough. But no one else ever stimmed... so...

I found out I was transsexual a few years back, and just by watching one video I knew instantly that it fit me to a T. the same thing happened to me with aspergers a few months back. The difference is that I cannot go to anyone and say I have it because I am not officially diagnosed.

Is it to do with 'trying out' where your true identity lays? Sort of experimenting with what works, as though aiming to create a balance between being true to ourselves and making the effort to fit in where appropriate. Just a thought.

My diagnoses came in September and I feel the same way for the most part, though I have been forcing myself to make eye contact for as long as I can remember (it's still nowhere near natural, as I still look away when I'm thinking). Let's hope we level out somewhere.

I read it the first time, thanks, that not only I have fears of "faking it" (perhaps, I haven't read enough ). I'm looking forward to discuss the results of my evaluation in a week with the psychs, I can hardly wait...

Back to the topic, I also experienced regression for the same reasons described in the previous posts. I've just finished reading "Be Different", and in the last chapters the author expresses his thoughts upon having a diagnosis quite well, IMO. So, on one hand, knowledge is power that you have to exploit it to the utmost. Not at all easy, but feasible. On the other hand, there's always the risk of victimizing yourself. I know perfectly how it goes. I have had lots of sad moments about this, and have cried hell of a lot because of it, and I'm male...

I believe if you do your best, eventually the positive side will prevail. However, it requires effort, time and patience.

Last edited by OJani on 02 Dec 2011, 10:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

That's part of my theory, as well. I did some of it consciously, actually. For example, rocking is not one of my stims, so I tried it at work once. It was alarmingly effective: I dozed off after about 2 minutes.

I think herein lies the heart of it. How do we measure what our personal "best" is?

If we gauge it by what the people around us tell us should be our best, we will find ourselves woefully inadequate. I can't speak for others, but I know that I can't really gauge for myself what my "best" is either...yet. So, I think this regression is a way to try measuring our own abilities, and is a necessary step in finding out what our "best" really is. To find out out what we are truly capable of.