Stimming getting out of control

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Hello-

I am the mom of a wonderful 6 yo little boy on the spectrum. He is fairly high functioning---he was diagnosed as PDD-NOS when he was 2.5 yrs old. He seems to be more like Asperger's as time goes on. He is fully verbal and is reading above grade level. He has always flapped his hands and did verbal stimming which consists of random noise making and repeating words and phrases over and over. In the last 6 mos, he has started hitting himself in the head, and putting his fingers in his mouth and making popping sounds with his tongue. He seems to be flapping more and more and making strange faces when he does it. He is able to keep this under control for the most part at school, but at home, it seems like it is getting more and more out of control. The more we try to get him to try and control it, the worse it gets. I can handle it to some degree, but sometimes it just gets to be too much. We can barely ever watch anything on tv (even a show he likes) because he gets sooooooo loud. I really don't even watch a lot of tv, but sometimes I just want to scream because he is so loud. Whenever my husband comes home from work, we can't even have a conversation because my son just starts up being as loud as he possibly can. We have told him that he can go to his room and be as LOUD as he wants to, but he doesn't want that. He wants to stay in the room with us. It is like he is purposely trying to annoy us. I truly love my son, but some nights, I am just so ready for him to go to bed so that I can have a little bit of quiet.

My question is this. Will he outgrow any of this? Is there anything we can do to try and get it to subside some? Or do we need to just accept that this is what he is going to do, and deal with it? I

I think that you will just have to wait for him to outgrow this, which he will. I did the same sort of thing when I was around 8 years old, and it annoyed everyone around me. There was nothing that could have stopped the weird snorting noises that I constantly made for months, and all attempts to interfere only made it worse. However, the good thing from this is that you now have an opportunity to empathize with your son. What you feel when his noises bother you is what he feels all the time in a world of overwhelming sensory stimulation.

That is a good point, although it seems that my son actually craves loud noises. He loves riding around with me in the car listening to rock and roll music, and he always asks me to turn it up. He actually enjoys fireworks and one time when our smoke detector went off, he wanted to hear it again. So I don't know. Maybe it is other sensory issues that are bothering him other than sounds. He has recently started plugging his ears when I go in and out of the door to the garage, but since I am aware of it, I purposely close the door as lightly as I can.

Everyone really likes and really dislikes certain noises, I think, regardless of being autistic or not. Like Tic Tacs. Are those to be eaten? I thought that they were only to be shaken in their little boxes to make their delightful ticky-tacky noises. The sensory hypersensitivity that I consider the most insidious is not something like hating a specific noise or perceiving a specific noise as really loud and painful, e.g. garage door noise, but more like a constant barrage of all kinds of noises at once for an extended period of time, a bit like your son's noises at home, except more different ones from every direction.

You are absolutely right on that one---there is one certain frequency of noise that he makes that makes me want to pull my hair out. I just don't know, we are trying to teach him manners, and when he is interrupting us with his loud noises, or when we visit other people and they are trying to watch a tv show and he is running in front of the tv making noises that it is rude. Also, sometimes even when he is watching a show that he wants to watch, he will make the noises to the show. We tell him that if he can't be quiet and watch the show that we will have to turn it off. He is not even watching the show, but if we turn it off, he will throw a fit. I understand if he needs to do these things to help regulate himself, but it seems like there should be a time and place for it. I hope I don't sound like a mean parent, but I just want to teach him the right way to behave.

I used to make frog noises in my throat. He will probably grow out of it or it will just hit for him when he realises how annoying it must be to other people. Think of his brain going on auto pilot when it happens. I still get like that. Most of it is winding down from stress or simply being hyper. But it might be out of his control to stop.
If it started to become more noticeable after he stopped it at school it's probably because he is just waiting to get home to do it. I know, not a good stim for a classroom full of kids. Maybe you can try and convince him to change it to something less annoying. Stacking blocks?

Sorry it's irritating you. But don't look at it like he is purposely being annoying. It sounds like he has a lot of energy and likes being around you guys. He could be the opposite and you would still want to correct his behaviour.

I actually have a nephew, aged 6, who is energetic and talks a lot and quotes Mario over and over again. Not sure if he is AS or ADHD but I can kind of see what you're going through.

When I was a little kid I would make a lot of repetitive noise and the more attention I got (more people complained) the more I kept going.

Does he like playing sports? Maybe he needs an outlet for his energy. That's the best I've got.

He might be doing it somewhat consciously because he wants attention (plus having to hold it I all day at school)
I think it is okay to tell him that you and your husband wish to talk or watch TV and to please go into his room.

Please Note: I am not a parent. I have lived life on the spectrum

Have you looked into a product that is for tv watching, it is a pair of headphones that make it possible for one person to watch tv and they are the only one that hears it, OR you can have the tv on so everyone can hear it, but the person wearing the headphones can still hear it and they cannot hear other conversations or interruptions in the room.

My uncle has some, and I tried them over the christmas holiday. I found that it was great for making his constant viewing of football a silent activity for my aunt and other family members. When I tried wearing the headphones myself, it felt wonderful because I could focus on the program without having to tune out the sounds of the house (clocks ticking or washers running or whatever) and I didnt get irritated about my show being interrupted (My own sounds, or conversations with a tv are a stress reliever for me, so it may look like your son is NOT watching his show, but honestly sometimes I "watch" shows and don't look at the tv. I even listen to shows from another room sometimes because hearing it is the only level of interaction I am interested in at that time.)

To me, it sounds like hitting himself in the head is a negative way of getting his anxiety out, so I would try other methods of allowing him to relieve his need to do this. For instance, at school do they help him with pressure? As in, a weighted vest or a weighted blanket. Those could also be used at home. Some people also weight their stuffed animals, by filling a regular stuffed animal with a couple pounds of plastic pellets from the craft store. He could be allowed to watch tv with a toy like that to help him act better because he would be less stressed.

Transitions are difficult for many on the spectrum, so maybe the moment your husband comes home from work is difficult for your son? Could you possibly warn your of the time when it is 15 minutes before your husband comes home, and then again when it is five minutes before he comes home? That way he can start to mentally get ready for that to happen instead of it just being a surprise.

Also maybe he could be allowed to greet your husband and tell both of you about one thing he wants to talk about for five minutes (set a timer) and then if he does that, he could have a snack or something else in the other room for half an hour or however long you need to discuss the day with your husband.

These are just ideas that sprung to mind, I am just speaking from my experience of being on the spectrum and having seen special needs students with an occupational therapist in an elementary school. Hope you get some results soon!

I used to make sounds with my tongue and get really loud and run around as a kid because I had a huge amount of hyperactivity. I somewhat grew out of it, but even now in my mid-20's I am hyper and talkative at times. He'll probably outgrow most of his behavior. Maybe you can find an outlet for all that energy?

Thanks for all of the replies, there are some good suggestions here. I totally agree, he has a lot of energy and needs to get it out one way or another. However, he is not interested in team sports in the least, he does not really like to play with other children, and I don't really push it too much. I do like to take him to the inside gyms where he can climb and run around, and try to get some energy out too. I like to take him for walks when the weather permits because he enjoys that too. I know some of it relates to boredom, because he is really not interested in a lot other than talking about car makes and models. I try to get him interested in books or games, but alot of times he is hard to engage in activities. He has never played like a normal child. Even though he LOVES cars, and has tons of little toy ones, he RARELY plays with them.

Sometimes he will sit and draw for awhile and he does have to do his homework each afternoon. He is doing okay at school with not being too disruptive, so I guess that makes sense that he is storing it all up for home. I just wish there was some physical activity I could get him into. I had hopes that he might get into swimming, because he enjoys the swimming pool, but last summer, he developed a thing that he does not want his hair to get wet in the swimming pool. He is okay with getting it washed because he doesn't want to get bugs in his hair LOL! , but forget about it in the swimming pool. He does enjoy running, but when he runs, he flaps his hands, which is okay, but I try to show him how to run with his arms swinging by his side. His dad likes to run too, so maybe that is something we could work on when he gets a little bigger.

Right now, all of these things can be pretty annoying, but the one I am getting the most concerned about now is the sudden need to put his fingers in his mouth all of the time. He went through this a couple of years ago, and we worked through that one, and now here it is again. We keep telling him that it spreads germs and that he can get sick doing this, but he just can't seem to stop.

Oh well, overall, he is doing really well, I guess all of these things just go with the territory! Thanks again for all of your input!

Maybe a squeeze ball for school? which works the hand and fingers. Even some business people keep this on their desk and might do this while talking on the phone.

Would probably need to get permission from the teacher. And if another student asked why was he allowed to use it when other people (presumably) aren't, perhaps the teacher could make some general statement like 'neurologic condition.'

Great idea. Right now he is in a special class of 7 high functioning kids, which is perfect because he is learning and getting one on one attention without the distraction of 20+ kids. He is in 1st grade and is reading above grade level, and he is making 100's on every spelling test. So, academically, I am not as worried----it is the social stuff that has me concerned. He does go to general ed for music, art and physical ed, so he is integrated with the other kids for some things.

Anyway, thanks for the ideas, and the squeeze ball sounds like a good one!