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i am an aspie trapped in the neurotypical world, how?

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gyaspie
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17 Jan 2012, 9:34 am

i am an aspie trapped in the neurotypical world, what should i do? :(



mv
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17 Jan 2012, 9:39 am

All you can do is get on with life. "Life" is never going to change to suit you or accommodate you.

I've been doing this for 44 years. You need to find your joy where you can and just suck it up, otherwise. I wish I could give you more uplifting information than that.



DanRaccoon
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17 Jan 2012, 10:01 am

I agree with mv. The world will always be neurotypical and full of "normies" so the best thing is to learn how to deal with it. It'll get easier as you get older and you start to understand more of the world, just need patience and perseverance. either that or wait for NASA to improve and live on Mars.


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17 Jan 2012, 12:13 pm

I am wondering the same thing, and somehow the advice just deal with it and suck it up does not seem to help.


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Dunnyveg
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17 Jan 2012, 12:47 pm

gyaspie wrote:
i am an aspie trapped in the neurotypical world, what should i do? :(


Yes, society belongs to the sociable. But I seceded from that world long ago. The trick is to realize that we all hold the key to the prison we find ourselves in. The hard part is finding our own niches, which will obviously be different for each aspie.

I have yet to have anybody try to stop me from living my life to fit my needs.



ghostar
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17 Jan 2012, 1:06 pm

Dunnyveg wrote:
gyaspie wrote:
i am an aspie trapped in the neurotypical world, what should i do? :(


Yes, society belongs to the sociable. But I seceded from that world long ago. The trick is to realize that we all hold the key to the prison we find ourselves in. The hard part is finding our own niches, which will obviously be different for each aspie.

I have yet to have anybody try to stop me from living my life to fit my needs.


I agree with Dunnyveg. We just have to learn how to work within the NT box without letting the NT box work within us. :)



camelCase
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17 Jan 2012, 1:35 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
I am wondering the same thing, and somehow the advice just deal with it and suck it up does not seem to help.


I think "suck it up and deal with it" is often a deflection technique. "I have no meaningful advice, so rather than looking ignorant, I will make you feel bad to boost my ego." I doubt it is something done consciously, but I do not think many people are all that conscious.



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17 Jan 2012, 1:39 pm

camelCase wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
I am wondering the same thing, and somehow the advice just deal with it and suck it up does not seem to help.


I think "suck it up and deal with it" is often a deflection technique. "I have no meaningful advice, so rather than looking ignorant, I will make you feel bad to boost my ego." I doubt it is something done consciously, but I do not think many people are all that conscious.


It hurts, but it's true to an extent.

Everyone has their own ways of coping, no one can sit back and tell you exactly what you need to do. Some people might be able to help a bit for various reasons, but there is no little golden nugget that will solve peoples problems.


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ghostar
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17 Jan 2012, 1:45 pm

abacacus wrote:
camelCase wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
I am wondering the same thing, and somehow the advice just deal with it and suck it up does not seem to help.


I think "suck it up and deal with it" is often a deflection technique. "I have no meaningful advice, so rather than looking ignorant, I will make you feel bad to boost my ego." I doubt it is something done consciously, but I do not think many people are all that conscious.


It hurts, but it's true to an extent.

Everyone has their own ways of coping, no one can sit back and tell you exactly what you need to do. Some people might be able to help a bit for various reasons, but there is no little golden nugget that will solve peoples problems.


Well said.



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17 Jan 2012, 2:08 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
I am wondering the same thing, and somehow the advice just deal with it and suck it up does not seem to help.

Same. I feel worse when people tell me to suck it up. I had a psych ask me why I'd made suicide attempts in the past. I told her something along the lines of the OP and she told me to suck it up, I instantly had a meltdown in her office. Just remembering that incident makes me kinda feel suicidal, because I really feel extremely rejected by the world. I'm sorry to be so pessimistic, because I know people hate pessimistic people. So i try not to be but I have really bad luck or something, because even asking other people for help ends up hurting me sometimes.


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17 Jan 2012, 2:25 pm

Angel_ryan wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
I am wondering the same thing, and somehow the advice just deal with it and suck it up does not seem to help.

Same. I feel worse when people tell me to suck it up. I had a psych ask me why I'd made suicide attempts in the past. I told her something along the lines of the OP and she told me to suck it up, I instantly had a meltdown in her office. Just remembering that incident makes me kinda feel suicidal, because I really feel extremely rejected by the world. I'm sorry to be so pessimistic, because I know people hate pessimistic people. So i try not to be but I have really bad luck or something, because even asking other people for help ends up hurting me sometimes.


Some of these people should not be in their profession but decided it would be the easiest course to take in college.



camelCase
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17 Jan 2012, 4:59 pm

This discussion brings me back to my thoughts on the whole "theory of mind" thing. I seriously doubt it is actually that NT people are good at predicting/reading thoughts, motivations, etc. As far as I can see, it is more like NT people are programmed to deal only with NT people. They are probably less capable of understanding people who are different than them than folks with ASD.



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17 Jan 2012, 5:01 pm

ghostar wrote:
abacacus wrote:
camelCase wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
I am wondering the same thing, and somehow the advice just deal with it and suck it up does not seem to help.


I think "suck it up and deal with it" is often a deflection technique. "I have no meaningful advice, so rather than looking ignorant, I will make you feel bad to boost my ego." I doubt it is something done consciously, but I do not think many people are all that conscious.


It hurts, but it's true to an extent.

Everyone has their own ways of coping, no one can sit back and tell you exactly what you need to do. Some people might be able to help a bit for various reasons, but there is no little golden nugget that will solve peoples problems.


Well said.


All I am gathering from this is really that when someone says "suck it up," they are simply devoid of meaningful insight. It is just strange to me that they can't admit that, or simply say "I don't know how to help."

Do people REALLY think that if I knew how to happy, I'd choose to be f*****g miserable? Idiots.



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17 Jan 2012, 5:30 pm

camelCase wrote:

Do people REALLY think that if I knew how to happy, I'd choose to be f***ing miserable? Idiots.


I can happy sometimes, but not at will. I'm miserable sometimes, and antidepressants in the winter make that a lot less of the time. Happy has to sneak up on me from behind, and hug me while I'm just putting one foot in front of the other. Sitting around _being_ miserable is not the way to invite happy. I have to put in quite a bit of "one foot in front of the other", doing the next thing, before happy can catch me.


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17 Jan 2012, 9:36 pm

abacacus wrote:
camelCase wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
I am wondering the same thing, and somehow the advice just deal with it and suck it up does not seem to help.


I think "suck it up and deal with it" is often a deflection technique. "I have no meaningful advice, so rather than looking ignorant, I will make you feel bad to boost my ego." I doubt it is something done consciously, but I do not think many people are all that conscious.


It hurts, but it's true to an extent.

Everyone has their own ways of coping, no one can sit back and tell you exactly what you need to do. Some people might be able to help a bit for various reasons, but there is no little golden nugget that will solve peoples problems.


I was not aware my disagreement with that particular advice indicated I feel there is a golden nugget that will solve peoples problems.......now if we were talking about a green nugget I might consider it but that is a topic for another thread.


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camelCase
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17 Jan 2012, 9:54 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
abacacus wrote:
camelCase wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
I am wondering the same thing, and somehow the advice just deal with it and suck it up does not seem to help.


I think "suck it up and deal with it" is often a deflection technique. "I have no meaningful advice, so rather than looking ignorant, I will make you feel bad to boost my ego." I doubt it is something done consciously, but I do not think many people are all that conscious.


It hurts, but it's true to an extent.

Everyone has their own ways of coping, no one can sit back and tell you exactly what you need to do. Some people might be able to help a bit for various reasons, but there is no little golden nugget that will solve peoples problems.


I was not aware my disagreement with that particular advice indicated I feel there is a golden nugget that will solve peoples problems.......now if we were talking about a green nugget I might consider it but that is a topic for another thread.


Everything in this world is so loaded. You cannot disagree with popular wisdom without someone assuming you must hold the most popular wrong answer.