Questions. Imagination and escaping into your own world

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I am a 20 year old girl, I was diagnosed with AS at 18. Ever since I was in grade 5, I can remember creating characters in my head, and "living as them" though out the day. They would have a story and a world separate from mine. I was not in their world. Its like a daydream, where I play as a different person, but the same daydream can last for years. Getting older, it got a lot more advanced. More characters developed, different stories and different worlds. It is not like creating a novel because my worlds, or "stories", do not have an end in mind. They are life. they keep going, they gather memories, they move forward everyday.

I currently have 3 worlds that I can escape to throughout the day, with dozens of created characters. A couple characters from each world are "playable" and many other characters interact with my playable characters but are not playable themselves. The worlds are like different dimensions from each other, they cannot access each other and they cannot access me. I can still function in everyday life, but my head is in these worlds about 50-75% of the day. The world I have been in the longest, started about 7 years ago. Other worlds I created when I was a child, I no longer go to.

Growing up, not knowing that I had AS, I assumed that maybe everyone did it, and it wasn't something that was worth mentioning. When I was diagnosed, me and my mother were researching different aspergers traits and we came across an online blog written by a girl with AS who experiences this. That was the moment I realized it was not normal. At the time, I could not bring myself to tell other people about the characters and stories because I felt they were too personal to talk about. In recent months I have been talking to my mother, a couple friends, a neuro-science university student, and my councellor about it. Now, I am wondering how common this is, because no one I've talked to has been able to put a name to it. I wonder if this is something that is very rare, OR if many people with AS do this, but have not come forward talking about it.

If you experience something similar to what I experience, I want to know:

-would you describe it as being "your other world" that you escape to?
-Are there people in the world?
-If there are people, have you developed them to have separate characteristics from yourself?
-Do you make yourself as a character in the other world?
-What point of view do you see the world? are you seeing it from the characters point of view OR watching over the characters.
-If your world does not have people in it, what is in it?
-Do your worlds follow the same laws of nature/physics etc. as earth?
-How much time do you spend each day in your other world?
-Does stimming and movement (ex. pacing around the house) help you to get into the other world?
-If there is more than one character in your world, do you create them to have a wide variety of different personality types?
-If you have come forward to someone about your world, do they often assume it might be a multiple personality disorder?
-If you've told people about it, how do they react?
-If you have not told anyone about it, why not?
-How long have you been in your other world? years, months?
-Do you have more than one other world?

Feel free to add anything more about your world, or ask me any questions about how I experience mine.

I've created characters since I was a toddler. Currently, I have five main characters that I've developed for many, many years. They are cartoon characters I draw, as well, so that is why they look/seem/feel so "real" to me. I retreat to playing as them in my mind when bored most of the time. Their "world" is no different than ours, though. When I'm not playing scenarios with my characters, my mind drifts to my special interest TV shows and movies. Often, I'll just "re-live" scenes from these in my head in the background of my thinking. Something will trigger me to think of a specific scene, and then I'll just find myself doing the rest of the episode/movie for many more minutes before I "switch" back into reality.

The only people who know about my "pretending" (that's what my mom called my imaginative roles/talking to myself when I was a kid) are my mother and my best friend. And the only one who knows full details about what I do is my best friend, and that's because she does the exact same thing. She's not AS, though; she has undiagnosed BPD and OCD/panic attacks. It's both of our "escapes," though, and how we deal with our OCD and anxiety.

I have always done this, though I was not diagnosed as Aspie until age 29.

Some of my "other worlds" have similar physical laws to our own, some are completely different. Also, I am a character in some of them and am simply an outside observer in others.

I'll answer your questions as presented:

would you describe it as being "your other world" that you escape to?
Worlds. I suppose so. I don't know if I am escaping so much, rather it's just something that has always existed - either as just other characters existing in my head, or as an entire world. Unlike yourself, I DO link it to my writing (in some cases), even though the characters live on in my head beyond the story they may be written into.
-Are there people in the world?
Yes. They are primarily character driven.
-If there are people, have you developed them to have separate characteristics from yourself?
Yes. I have dozens of them.
-Do you make yourself as a character in the other world?
Not usually. In one instance, the 'main' character in one of the worlds originated in a series of dreams I had when he rescued me (odd, huh? ) and so I do exist in that version of the world. However, he has influenced the creation of other characters. I suppose this makes him my permanent muse.
-What point of view do you see the world? are you seeing it from the characters point of view OR watching over the characters.
Both, but it depends on what I am using them for. If they are just existing in my head, alongside my day (so to speak) then they tend to pop up in my head and comment on what's going on, so they are very much themselves, and I am 'watching over them' (though I guess we are interacting, in a way, since they are commenting). If I am imagining them so I can work out what I am writing next in my book, then I can choose between stepping back and seeing the big picture, or getting into their heads to 'be' them. I think this latter version is common for writers, but because I am a very visual thinker, I don't just imagine them on paper, I imagine them in 3D.
-If your world does not have people in it, what is in it?
N/A. Unless you wish for me to speak about non-human characters.
-Do your worlds follow the same laws of nature/physics etc. as earth?
Some do, some don't.
-How much time do you spend each day in your other world?
The majority, really. Even if I am not focusing on them (for fun, or for my writing) they are always buzzing there in the background.
-Does stimming and movement (ex. pacing around the house) help you to get into the other world?
Absolutely. But I pace when I am trying to sort out a plot point in my book too, so I see it as the same thing: physical movement to produce thought - which is well covered in many books on creativity.
-If there is more than one character in your world, do you create them to have a wide variety of different personality types?
Absolutely. I have a whole spectrum, with different ages, and different personalities.
-If you have come forward to someone about your world, do they often assume it might be a multiple personality disorder?
No, but only for two reasons: either they are in a fandom I participate in (e.g. Harry Potter) where it's common to spend time in another world in our heads, so they assume it's along the same lines, or the people know of my writing. It's accepted writers are eccentric.
-If you've told people about it, how do they react?
See above.
-If you have not told anyone about it, why not?
I don't tell people I don't trust would understand, either because they've proven themselves not to understand other eccentricities, or because I know them in a professional capacity only. Also, it can be tiring sharing things so personal, and expecting others to understand. Also, in a way, it's 'my' world, and they are 'my' people, so I don't want to share too much of that. I don't know if that even makes sense. It's like, in the instance of the worlds that become stories (and eventually novels), I accept, and feel fine about the story they are involved in being known by the people who would read the stories, but I would be less inclined to reveal other things I know about the characters, that go beyond the stories. In a way, it's like the stories are plays the characters are acting out, and their lives exist beyond that.
-How long have you been in your other world? years, months?
Oh, since I was a very small child. I've always had an active imagination. My worlds have changed, and sometimes some will be dropped entirely and others will come into play instead.
-Do you have more than one other world?
Yes. I currently have about half a dozen.

Hope this helps. I'm happy to discuss more if you wish.

Yes, I definitely experience something very similar to what you experience, only it seems it is a lot easier for me than it is for you. Sometimes I escape completely into my "other world," while at other times I weave my imaginary world into reality when appropriate. When I want to discuss topics with myself, several characters "appear," maybe 3 to 5 depending on the topic, and we can have long discussions about whatever piques my interest.

In the worlds I create, I am always a character in it along with other characters, and I can switch easily between characters while the story is in progress. Sometimes I create these characters myself, but characters create themselves more often than not. The characters that create themselves are usually patterned from someone I know or admire. I can sometimes violate the laws of physics in my world, but that takes effort, so I don't do that very often.

My "other world" is always running whether I'm in it or not, but I'm in it more often than not. I don't need outside stimuli to enter it, but sometimes I need an attention-getter to exit, such as an alarm clock. Each character is a part of my psyche, so I do have a multiple personality disorder of sorts. However, unlike Dissociative Identity Disorder, which is what most people think of when they consider multiple personalities, I have what could best be called Associative Identity Disorder. I am completely aware of my surroundings and the other "selves," my "waking self" is in full control, and I can even change my other "selves" when I feel it is appropriate. I know the difference between fantasy and reality, and I know what elements of my worlds fit into which category. I usually don't change anything about my other "selves," though, because I find it more interesting to see how they develop on their own.

My "other world" has been running ever since I can remember, certainly since childhood, and it has had literally hundreds (if not thousands) of different "selves" in it. I did a head count one day when I was in high school, before I knew I had AS, and counted 110 "selves," including my "waking self." I took another head count while I was in college, and came up with 243. Today many of the "selves" I had while I was in school have gone away, so to speak, because I no longer needed or was no longer interested in them, and others have replaced them as needed or desired. While I could theoretically have an unlimited number of "selves," I like to keep the head count at 100 or less so I can keep track of them more easily. But occasionally one of the "selves" I abandoned years ago surfaces by itself for some reason, so maybe I have never completely gotten rid of any of them.

I don't have more than one "other world," but I can change my "other world" to any setting I have ever seen, heard or read about. Sometimes I like to explore other settings in great depth, and have played a number of fictitious celebrities and other interesting characters in a wide variety of professions and interests. I have been in movies and on TV and Broadway, I have been the leader of several different countries, and I have been in more mundane settings I have been interested in exploring. My latest fantasy world takes place in a mental institution for the criminally insane, where I play psychiatrists, guards, and an interesting array of patients.

My most interesting patient in the aforementioned institution to date is an eight-year-old girl who killed her brother and father when her teddy bear was taken from her one night, and she would have killed her mother as well if she hadn't had her wits about her and given it back. She has no memory of the event, and to this day she still wonders why she is incarcerated and often restrained, even though she has never caused any major trouble while in the institution. It frustrates her to no end that the shrinks and other so-called experts don't believe her when she says she doesn't remember anything. There are many other details I could share, but I think you get the idea.

I have told two other people about my fantasy world to date. One was my mother (God rest her soul), and the other is a mother of two autistic children who has shared with me what it is like to take care of them. Her older child has told her about people who aren't there, and was curious to know if I had any experiences along that line, so I shared a few things about my fantasy world. Now I have told hundreds of others. - LJS

-would you describe it as being "your other world" that you escape to?

Yes, very much. I often feel like I'm living a double life - one in the physical world and a separate one in my imaginary world. My imaginary world is called Aspergeria.

-Are there people in the world?

Yes.

-If there are people, have you developed them to have separate characteristics from yourself?

Well, I didn't develop them myself, because with the exception of the character who is based on myself (my "playable character") I didn't create any of the other characters in my world - they are all taken from my favorite movies, cartoons and books.

-Do you make yourself as a character in the other world?

Yes. My character, who shares my first name of Alex, dresses like a flamboyant Victorian-era gentleman despite being female. Though she shares many of my real-life personality traits, such as being moody, neurotic and childlike, she is beloved by the people of Aspergeria. Everyone is her friend there. The women seem especially fond of her, and they frequently flirt with her. However, Alex is in a long-term, committed relationship with Alice Kingsleigh (who was taken from the Tim Burton movie version of Alice in Wonderland).

-What point of view do you see the world? are you seeing it from the characters point of view OR watching over the characters.

I usually see it like I'm watching a television show or movie (so like I'm "watching over" the characters).

-If your world does not have people in it, what is in it?

Though my world does have people in it, it also has talking animals (from the cartoons I watch), as well as humanoid beings such as vampires (not from Twilight), ghosts, androids, people made of candy (again, from some of the cartoons I watch), among other beings I'm probably forgetting to mention.

-Do your worlds follow the same laws of nature/physics etc. as earth?

No - it's pretty magical, I think.

-How much time do you spend each day in your other world?

The majority of my waking hours.

-Does stimming and movement (ex. pacing around the house) help you to get into the other world?

Yes, definitely. Whenever I want to get really lost in my world, I put on my iPod and either pace or run around. Swimming also helps (though of course I can't listen to music while I do that).

-If there is more than one character in your world, do you create them to have a wide variety of different personality types?

As I've said before, I don't create the characters, but take them from my favorite movies, cartoons and books. Since they come from all different types of worlds, I would say that they are very diverse. It's amazing that they all get along so well (usually).

-If you have come forward to someone about your world, do they often assume it might be a multiple personality disorder?

Nobody's ever told me that before.

-If you've told people about it, how do they react?

My mom has always known about my imaginary world, and she accepts it completely as part of who I am. So does my younger brother. My older sisters and dad know that I have an imaginary world, but I never divulge the full details of it to them out of fear that they won't accept it.

One of my real-life friends also knows all the secrets to my imaginary world, and she even has her own world. But she seems to get bored whenever I talk about my own world, because unlike her world, mine is based on existing characters and doesn't have a solid storyline or ending.

I've mentioned my world to the different mental health professionals I've seen throughout my life. At best they think it's a creative coping skill, and at worst they think I'm too lonely and need more real-life friends.

-If you have not told anyone about it, why not?

N/A

-How long have you been in your other world? years, months?

I've "lived" in my current world, Aspergeria, for 2 years. I had different, unnamed worlds when I was a child and teenager that were inhabited by different characters than the ones in Aspergeria. I don't go to those worlds anymore.

-Do you have more than one other world?

No.

OddDuckNash99:

I like how you describe your characters as being "real" to you. I feel the same way about my main characters as well. They are not physically real in this world, but they are as real as real can be to me.
I find it interesting that your friend does it too. I dont know anyone in my real life who also does it. I myself have a bad anxiety disorder and I do use my worlds to cope with it as well. I have characters who have anxiety disorders, and I have characters who are better at coping and more assertive and positive. So in times of anxiety in my life, I find myself going to these characters. I may put them in a different situation, but something I'd think would cause the same amount of anxiety I feel. The characters can then help each other out. I think its a way of easing my anxiety when I'm alone.

[quote="Carbon_4"]


-would you describe it as being "your other world" that you escape to? Not quite, but almost.



-Are there people in the world? Yes

-If there are people, have you developed them to have separate characteristics from yourself?Yes


-Do you make yourself as a character in the other world?Yes

-What point of view do you see the world? are you seeing it from the characters point of view OR watching over the characters. I see it from the chracter's point of view.

-If your world does not have people in it, what is in it? It does have people, but these worlds are mostly based on video games and movies, so the 'non-humans' part depends on what world it is in.

-Do your worlds follow the same laws of nature/physics etc. as earth? Yes

-How much time do you spend each day in your other world? Quite a bit. Usually when I am lying in bed, before I fall asleep.

-Does stimming and movement (ex. pacing around the house) help you to get into the other world? No, not really. I have to be still (like lying down) in order to 'go' into these worlds.


-If there is more than one character in your world, do you create them to have a wide variety of different personality types? Yes.

-If you have come forward to someone about your world, do they often assume it might be a multiple personality disorder? No, as I never told anyone about them.


-If you've told people about it, how do they react? See answer above.

-If you have not told anyone about it, why not? It is too personal, and they might not understand.


-How long have you been in your other world? years, months? Years.


-Do you have more than one other world? Yes, three of them.


Feel free to add anything more about your world, or ask me any questions about how I experience mine.
My three 'worlds' are based on Star Wars, Duke Nukem series and a lesser one which is Transformers. Mostly in these I am a character, and I largely act myself in them. Sometimes I will 'act' more timid or bold or evil, but that depends on my mood usually. Oftentimes I will imagine myself to have children or a husband in them, or I imagine myself in positions of power. The characters don't have true 'lives,' but certain ones they can get personalities if i have them around long enough.


I am quite astonished though. I thought I was the only one who did this sort of thing.