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I have all of the symptoms of asperger's but have been diagnosed with a non-verbal learning disability. I am a veterinarian but because of my "lack of social skills" I have lost many jobs.
My question is... does everyone else feel that the effort to "fit in" to society is sometimes NOT worth the effort. I say this because it feels like even if I can act in a way that is more neurotypical, that it makes me feel like I'm denying who I really am and it feels hollow and can lead to depressive feelings. I was just wondering if other people feel the same way and, if so, how they deal with it?

I always feel like it's not worth my time to fit in with people, I also fear that if I try and act like everyone else then I'll lose my identity, I like being weird and away from the normies. I just keep to myself a try to befriend others like me.

I often feel like it isn't worth the effort and so I rarely make the effort.

I prefer to be social when I can, but I'm not always able to do so because of my AS. As long as the social setting I am in is compatible with one of my interests, I have no issues, and I enjoy it. I enjoy playing board games, so I socialize in two groups full of people who play board games. If their interests are incompatible with mine, I generally stay away from such gatherings. I can only take so much chatting about subjects in which I have absolutely no interest before I go crazy.

One thing I don't do is date. I get along just fine with members of the opposite sex, but I have no interest in romance. I tried dating a few times, but I have nothing to show for my efforts, because the women I dated were almost invariably looking for a commitment, which is something I couldn't give them. - LJS

Hi, Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Now, on the face of it, being a veterinarian would be an excellent job for someone with a non-verbal learning disability (which sounds like part of the spectrum), but the animal owners, ah, that's the rub, or really probably the co-workers. You know, in retail and sales, I have been looked down upon and undermined by co-workers basically because I was too good with customers. Because I'm respectful and present and engaged with customers, maybe because with my skill level, this is interesting and meaningful for me (then again, I think a mayor would try to give quality time to each person he or she met) and I tend to excel at social interactions that have some structure.

I have gotten a great deal out of political activism, starting with peace activism in response to the Persian Gulf War of 1991, although as much in-fighting and hierarchical structure as any other group and that part was disappointing. I tell myself engagement, not conformity. And I know that's a slogan or mantra, but I think it's a pretty good one.

Like gay rights, like the movement for full and equal rights and full and equal inclusion for persons who are transgender, I hope to see confident, matter-of-fact activism for full rights and full inclusion of those on the spectrum.

It's an irrelevant question to me. Regardless of how hard I try I still can't "fit in".