i need help controlling my EXTREME CHILDISH TEMPER TANTRUMS!

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I'm known to be very badly behaved at home. almost anything can trigger just a loud squeal, yell, whine, groan, mean facial expression.
Let me give you an example of what my mom triggers in me, although most of the time it's not her fault.
Laughing at me when I complain about her.
Complain about her loud eating habits
Feeling rushed and indecisive on the way out the door somewhere
Whatever triggers an anxious feeling on the part of me well. idk.
Point being I am twenty two years old and need to control myself.
Thankfully i recently bought a diary and started writing in it quite often...but how can i start noting how to control myself through how i keep track, if you do so have the ability to help me, any of you wrong planeteers?

Perhaps just think of something you really enjoy when you feel on edge? For me its music. Either recalling a song or making a pattern in my head. I have also found some interesting stradegies online for anxiety. Just type something like "ways to ease anxiety" or " anxiety tips and tricks". Hope I helped some and I do hope things get better. I struggle with anxiety and feeling irritated at lots of things too.

to be frank I don't see what a single forum post with generic suggestions ("learn to direct your anger into helpful things" "Learn to have understanding") will do to make someone as temper tantrum prone as you to change.

it just seems like - from your brief post - that you need a whole lot morre then just some information, you need therapy and meds, and if you've already got that then they're already doing all they can to help, what can we do that's much better?

that really makes me feel awesome! i'll definitely get the bottom of this and do some more googling on my issue to see what i can do, and music just might help as well! perhaps thinking of humorous music as a positive regimen would be a good idea.

btw, Phonic, sorry to say but your advice seemed, eheh, kinda contrasting to what most people would say to at least be somewhat encouraging. no extreme offense, but there is a possibility for putting a halt on practically every sense of self control. anyway i've said my piece. THANK YOU MUSIC IS LIFE!! !! i love music too!
--the fairie

I think doing or thinking of something you like or like to do is a way to ease your frustration causing your temper tantrums (or meltdowns). Music is one way to do it. However, they only treat your symptoms, not the underlying cause. I'd suggest try to get a sense of what "learn to direct your anger into helpful things" and "Learn to have understanding" could be in your life. Putting these in practice requires exerting great mental power, though, so I wouldn't say it's easy. But it worths it.

To me, having more control of my life, even my surroundings (people around me), seeing that I do what I have to do to have a safer / more fulfilling future is something that helps to alleviate most of my anxiety. Anxiety always makes me more prone to temper tantrums / crying fits / meltdowns / whatever. One thing is to notice that your situation is unbearable, the other is to know how to change it. But it always goes in this direction. You can't change your life (or bad life situation) without knowing (stating consciously in your mind) it's unbearable. You have to feel it with your whole existence and body before you can go to the next step.

For example, if you see you're experiencing problems at your workplace, and there seem to be no solution to it (issues with co-workers, sensory overload), it can still appear to you that you have to cling to it for good reasons. But, if you see you have more meltdowns in your life due to having to suffer from too much stress, you should consider regarding this situation as 'unbearable', and deal with it as one. You'd have to rake yourself (self-esteem) together and think of a move. Cliche, but true, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." (Friedrich Nietzsche, quoted countless times )

Stopping mid-meltdown is not going to work. I know; I've tried. You've got to predict what makes them more likely and ease off on that.

And, you know--if somebody laughed at me for complaining about something, I think I'd get pissy too. My mom used to do that to me, and I haven't realized until lately just how mean that was of her. Especially since I often had legitimate complaints.

Ever since I was about 12 years old I have had similar prolbems. Quite often, the problem is not an obvious one, but may be several prob;lems mixed together. That is definatly the problem in my case as I have anxiety, depression, Tourette syndrome. ADHD and OCD. I too have the problem with people eating around me. I strongly believe I have misophonia, a fear of certain noises that can have an unusual reaction from mild irritation to becoming enraged. I know it sounds like a cliché but things do get better if you can admit that you have a problem, which I believe you know. I denied that the anger and meltdowns were my doing for many years and was pretty much begging for help. Until you make the decision to help yourself, there is nothing anyone can do.

In my case, age has helped me a lot. Although I am only 23, I am a different person from the one I was last year. This is partly due to medication (you must find one that is right for you) but I would like to think that it is partly due to my own work that I have been doing. I am now able to control when my anger is released and in what way. I am less unpredictable than I was and I feel much better in myself. I am by no means cured, butI believe thatif I carry on this way I will continue to get better.

I would like to know how to avoid my meltdowns also. I am 48 and don't have it figured out yet and could really use some advice. Maybe anger management? IDK, I refuse to take the medications. I know they help people but, if I can't do this w/o them, then so be it.

Close your eyes, plug your ears with your fingers, shake your head back and forth, say the same words over and over and over again and again and again, until you feel calm. Repetition is a good way to reset yourself from the trigger of an overload, sensory or emotional. When the input becomes too much, try to release it with output, the repetitive instead of explosive kind.

Meltdowns are part of being an aspie. I'm the same way, when a social situation is stressing me, I explode. There's not so much you can do in the middle of a tantrum, the best thing is just to analyze it afterwards and figuring out what the problem actually was and what you can do differently next time around.

anger management therapy is my best answer. aspies can learn to control their tempers to some degree and calm down to have fewer meltdowns. it will always be harder for us, and we might never be perfectly controlled, but we can get a lot better. i think that it is a valuable step to learn some techniques because it can help aspies to get along with people better, which can help with work, school, friendships, family, romance... pretty much everything.

thanks! valuable statement as well