autistic: banned from supermarket

Post Reply New Topic

i have meltdowns quite often in public, and supermarkets.
i was in ASDA today because i needed to get bedding for my bed some pillows and a quilt i already have a quilt but i needed a extra one because my window handle broke off and my window wont close (it didnt even when the handle was on) my mum has reported the window to the council (we live in a council estate in the uk)
it was very hard to find what i needed to get, and i kept getting toothache one of my teeth is loose and the nerve is exposed.
some boys were picking on me when i was looking around, so i just ignored them and kept shopping with my younger brother.
my younger brother come with me shopping because i have a free buss pass for me and another person and he realy needed a belt for his pants for school so i took him to get one was one of the main reasons i was in the supermarket. so we did all that.
and went to the self checkout, my bedding wouldnt fit in a plastic bag so i got my brother to ask if they had a bin bag of a sort that i could put it in and they kept refusing and telling him to buy one of those bags for life bags that cost a quid. i basicly refused because the bags were exactly the same size as the plastic bags at the checkouts but they were repetedly telling me either use one of those completly usless to my shopping, bags or leave the shop with the bedding as it is, but i wasnt going to leave and carry it home and onto a bus without a bag beacuse i live in a bad area with morons and id raler they didnt see what im sleeping with the thought just put me off.
and then them boys come back and walk through the check out and were hassling my little brother so i told them to stop and they started hassling me so i basicly went into the shopping trolley grabed some cans of pop and threw them at them, the security guard was telling me before these boys were hassling me to buy a bag or leave i told him i was autistic he just blanked me and repeated himself, then after the boys left (by the way none of the staff told the boys to stop) i was in full meltdown and i just started hitting the self check out (i somtimes hit obects insead of my self as a form of self harm in meltdown) and screaming IM AUTISTIC OK STOP IT STOP IT IM AUTISTIC STOP IT and the security guard was threatinging to aresset me i again said to him this time shouting IM AUTISTIC OK IM AUTISTIC OK (i dont speak much there isnt many words i can verbalise.) and i just fell on the floor self hitting and screaming and crying and they had to call my mum and get her to come as i was waiting for my mum i could hear the staff talking about me they were saying things like "ridiclus behavoir", "shouldnt come here on own" , "shouldnt come into places like this if cant control "temper" ridiclus " .
somone actualy went up to the staff and told them that they seen the boys actualy "work me up" as the guy said but they just didnt listen.
when my mum came she kept trying to explain but they were replying to her like she was talking in a difrent laungege my mum explained im autistic and i cant control meltdowns (she also said on the phone) they refused to let me leave until my mum came to pick me up. they kept saying "we understand she had a temper tantrum" NOT TEMPER TANTRUM, MELTDOWN! my mum kept saying to them it was a meltdown and there is a diffrence but again, as if in a diffrent laungege,
they said im no longer alowed in the supermarket without my mum, so much for being indepenent and learinging how to cope on my own.............
my mum cant come with me outside very often because she has bad joints (possible athritis) and she cant leave the house often because my brothers are always out and my mum cant leave the house with noone in even locked (bad area lots of morons) , my dad died last year so things have been harder for my mum harder for her to leave the house.


............. (just so you know, im not AS. )

I'm sorry to hear you had a meltdown. BTW I love the Link picture I'm a HUGE Zelda fan and just beat Skyward Sword before returning to college for another semester. Is there anyone else besides your mom that can go places with you? Perhaps a friend? Obviously someone that would understand you're autistic and that you have meltdowns so they can help you if another situation like this happens. It's sad the security guard and most people don't understand Autism and just look at it as temper tantrums or bad behavior. Perhaps you can try to order stuff online more often so you will not have to go out to the stores.

im a very very big zelda fan (il send you a message so this post dosnt get sent to the games fourm :p )

my brothers cant handle me realy, i dont have any freinds so thats it.
i cant realy get any of it online, i use a internet dongle, that you top up £15 pounds a month for so much internet MB i get 1GB for £15 a month i have no idea how much internet credit that is but i guess it is alot althoguh ive only been using it for a few days and it says the total data usage is over 500MB which i think is half of 1GB .

I'm sorry you went through that. If it ever happened to me I'd take it to the media. Taking advantage on them for wanting to jump on autistic issues but still stuff like this shouldn't happen. I had a meltdown at a self checkout and the shop assistant just showed me what to do.
I hate it when they refuse to sell you plastic bags and tell you to buy the reusable good for mother Earth kind. I reuse every plastic bag as my own garbage bin or to throw out kitty litter so it's not going to be polluting the environment. Well, not the streets or oceans.

The fact of the matter is, there are ways people are expected to act in public, and there are ways people are not expected to act in public, and whether or not an individual is autistic doesn't matter to other individuals in these circumstances.

Those who cannot navigate public places on their own are expected to have minders and it's the job of those minders to help the individual avoid such situations, or calm or remove them from the situation.

It was dangerous to the people around you to have started to throw cans. One of them could have hit an innocent person, or someone could have tripped over one of them on the floor.

Unfortunately I get the impression that bullying of strangers by groups of youth in the UK, and even being randomly assaulted, is relatively common, so you should expect this to happen and devise a way to deal with it before it occurs.

In the situation you described, a better way to handle it would have been to alert the security guard that you were being followed and harassed while you shopped and you feared for your safety. They have an obligation to remove those individuals from the store.

Do you know why they wouldn't give you the bag you had asked for? Do they have a policy against it? If so, there isn't much you can do, except request to speak to the store manager and plead your case with them.

You can file a formal complaint with the store concerning your treatment after you were harassed and the failure of security to stop the harassment, and perhaps even about your treatment, but it's not reasonable to expect them to put up with an individual throwing cans and making a scene.

Unlikely to work. The security guard had already asked her to leave. So at that point OP was identified as a problem.


As far as filing a complaint later, antagonising the store at this point is unlikely to make things better. They'll hit back! They won't be kind at all when they explain the OP should never have been allowed in public on her own. And you know what, I think they're right. That kind of behaviour is unstable and unwanted. Further, nintendofan isn't in a position to adequately explain her actions. And so what if she succeeds? If she goes back she'll be the ret*d that had a meltdown. Better off going to another store, I think.

What did you mean by "btw I'm not AS"?


When you feel that kind of stress coming on OP it might be best to walk away. I know it's not always possible to recognise a meltdown but it's better than freaking out. You don't have to say anything. Just get the hell out of there! To be honest, I don't understand why you wanted a bag so much. No idea what you mean by "too many morons" (lol).

It seems fair to point out that we have only the OP's side of the story, and that alone defeats any objective advice we may give.

Throwing cans of pop at boys....You should be in jail. That is an assault. Period. They could have been seriously injured. You must be young. Keep it up and after a few trips to jail, you might learn to contain yourself.

I'm sorry about what happened to you. I also think that you should file a complaint as well. File a complaint and take it to the media. You can PM me if you need anybody to talk to. Teenage boys can also be a pain sometimes, if they don't understand.

This is true.

Autism does not give you right to hurt people. It is frustrating. I know this personally. There are many things that limit my independence. Less now that I am older but I still have limitations. For safety these limitations is necessary so I accept it. That is being responsible.

Saying you can throw things and have public meltdowns and no one can ask you to leave because you have autism is not okay. There is no shame in needing a companion. There is shame in refusing to accept your current limitations. If you can not go places without throwing things and having melt downs then you should not go places alone.

thats assult to THEM? im sorry but i find that just to funy.
they were ASULLTING ME first.
shut up and learn the words "suvere autism"

you should learn more about autism, before you make a comment like that. or, at least, read my post propely.

Some of the responses here are scaring me.

Yes, nintendofan is responsible for throwing cans and would have been responsible for hurting some one despite being in a meltdown. Yes, meltdowns in public are bad. Yes, this situation should not have occurred.

But...wow.

Nintendofan, hopefully you find more methods of dealing with this type of situation.

Are you serious? Do you think jail time would stop her from impulsively lashing out? Yeah, throwing pop cans at others out of anger is assault. And I think that she should try to learn, little by little, better coping mechanisms for these situations than angrily lashing out. Because even if someone's autistic, the world isn't going to bend over backwards for you. Most people don't give a rat's ass if you're autistic; autistics have to obey the same laws as everyone else.

................ sorry but







(severe)

Lol.. to be honest I don't think you can be blamed for your behaviour, as long as you were truly being harassed. But a bit of self-control should become a top priority. See what your therapist or whatever can recommend. See if your family can help. Perhaps they recognise the signs and let you know when to cool down. (Of course you'll have to trust them and accept them when they suggest it. No good if that just stresses you out even more).

Apart from that, work on your little explanation. Shouting out I'm autistic OKAY isn't going to work, as has just been proven. You'll need to do a bit of problem solving but it sounds like you have people in place to support you on this if you ask them.

How about carrying some type of card with you explaining you are autistic with some basic facts about autism so you don't have to spend so much energy trying to explain yourself.

I try to doing any shopping during times when the stores are the most quiet. Usually that means I shop while kids are in school. I find they make too much noise and I get overwhelmed easily. In a perfect world we should be able to go shopping whenever we want to but that is not possible so we have to make adjustments. I hope your Sunday is calm and uneventful.