Frakkin wrote:
I think most NTs aren't as confident as they seem. They're just good at faking it. I have a friend who appears very confident and flirty around men, but she's actually insanely insecure and is diagnosed with general anxiety. It's strange. But when you get to know people, everyone has insecurities. Yay for being human.
Yep, that is so true. Nobody's perfect. People may seem like they're all the same when they're out in public, but when you actually get to know someone and go to their house and stuff then you will find out something odd about them because everybody has their own way of living. Some like to hoover every day, some don't bother to hoover at all. Some smoke in their house, others just smoke in a certain room, others go outside to smoke, and others don't smoke at all. Some go to bed really late and don't care for much sleep, others creep off to bed early. Some have a bath every night, others have a shower every morning.....everybody varies. But everybody has their own oddity in their homes. Like my friend draws all her curtains when she goes out and puts a peg between them to keep them together because she's paranoid of people seeing in. Before I went to her house, I never thought she was like that, I always thought she was more....(whatever the opposite of ''paranoid'' is) than that.
As for confidence, people just have that social knack what seems like confidence to Aspies but probably isn't really when it comes down to it. An introverted person can still have conversations appropriately but can still be introverted and even unconfident. But don't forget, the majority of NTs have that social knack built in them, whether they like socialising or not. My mum is NT but loathes socialising, and gets all anxious and worked up when she's invited to a party or a wedding or some other social gathering, but feels guilty if she doesn't go, so she tries to pluck up the courage to go, and always says, ''I've got to endure this social gathering'', which literally makes me laugh because I know exactly how she feels! But when she's actually there, she can have normal conversations and do and say all the appropriate things and not look odd or anything, whereas I can't even do that at social gatherings. I just stay completely mute the whole time and can't have conversations with anyone unless I know someone really well and I'm comfortable with. Otherwise, I just don't know what to say to anyone. The right words don't come out, and so I just end up saying ''oh'' and ''yes'' and ''no'' and other short words like that. Once I was somewhere (can't remember where or when) and I was really, really shy, and someone asked me if I wanted a drink, and I shook my head - then realised I should have one because my mouth was dry, so I then nodded, but the person was so wrapped up in socialising that she didn't see me nod and just said, ''OK'', and turned around to talk to a crowd of people. I felt so silly after that, and hated myself for being so shy.
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