Has anyone ever tried to destroy the social urge in AS?

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Well, apparently this urge is something that purely autistic people already lack, but AS lack the skills for ("trapped between a rock and a hard place") - and this is the primary cause of loneliness, that autistic people don't seem to suffer from, either.

So... I'm wondering whether anyone ever thought of attempting to destroy that longing... do you think it's worth it? (Obviously it wouldn't be if you already have a social life, established after decades of trial and error, but for someone who has tried hopelessly and whose life is in disarray, the elimination of loneliness could prove useful.)

Hmm... does this mean I have autism and not AS? because I don't think I have that urge. But I'm not very good at socialising, so I probably would want to get rid of it.

I killed mine a long time ago. If it was not for my wife I would be a hermit.

I don't have a great urge to make social connections in the traditional sense...especially for a woman i.e. I have no interest in sitting and talking for extended periods of time about situations that are not currently resolvable in my opinion. I am referring to things like whether a female friend should call some man she went out with after not hearing from him for several days. Who cares? If you want to talk to him, call him...if not, don't. Sheesh.

I do, however, enjoy going to places where humans congregate and interact as long as I do not have to interact with them. I enjoy attending movies, restaurants, coffee shops, and bars alone so that I can watch others. I think of it as social research.

Usually this practice gets ruined by someone asking me "what are you smiling at?" or "what are you looking at?" Interestingly, being interrupted by the other person is the second most irritating thing about these exchanges. What REALLY makes me crazy is these people's insistence upon ending sentences in prepositions!

Okay, this rant was a little off-topic so back to the OP's question: No, I haven't tried to kill the small urges that I have to be in the vicinity of other humans occasionally.

Well, that's a good situation you're both in, then - aligns with your desires. But how would someone who still has that desire be able to eliminate it, if unwanted? That is, as opposed to spending one's life in perpetual solitude.

I don't know, Mootoo. I wish I did actually since being lonely is a horrible feeling.

I am curious and please feel free to ignore this question if it is too personal but, why do you want to get rid of your desire for social interaction? Are your attempts at interaction causing you pain somehow?

Well, you can only fail so many times before you start to try alternatives.

Some apparently do so..
And get labeled schizoid for it. I agree loneliness is a horrid emotion, but that longing is for human interaction. If you lose it, you will be giving up part of your humanity. Are you sure you want to do that?
And not every autistic is comfortable being alone, remember everyone is different on the spectrum, just as with the NTs.

Sincerely,
Matthew

I'd rather that some pharmaceutical company bottles all the neurochemicals that are released in response to social interaction and sell the resulting concoction as a nasal spray Whenever you get lonely and depressed, you just take a puff and instantly feel like you just had a two hour chat with a close friend.

Last edited by CrazyCatLord on 01 Mar 2012, 11:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

I would like to, but no matter what I do, it seems like I start descending into a kind of dysphoric living-death when I make an attempt. So I don't try and just settle for what little social interaction I can find, anywhere I can find it.

This would be amazing! Someone out there is currently working on this, right? Please tell me that they are!

You can buy oxytocin nasal spray now. I wasn't sure if CrazyCatLord was joking and already knew this. I recommend MDMA instead because it lasts longer and feels nicer. Taking them with people is better though.

Lol.. I almost posted something along those lines to the "if there was a pill" thread. Yes there is, it lasts 4-6 hours but unfortunately is illegal in pretty much the entire developed world. It definitely works though. I made most of my longer term friends and met my wife while I was self medicating.

Back to the topic at hand.. I'm not sure quite how the OP wants to achieve this, not being bothered by isolation (but still trying) and deliberately isolating yourself seem very different things.

I guess the lesson I have learned is to accept that I'm never going to be in the driving seat socially, but I can have friends. Somehow I seem to attract extremely outgoing social types who have no problem with me tagging along while they happily chat with every person they pass and I just listen and observe. I think the really outgoing types need downtime too and aspies are pretty undemanding company.

Jason

I destroyed mine between the ages of 9 to around 16, when I began to notice how different I was compared to everyone else. People were way too confusing for me, so I basically gave up on them. I shut out everyone, preferring to retreat into imaginary worlds I created where things were orderly and predictable. What changed was that people began to seem interesting to me, and deep down, I really desired to have friends.

If I don't have aspergers I think I could be schizoid. I'd rather just stay home and not interact with people except on my computer and then only on forums like this.

Well I did not try, I succeeded,but it was not like I would decide 'Hey, I just go and destroy my social urges'. One day, after party with my college classmates, where I sat quietly all evening not having a clue what to say, I started to think what is the precise reason I am socialising and what benefits it brings me. I figured out that the only reason for me to socialise was my attempt to conform to majority. However, since time I started to suspect myself from having AS, I gradually withdrawed all my attempts to conform (except the times it could be harmful to anyone). I also could not see any benefits socialization had been bringing me. Logically, I decided that it might be a good idea to stop trying to socialize at all costs and focus on the other parts of my life. Since that I ceased to have any social urges; I am rarely talking to someone on the friendly basis, and I am going to parties only when they are organized by the geeky people I know either from high school or chess.