I need some help to get me started...

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Hi! I've known I'm different most of my life but I've never been diagnosed with any type of autism. Most things I've recently found online about autism sound very familiar though...

Can you help make things a bit clearer? Here's a list of things about me that I find relative:

I have a weird way of pronouncing certain things. I have dissorthographia and my orientation skills are very poor. My parents thought I had I problem with my hearing at the age of 2-3 'cause I was not responding to sounds sometimes. Weddings are torture for me and I feel very uncomfortable when certain people touch/hug me (I need to be ready for it, to give my permission and know that I'm not expected to do so). The test that's going around online gave me a 32 and a 27 the second time I took it. I analyze things compulsively and can talk about those for hours. People say that I have great Ideas and angles on things. I've got a dry sense of humor(but I'm told I'm quite funny) and I'm very creative (I'm a designer and and an artist) and I can make up stories very easily and find solutions to difficult building challenges.
I don't mind lecturing to a crowd as long as I've prepared my words to the tee and I know my subject. I'm not sure I know what flirting is or at least I don't know how to do it. I'm 33 but look 23 (tough if you're a guy ). I don't smile very often. Not following the rules make me angry. I have trouble looking at some people in the eye and feel like the reasons vary depending with who I'm talking to. Sometimes I give weird gifts to people, especially women I like (moth-balls, vinegar, weird jewelry I've made, drawing-charcoal etc) .
I have trouble sleeping because I think too much and I can't stop it. I insult people without wanting to do so. I collect unusual things but I usually end up using them with my sculptures and it's not obsessive... I think. I move a little awkwardly. I don't flap my hands or rock back and forth but I do pull the tip of my tongue out with my lips sealed on it quite often . and I pinch-pull my shirt downwards in the chest area quite often as well. Loud semi-high pitched things like whistles really bother me and I get attached to objects I like.

Can I get your thoughts on this? Could it be that I just have anxiety dissorders or a combination of things? Any advise?

I need a bit more information, feel free to answer my questions and I may be able to help you out a bit. If you answer these I will ask you a few more questions which may or may not depend on the answers you give for these.

1. How many friends do you have? If you broke your leg, how many of those friends would drive you to the hospital and stay by you until you get released by the doctor or until you find someone who can pick you up?

2. Do you occasionally drop things? Would you describe yourself as clumsy? Has anyone ever told you that you're clumsy?

3. How long was your longest romantic relationship? How long would you say your romantic relationships usually last?

Hi! Thank you for the swift reply.

1. I'd say 4 or 5..maybe 6 but they are divided between 3 countries and a couple of them don't drive. I guess it also depends on how long they would have to stay there and what other things they had to attend to.

2. I work with delicate and fragile things and I'm good at it. I'm a pro model-maker designer/artist. I do drop things occasionally but nothing crazy. I've been told I'm clumsy yes, but hasn't everyone been told that at one time or another?

3. Longest romantic relationship lasted 1.5years (28-30)... We lived together for about 6months. That's pretty much the only one. It was pretty tough and she said I was the strangest of her (8)boyfriends.

Oh, feel free to pick anything apart. That's why I'm here. Things are definitely amiss.. that's also why I'm here.

I've always had 1 or 2 good friends around but the ones closer to me now (in this country) are now married with children and now I'm not only the different one but also the one that's single.

I'm considered advanced as a professional but very behind in everything else... Especially romantic relationships. People usually think I'm eccentric because I'm an artist and vise versa.

I've sort of invested everything in my talents and I thought that If I was really good at something that everything else would fall into place. I'm almost 34 now and I don't believe that anymore. I feel like people are interested in my work but not in me. I now have a love hate relationship with my work.

Thank you for your support and input kirayng

That's neat you're the same age as me. I'm pursuing a diagnosis because of my sensory issues but I would advise you to do the same? It's not for a label, more for a starting point: " I have this, so I must deal with things this way now" sort of thing. It's not easy, that's for sure, but the more autism fits me, the more traits I can express without personal shame, the better I feel all around. I've actually been sleeping better since I ceased resisting.

You see the truth, so I don't need to drive it home further and I wish you the best sorting though all of this, feel free to pm me with anything. I'm not the best at getting right back, but when I do, it's good stuff.

Thank you Kirayng. You're probably right about getting diagnosed and being more at ease. But to be honest, I'm a bit weary of getting used to that and using the label as an excuse to hide behind.

Since I'm also into teaching my professional skills in schools, I'm also weary of having this kind of information go public. I don't think there are many institutions that would like their clients knowing that they or their kids are being taught by someone who has developmental disabilities. This also applies to my dyslexia (dysorthographia mostly) and I avoid the blackboard at most costs.

All this is amplified by the fact that autism awareness is nonsense in this country, ...which brings me to the next topic. There is no official adult support for autism here. You can only pursue it privately($$$) and with people who are probably not that qualified.
Things were better in respect to this in Canada and money was not an issue when I used to live there, Things are very different here unfortunately.

I've stumbled on some sites that advertise professional help and analysis that you pay online for with a credit card. Are those any good?

Anyone else willing to take a stab at this?