Hello - I'm kevin

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I shared this with another forum but I thought I may share it with you guys as it explains alot of what I think and what I've been gone through.

Hello everyone. My name is Kevin. I have a type of autism called aspergers. Actually, it falls within the autism spectrum disorder. Please go easy on me. I am new to philosophy . I haven't been to college yet but I hope to go this fall. I finally got onto a computer that I can work on, because I don't have internet at home and do all my reading and research on the phone.

But I love philosophy because it makes me think about life, I especially like ethics. It makes me think about my own life, and it makes me hope about the life of others. I've been through a lot of suffering myself, so I try to be understanding and accepting of others if they aren't the same to me, I try to understand why, and accept it any way.

Often times I am obsessive and I can't sleep for days , sometimes I study for day after day, doing nothing but reading and thinking "in my own head" about things, every subject I can think of. But I would read, at my worst, often still do, all day but mostly focus 6 hours a day or more, take a break, then continue to study, for another 6 hours, often the whole day, without rest, sometimes I don't eat or drink much.

During my severe game addiction I was addicted very badly to an online game since I could not fit in real life or socialize well. It helped me escape. I quit the addiction last year but for 12 years it consumed me and I was just as obsessed with that as anything else. When I wasn't obsessive about that it was reading. oh, I loved to read. I read everything! It made me think but sometimes it was detrimental to me, too. I read math, chemistry, philosophy, ethics, everything, numismatics was my passion too! My name comes from the spark erosion process which is a way counterfeiters make transfer dies to strike coinage. I studied counterfeit detection of US gold coinage, that was what I specialized in my study of money (numismatics.)

I am sorry for rambling so long sometimes I get off track, but I was recently reading Voltaire's work. I especially love his work called "Candide" on optimism. He is a bit more pessimistic but I think this is a good thing. here's what I wrote. I don't know if I'm right, if you agree, but maybe you can see the points of how I relate to it? If not, that's okay too. I like new opinions, because it opens my mind too! so if you don't agree, please let me know so I can understand where you're coming from or where I am wrong. Thank you.

My analysis of Voltaire's "Candide" on Optimism. (More of a summary of the story, but I give my thoughts here and there.)

Yesterday I was up all night reading Candide I couldn't sleep I had to read it and understand it. So here are my thoughts:

Candide I believe means "white" or "pure." Candide is a work of Voltaire, a philosopher who in my opinion was far ahead of his time. he fought for equality, against slavery, and for human equal rights. He saw that belief in god was not a problem. It only became a problem when the views of god became dogmatic in nature. Voltaire attacked these dogmatic views on religion. Believing that god and (christian especially) was the only "right" belief, and others were "wrong.". this seems to be the root cause of all conflict. This absolutism to one extreme.

Candide addresses this, arguing that there has to be a balance , and extreme optimism or pessimism is not good. Voltaire had much more pessimistic views than Leibniz. Candide was a student of Pangloss, in turn a student of Leibniz who believed this was "the best of all possible worlds." Candide was completely naive of evil. No matter how tragic or wrong or evil an event was, Candide was optimistic , asserting that "this hast o be the best of all worlds." He rationalized evil as good, in a sense. From seeing all the evil int he world, eventually he realized not everything is "the best of all worlds." he hired the most pessimistic person on purpose, a man named Martin, who was opposite of Candide. He was extremely pessimistic. This turned out to be a good thing and a nice way to balance things and the story.

Martin was the extreme opposite of Candide, he saw nothing as good. Sometimes his own pessimism undermined himself, similar to how people took advantage of Candide's nativity.

The end of the satire type novel is open to interpretation. personally, I see it as a sum of Martin's and Candide's beliefs. Horrible depressed, and in despair, they go to see a priest. And they ask he priest, "Why is there so much evil and suffering in the world?" The priest replies, "Why do you ask? When a king sends his ship abroad, to Egypt, is he concerned with what the mice on the ship think?" And he slammed the door on them. Eventually they meet a man working on a garden. They assume he must be rich. He isn't, but full and disgusted with the evil in the world, they decide to ignore the problem of evil, and instead work in the garden in peace. The story ends with Candide saying to "cultivate our own garden." it is ironic that, even though they had the money and power to change ignorance in man(at least to some extent) they chose not to. Rather pessimistic, this reflects (in my opinion) Martin's views. Rather optimistic too, working in the garden is "good", and in a sense optimistic, for they have peace finally. I believe this may represent (in my opinion) Candide's views .

My conclusion to this story is that some pessimism and moderate depression, can be a good thing as long as it isn't too severe. this awareness helps us fight for what is right.

What do you think?

thank you very much!

Kevin

Also I wanted to share some more about myself. Some of my interests are a little bit of everything I like questioning everything, as I'm very curious about everythig. But Ic an't seem to learn enough. I like to take other peoples opinions or arguments in mind, and if they say I'm wrong, I like to see why they think that way. It's a good thing, I think.

Also I am a magician and that is one of my hobbies. I love magic tricks. But, I used to practice more. Right now my interests keep changing, the obsession from one topic to another. I've been in a severe depression and very suicidal at times from it.

I would practice alot, sometimes I still do, but not as much as I used to. I would practice 6 hours a day, often more, most days 3-4 hours a day, I did this everdday, not missing a day, for over 2 years. Eventually, I got about 2,000~ hours of practice into my magic trick (effect). I stopped counting after about estimating around 1,500 hours spent. But, this is no big deal. I need 10,000 hours to master it .

I have a friend named Ponta the smith. He is a very good coin magician, one of the best in the world I am happy to know him, he is my best friend, he always helps and encourages me.

He is famous within the magic community but not outside. He helped me alot he's my mentor too.

He always encourages me.

I am also a coin magician. But I learn japanese. I am not fluent but can read it, and can speak it. Ic an't write it.

I also do sponge ball magic. i also like numismatics. Numismatics is the study of money. I like studying US gold coinage, history of gold coinage, and counterfeit detection in coinage, including alterations.

But recently I have been going downhill mentally. regarding the fulity of life, alot of times, I see the truth, the amount of suffering within me, within others, within society, and everything is messed up horribly.

The only thing that keeps me going is hope with in myself.

I hope to help other people maybe one day help society in a better way, whether indirectly or directly.

But it pains me. You see, everything seems rather good at first, including society, and this encompasses many different subjects, or interests, but once you start to peel back the layers, you see the truth. And it isn't pretty. This has been my recent obsesion for quite some time, especially during my online game addiction for 12 years in which I quit playing last year.

When iw asn't playing, I was reading. And reading. And the more knoweldge I gained, the worst off mentally I got. That was my obsession. I just have to apply it, to the better you know?

Also I got really addicted to the online game. But because of this, I got really good at typing. One time a couple yeras back, I competed for the united states ultimate typing championship. People across the USA compete for the title "fastest typist of USA".
I got into the semi finals for a chance to get into the finals. I got into 3rd place. But, I didn't answer my email. If I were to get into the finals, or (at least into 2nd place in the finals), I would have gotten flown out to SWSX Sundance Film Festival in Austin Texas and been on national TV. But, I didn't answer my emial. The email told me congratultaions because I was one of the fastest typing people in the united states.I doubt it,but that's what it said. I'm sure there are others faster than me, But, I was accurate and kind of fast. My fastest speed that got me into the semi finals was 169 WPM with 99.8% accuracy.
I don't want to brag I just want to say what interests me and maybe what I am good at too maybe someone can relate?


Thank you for reading
kevin

Last edited by GoldCoinLover on 30 Jan 2012, 6:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Hi Kevin,

I used to enjoy magic tricks when I was younger, I spent a lot of time practising, what is your favourite trick?

Jason

In the real world pessimism and moderate depression only get you a prescription for zoloft.

I see what you mean but really, moderate depression, I think at least, may help someone see more clear. If I was so optimistic, to be completely bliss, free of ignorance, that would be good. I would be happy. But I would also be not aware of the evil in the world, and therefore less willing to do something about it.

Thank you for your opinion.

I do a trick called Ponta the smith's "Vanish". It is with a coin. It's very difficult.

this is ponta the smith performing this trick, he created it. I have yet to get it as good as him. He said in 10 years I will be as good as him. I think in 10 years I will be too! Or at least as smooth or skilled as him.
In fact, after 2,000 hours of practice I am no where close to as good as him, not even in this one trick. I have a long ways to go! But I'll keep trying


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynaLHCaHDMM[/youtube]

Something else I really like and have an interest in now is fitness. I lost 101 lbs from being severely obese.

I was at 30% bodyfat at my worst, (48 size waist) now am at 10%, and size 32.

I like to contribute sometimes on the fitness part of these forums as I like to help others out.

Hello, Kevin.