Hyperfocused on what other people think of you?

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Does anyone else suffer from this? Ever since my teen years I have been obsessed with what other people think of me, obsessed with their hatred really. It's really scrambled my brain, I wish I was less aware of their disdain! I really didn't intend for that last part to rhyme . . .

Usually I only care if they are angry or annoyed with me. If they think I'm weird or a geek or something...well I kinda am, so they are only realizing the truth and that doesn't bother me much.

Yes, big time. That's where I'm messed up socially, I care too much about what other people think of me, that and not knowing how to interact with people properly.

I used to be like that when I was younger, and it really did bother me. Now that I am older, I know that people do still feel this way about me, but they are not spending every moment of every day thinking about me. People are too busy with their own lives, and their own issues to focus that much on other people. You are not the center of everyone else's universe, so get over it and get on with your life. Even when people do focus on you in a negative way, so what? They won't do so for long, as they will be going back to focusing on their own stuff. Also, who cares what other people think? If they are thinking nice thoughts about you, great! If they are thinking bad thoughts about you, then they are jerks you don't want anything to do with, anyway. If they are not thinking anything in particular about you, at least they are not thinking bad thoughts about you, and who knows, they may start thinking nice things about you at some point in time.

If you are spending that much time and energy focusing on what others are thinking of you, then you need to do stuff to occupy and distract your mind.

- Exercise. It generates mood boosting endorphins.

- Read funny stories and watch funny shows. That also generates endorphins.

- Eat healthy, and enough of it. This will improve your over all health. Not eating enough leads to being tired, cranky, not having enough energy, being depressed, and getting sick. Also, the skeleton look is hideous.

- Get plenty of rest. Not enough rest leads to the same things as not enough food.

- Volunteer. There are people worse off than we are, who would really appreciate the help. Also this is a good way to boost your mood and to meet people.

- Take courses, either in person, or online. Some of the online ones are free, and the in person ones are a good way to meet people. Also, you will have a better self image with academic success.

- Take up a hobby or join a club. It is a good way to keep yourself occupied, and to meet people who share your interests.

- Get a job if you don't have one. It's a good way to keep occupied, meet people, and improve your finances.

- Get involved in community activities. Attend town meetings, local events at the local libraries, sporting events, local fairs and art shows, attend and/or participate in local theater. This is a good way to keep occupied, meet people, and brush up on your social skills.

Now, stop dwelling on what others are thinking about you and get busy!

Yes I used to spend many hours a day wondering what person x thought of me. I also tended to over react to very minor comments.

If somebody said something that I perceived as insulting, I would stew over it for a few days. Serious bullying at school would often take over my thoughts, wonder how many valuable hours I wasted.

i think i don't care enough, in some ways. i have given up on being able to guess how people will react to me or my actions, because i always get it wrong.

I am hyperfocused and hypersensitive to what other's think of me, even if it's good. I can't explain how I feel about it really, it is a very illogical thing what nobody, including me, understands. I'm constantly thinking I'm in the spotlight all the time, that people (whether's it's strangers or not), are thinking about me and what I'm doing, and even if they're doing other things or thinking of other things I still might be in the back of their mind. It's horrible, and I don't know why I think like this for.

Yes, I can relate tot his. However, is it really that you're more aware of their disdain fo ryou, or that you have a negative self-image and project that onto others? I mean, are you sure you know what people think of you, or is it just your gut feeling?

I can very much relate to this topic. I have days when I don't really care what others think of me, but then there are days when it has a real impact on me. I naturally want people to like me and worry about whether or not I have caused anyone to feel any differently. If people choose to hate me then I believe them to be quite irrational as I don't think I am that offensive a person. However, I have been told that I can come across as being a bit 'cold' or emotionally detached and so I do try not to come across this way (although I don't always succeed).

I get quite worried of what people are thinking.......not really due to wanting to fit in or be more popular in society though. Its like I get worried of people looking down on me or maybe wanting to ridicule me or do worse. I think a lot of it has to do with growing up having to deal with all the bullying. I mean its not so much not wanting to be 'different' its more wanting those differences to be tolerated and not something for people to use to cause me some sort of harm.

I mean even right now I'm going to apply for SSI but I'm all worried about what my family would think, and how they would react and then as a result I end up afraid to bring it up even though I have to eventually...as for one my mom might need to give me a ride to the office to apply and I am sure my grandmothers dying to know what I'm going to do with my life. But yeah this would be easier if I wasn't so worried about how everyone will react.

Oh, yeah. I obsess about it. I have obsessed about it to the point of agoraphobia before.

I didn't used to do that. It's a new thing, a result of being kicked and judged.

Which was a result of being an Aspie and deciding that it served me better to not really care what people think.

So, my protective mechanism is killing me. Isn't that nice????

I'm hyperfocused, yes, but not hypersensitiv. I think alot about what others may think of me (my clothes, my hair, my facialexpressions, my sentences, even my groceries when I'm at the store). I know my weakness is "theory of mind" or the lack there of (what I think people think, are less likely to be accurate), but I still obsess about it. I know people usually have enough to think about, and couldn't care less about analyzing me, but that logic doesn't help, I still think about it.

I am working on it, trying to change my negative thought patterns. Brain plasticity in adults is a fact. Old dogs can learn new tricks. ...it just takes abit longer than for pups.

It's a hard thing to deal with for me.
I feel very similar to how some of you do(Joe90, cyberdad, and Sweetleaf especially)
Part of my mind says "It's foolish to think that way, others opinions don't matter that much and shouldn't effect your daily life." While another part of my mind says " other people's opinions do matter and you should take care to be the best person you can be, especially in front of people"

In public I constantly feel like everyone is staring daggers into me (even though I know they arent), I also constantly feel like im being judged by strangers and non-strangers alike, and that im being looked down on.

Alot of times in either public places or social situations with people I hardly know I tend to want to flee and feel like a huge knot has formed in my stomach. And desperately need to separate or isolate myself from my situation