Rigidity with names/formal titles/etc?

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I was thinking about this in the shower a couple minutes ago (where I always do my best thinking), and had to get on the board immediately to see if any of you can relate.

I've always had an extreme rigidity when it comes to names, and being asked to call people things other than the name or title I've ascribed to them. This may not make sense, so let me explain with a few examples.

1) I called my mom 'mommy' into my mid-teens. My sister, four years younger than I, had already been calling her mom for a couple of years. While I knew it was strange for someone my age to call their parent 'mommy' or 'daddy', I just could not bring myself to say 'mom'. It felt so strange and wrong!

2) I didn't meet my biological father until I was 12. Prior to that time, the only father-figure in my life was my mom's fiance, who she had begun dating when I was 4-years-old and my sister was a baby. My sister grew up calling him 'daddy' (her father was also not in the picture), and he told me that it would be alright if I did, also. However, I could not bring myself to do it. I thought of him as my dad, but since he technically was not, I would only refer to him by his first name. Nearly 17 years later, I live with him and my stepmom, and while I still can't call him 'dad', I also now can't call him by his first name, because that feels weird, too, considering the length of time he's been my father figure.

3) On the flip side, despite only first meeting him when I was 12, I called my biological father 'dad' from the get go. However, they expressed to me that it would be alright and even desired for me to call his wife 'mom', which of course was not going to happen. Since she's a very jealous and severe type of person, though, I compromised and settled on calling her 'mamma' for a couple of years. I now, however, exclusively refer to her as her first name, because I couldn't tolerate referring to her as a name that suggested she was my mother.

4) My mom has had the same boyfriend for about 15 years now. When they met, I was 10, so I preceded his name with a Mr. I'm 25 now, and despite his only being 37, I still call him Mr. xxxxx. His brother, who is around the same age, however, I call by his first name without the Mr. My stepmom who I live with I call Ms. xxxxx. My boyfriend calls her by her first name only.

5) When professors in college asked to be called by their first name, I couldn't do it. I still addressed the top of emails to them with 'Professor', and in person, I simply would not call them anything. If I had a question, I'd walk up to them, stand there, and wait to be addressed. Ironically, if I were a professor, I would most likely ask students to call me by my first name, also.

6) I remember one time, when I was around 6 and living with my grandparents, my grandmother requested, inexplicably, that when telling my grandfather happy birthday that morning, that I call him 'daddy', because it would really 'tickle' him (they had raised me to that point, and he had no children of his own...we were related through marriage). I outright refused several times, but not wanting to disappoint my grandmother, I finally relented. As soon as the words 'Happy Birthday, Daddy!' escaped from my lips, and I had to run from the room. I felt mortified.

7) Our assistant manager at work a couple of years ago went from being called "Kate" to requesting to be called "Katie." I refused. It's been several years, and she still goes by Katie exclusively now, and I still can't call her that.

Anyway, do any of you do this type of thing?

I don't know really. I used to call my mum ''mummy'' and my dad ''daddy'' right up until I was about 6, and I grew out of it quite quick. My NT cousin still used to call his parents ''mummy'' and ''daddy'' right up until he was about 14 - but I didn't take any notice because it kind of suited him, if you know what I mean.

I think everybody feels a bit like this. They'll call people by what they're used to. I remember when I was a child I never wanted people to call me Joe, only Josie (which was my real name anyway), but people still kept calling me Joe because it was what they were used to and they said it didn't feel right to say Josie because most people called Josie were referred to as Joe. Now I'm not so bothered about being called Joe. I actually like it.

I always call my grandparents ''Nan'' and ''Grandad''. I've been brought up to call them that, and so have all my cousins. Nobody says ''Grandma'' or ''Granny'' or ''Grandpop'' or ''Grampa'' or whatever. It just would not feel right if I did start to call them that. Actually once I did call my Nan ''Gran'' and my cousins laughed because it sounded funny to them.

I have a hard time calling people I don't know well by their first names. I usually go with Mr., Mrs., Ms, or Professor, Doctor, etc. I'm very uncomfortable calling them by their first names even when they tell me to. I've been married 30 years and can't call my parents in law by their first names or Mum/Dad. If I'm put on the spot, I'll call them by the names their grandchildren use. Formality is a big issue with me.

I hope you got toweled off and dressed first For a moment, I pictured you sitting there dripping wet and... erm... anyway, on topic: I tend to think of people the way they were first introduced to me. I never managed to call my co-workers by their first name, even if they asked me to do that. I would simply avoid addressing them directly and continued to refer to them as Mr. or Mrs. So-And-So when talking to other people. When I talk about my parents, I call them my mother and father, because it feels awkward using more familiar terms like "my mom / dad".

Yes, I'm rigid with names. My best friend and another very close friend of mine are both online friends whom I've never met. I refuse to call either of them anything but the user name I first knew them as. I don't care if I've since learned their real first names. They also call me the nicknames they grew attached to. Also, one area of names I'm VERY rigid about is with professors/those with a Ph.D. I want my Ph.D so, so badly, and I feel a lot of awe and respect in the title. If I ever get my Ph.D, I'll sure want people to refer to me as "Doctor"! I'm very close with some of my old professors, but since I didn't become close with them until after I was their actual students (obviously), I still refer to them by "Dr. So-and-So." I'm more than allowed to use their first names, but it's so bizarre to me that I refuse. I grow attached to names I know first. Simple as that.

My name is Kalahari, but for some reason people insist on calling me "Kally". They claim "Kalahari" is too hard to pronounce or just to exotic. My name is Kalahari.

I am very rigid with names. For example a former supervisor was always referred to by my coworkers by a nickname but I could never do the same because it just didn't feel right. It was so much easier for me to refer to him by his given name instead.

this was the case with my thesis adviser.....his other students called him by a shortened version of his first name and I couldn't bring myself to do it......

Yeah I'm the same way. While I answer to nick names, I can't call other people by theirs. It just seems wrong to me.

I also can't refer to an aunt or uncle as such unless they were my aunt and uncle from chilhood. For example, my aunt remarried after her husband died and while I really like the new guy, I can't bring myself to add uncle onto this name. When referring to him I call him uncle though.