planning makes me anxious

Post Reply New Topic

hi there,

i am just right now trying again (actually I failed in this for years) to plan my study. I have to decide which course to take and which one not, And I have to decide in which order to work on them and how much time spend on what.

Actually I really don't understand why I get so anxious about that. Its not a matter of life and death ... but I just try to avoid it... try to distract me in many ways, ... I only can do it in very little steps... the planning of it, and never really do hard decisions..

What causes me so much stress here? - Its about big decisions, its bigger than the usual decisions when going shopping (shall I by this milk or that milk), and so its complex, ... and probably this stresses me already too much... but I don't get it 100%...

anyone who can relate or has some advice how to improve on that?

thank you so much,

anton

I can never seem to plan just a little bit, it almost always turns out to be much bigger and more complex then it needs to be. The result: I give up. I get overwhelmed so easily.

I don't have any advice to give to you, I just wanted to let you know that someone else has issues with planning like you do. It always helps me to know that I'm not alone.

i think i do this too with big decisions. lot's of dread and procrastination and indecision. Advice would be interesting...

Planning stresses me, and I certainly over-plan for almost every eventuality. On the other hand NOT planning - just 'busking it', stresses me just as much!
Leaving 'Aspieness' aside, in terms of personality type (Myers Briggs et. al.) this sounds like the perennial cry of the 'P' type (go with the flow) rather than the 'J' type (make a decision and stick to it). I remember someone during our training said: 'don't forget, for a 'P', every decision is a bereavement!'

I'm opposite. While I tend to be incredibly indecisive with the smallest of things, I tend to buckle down and focus when it comes to big decisions. My mind is usually pretty clear then (like, planning a vacation or applying to a Master's program).

However, it could take me nearly 15 minutes to pick out produce. I literally pick up every apple in the store and inspect it. Deciding what movie to watch? My boyfriend usually gives up trying to pick something. Etc, etc. Small decisions kill me.

Like all tasks in my life I feel like if I cannot clearly see the size and steps involved in a task I become overwhelmed by it. This goes for planning too. Planning something like study or a holiday is still a task, and usually a very complex one at that. I feel like I need to plan the planning because maybe the planning is so big that it will swallow me whole.

Also, all decisions feel so important to me (even the fairly silly ones like what I will buy at the supermarket) that I tend to freeze and not be able to make any decision at all. I believe that this happens because I work so hard to protect myself from things that will upset me, to keep some kind of balance, but there is SO much to weigh up in most decisions that I am never really confident to bring anything in to be a part of my life.

hi 169kitty,

thank you for sharing with me, I also feel better when knowing i am not alone with this..

best wishes
anton

I have problems with small and big decisions, but it's often because I don't have strong preferences about something, I have problems choosing the schedule of a film or picking seat if I'm asked to say wich I want. I don't buy things often because I'm not sure if it's really worth to expend money in something I want (but I don't love/need) and I don't have economic problems. Sometimes I'm "all or nothing", if I can't decided between two things, then I don't take any of them.
I want to play roleplaying games like D&D but I spend too much time filling the character sheet, I can spend one hour thinking in the character's name, and 2 more choosing between the attributes.
The problem is that I've chosen a career that expects me to be a leader and take important decisions.

I once went into Best Buy, grabbed a cart and spent nearly 2 hours browsing movies and placing ones that I might want in my cart. By the end, I had tons of DVDs in my cart and only enough money to purchase two or three. I spent another 45 minutes trying to decide, couldn't, and put all of them back.

Planning is difficult for me because once I am committed to any course of action, it becomes the very last thing in the world I want to do, and must be avoided at all costs. The silver lining is that in my efforts to avoid it, I will carry out older and lesser commitments that in comparison seem now not quite so daunting. So everything gets taken care of eventually, in a roundabout, one-step-forward-two-steps-backward kind of way. It works for me but not, need I state, employers.

If I decide to do something well ahead, I then go through a period of growing panic about it until I actually go. Now I know what the feelings are about, I can usually work through them!