Don't Talk About Other People To Me

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I'm not interested in talking about other people when they are not around. Good or bad. If you are incapable of conversation that involves what everyone else is doing than you are not worth my time.

I agree. One person I know loves to gossip about everybody when they aren't around. My teacher once said that people who talk about others behind their back to you, also talk about you behind your back to other people. It is annoying!

Sometimes with my two best friends when the other isn't around we talk about how wonderful the one not around. Talking people when they are not around can be a way of venting or getting a less subjective opinion over how the other person is. The person you are talking to can get to know the other person.

I've never liked it when people b***h to me about somebody or other. On the other hand, if they're interested in resolving their problem with whoever it is, and they just want to run their ideas past me, and maybe vent a little about some frustrating encounter, I don't mind a bit of negativity. What I really detest is when they're just demonising people to nobble the competition in some kind of one-upmanship game. Sometimes of course they might be talking about an individual who is really being harmful to the group, but even then I've been surprised how they don't seem interested in actually fixing the problem. Sometimes in a hierarchy the top dog will punish anybody for criticising their behaviour to their face, so it's the only time the underdogs can speak freely. I can't really condemn them for bitching in that situation, but again it rarely results in organised rebellion, maybe because it's just too risky.

I've no problem with folks being positive about others behind their backs, but it's a shame if they don't feel they can share it with them.

I don't like talking about others either. I have little real opinions about them -- good or bad. I do not assume things about anyone.

All I could tell about them are several fixed references like facts of their background, their previous actions and past, and emotions that had been explicitly told or displayed -- without any underlaying assumptions of what they felt or thought, or any implications that might've induce emotions and opinions on the other party.

... I barely tell anyone about my feelings about them, and almost never tell what feel for them. Telling all of this is almost as bad as betraying.

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Sorry for the slight derailment:

What's you favorite aspect of history, HistoryGal? One of my favorites is the Peasants' Rebellion of 1381.

Now...back to the topic:

I don't like it when I hang out with a bunch of guys, and all they do is talk about how bitchy women are. It drives me crazy.

Hard to say but probably US history.

Yep....US history is cool, too.

The 19th century was fascinating. In order to succeed in politics then, you had to be a darn good orator.

Lincoln is the most amazing man I know of.

I just don't want to hear about other people. So many things to talk about. You really get tired of hearing the exploits of the popular crowd.

I don't care about the exploits of the "popular crowd." They tend to not reflect intellectual values.

That's why I liked Thomas More's "Utopia" so much. I liked the dialogue at the beginning of that work. Amiable people, who admired both adventure and the intellectual aspects of things.

Ditto Krafty. I like the intellectual convos best.....

I have no patience for gossip. I don't like to badmouth anyone. I know two women who badmouth each other to my face, but act all buddy buddy with each other when they are together. These women gossip to each other about me. I know they do because I mention something to one of them and the other always finds out.

I wonder if cats gossip to each other....

Has to be tiresome...

I think people gossip because they have nothing to do. I used to live in a small community where everyone was bored. Since the day I moved in, I was watched and soon became a subject of gossip. I could not stand nosy people and that made me distance myself from them. The consequence: I got into trouble. I had to move away.