Things You Took Literally as a Child

Post Reply New Topic

When I was around 7 or 8, these two situations occured. They are amusing to me now but, at the time, I felt really confused and frustrated:

1) In Health we looked at that taste bud diagram of the tongue. I thought this was fascinating and also that we literally could only taste sweet foods in the sweet section, sour foods in the sour section etc. So I tested this theory by pressing certain foods to the certain areas of my tongue where those taste receptors were meant to be. Didn't work.

2) In cartoons I used to enjoy watching spaceships leave the Earth's atmosphere. They usually showed this by having the rocket come out of the side of the Earth or something. I asked my teacher where exactly on the Earth this could happen, like how was the rocket able to break through the Earth like that. She looked at me like I was absolutely crazy

Anyone else have any others to share?

Only one thing I can distinctly remember because my family likes to bring it up and joke about it sometimes.

When I was little (can't remember how old), we were all at the table eating spaghetti. For some reason or another, my mom said, "Keep your eye on your fork." So I did. I looked at my fork, with spaghetti noodles all twirled around it, and pressed it against my eyelid. I held it there, and looked at my mom to see if I was doing it right (with my one open eye) and the whole table just burst out laughing at me -- very confusing, but I can laugh about it now.

Probably a lot of stuff, but one I remember offhand is taking my dad literally when he talked about shooting the family dog when I was 8 or 9. That sort of humor was not out of place in the rural setting I grew up in, but it took my mom a good ten minutes to figure out why I was bawling.

When Conway Twitty's "Tight Fitting Jeans" came out, I wondered how the girl fit a tiger into her pants with her, and how the guy was able to see through her pants.

"I will always love you" and "I will always be there for you" are the two things that I took most literally as a child.

Now that I'm an adult, I know better.

I remember I used to tease this duty lady on the playground and she tell me she was tired bla bla bla. I thought I was making her tired and I didn't want her to get too sleepy to do her job so I left her alone for the rest of the recess.

I remember when my mom would say she and dad had eyes at the back of her head. I wondered how do they even see through their hair.


I remember the time I was eight, my school principal asked me why have I been flipping boys off and I said I hadn't. I thought she was telling me I was flipping them. Like how you flip a coin or a piece of paper or paper clip with your fingers.

I remember the time when mom told me stupid was a bad word and so was idiot and one time I got in trouble for saying duh to her so I thought that was a bad word too. I even thought disgusting was a bad word. Any word I got in trouble for was a bad word. One day I learn the f word and it becomes my favorite word. Mom also forbids me using that word. I go to my new school and somehow figure out stupid wasn't a bad word nor were the other words my mother had claimed. So I thought the f word wasn't bad either and thought mother was wrong. I took her so literal. I still find this funny because it shows how lying to a child about what words are bad can backfire and it can be hard to teach them what word is truly bad because they will think you are wrong again. My mother was lucky I didn't think she lied to me.


I remember when I was 8, I was new at my school and I ask this random girl was her name is. She keeps saying Why. So I assumed her name was Why and thought it was a funny name. So I called her Why for the rest of the year and I remember her laughing in third grade when I called her that. Of course I had to hear someone call her name for me to know her real name. Then I stopped calling her Why and could never figure out why she lied to me about her name. I realize now she was just being unfriendly and thought it was none of my business.

I remember when I first heard the term sweet tooth, I thought it meant the character had a tooth that was too sweet.

I remember the time when I was 16, I was in Biology and our teacher tells us to wear the safety goggles and says the last time he didn't have his other class wear them and at the end of the day, Mr. E came in and caught him with his pants down. I asked him why did he have them down. I was shocked he had them down in his classroom than in the restroom so I had to wonder why he had them down in there.

In high school, this boy was talking in my class about the time he sold his truck. The buyer sold that truck to another person and it blew up while he was in there. I thought the person died and was surprised he was still alive so I started to ask a bunch of questions about it. I wanted to know how badly hurt the person was and how was he not hurt, how did he survive the flames without injuries. Then finally, the kid said "Not literally, I mean the stopped running."

I remember another time in high school, a student was working on the computer and my special ed teacher said that person was going to town. I said "No she is on the computer typing." Another time the teacher said someone was typing up a storm and all I thought she meant she was typing about a storm so I asked what storm she was writing about.

I remember the time when I was about 18, Mom and I were going to Missoula and she was explaining to me why the strong winds we have had that year ripped the siding off our house. She then said the men were cutting corners and I started to tell her how would they fit the siding on if they don't. So she starts explaining it and I keep saying they still have to cut the corners to put it on and how are they going to fit it when they are at the edges like when they get near the roof. Then mom explained to me it meant taking short cuts to get the job done faster.

On hearing that a person had laughed their head off I was apoplectic. Raining cats and dogs was merely a disappointment.

I still have a tendancy to take things literally. One guy at work said his job would be easier "after the new emu comes out". I'm sure he meant "emulator", but I spent the rest of the day trying to figure out what a flightless bird had to do with tech support.

My literal interpretations seem to be tied to my OCD tendencies. For instance, if someone asks for a couple, I give them TWO of whatever they asked for. However, people rarely say 'couple' when they mean 'two'...they usually mean several or a handful or something like that. Now I make sure to ask...do you want just two? I don't like when people say things that don't make sense, so sometimes my 'literal interpretation' might be stubborn refusal to acknowledge an alternate meaning...like when people say "I'm sweating like a pig", when pigs don't have sweat glands.

Also, I'll sometimes give very 'literal' directions to people, that may end of confusing them. When people ask how to get to the children's portion of the athletic club where I work, most of my co-workers say "go up the stairs and to the left." However, the stairs go to the left, so that when you reach the second floor, you're already oriented in the direction of the children's portion, so I say "when you get to the top of the stairs, follow the hallway straight down." This consistently confuses people (they'll usually end up asking: you mean, to the left?), but I can't bring myself to say "go to the left", because then the people would end up in the housekeeping break room.

Also, I used to respond very honestly to the question "How are you?" in situations when it's just meant as a form of greeting. I learned very quickly not to do that, because people would contort their faces into what could only be discomfort. haha.

Oh, I was once in the car with someone who asked me to "watch their back" as they were backing out of a parking space. I watched their back, alright...quite to their dismay.

That morality was something that people actually believed in, and didn't just pretend in order help themselves appear more socially acceptable.

Ignore this post...I tried editing my last one, and ended up quoting it instead.

"You can do anything you want if you put your mind to it." Let me just say, that one NEVER worked out well for me.

I remember being about 6 and in class. The teacher asked me to clean the white board. I was obviously not doing a very good job and she told me to 'put some elbow grease into it'. I had never heard that said before and I assumed she was talking about the cleaning fluid, so I put some more on the cloth. I don't think she was too pleased, but come on, who'd expect a 6yr old to know what that meant.

My mum often talks about when she was in a geography class. The teacher asked her where Greenland was and her response was, 'Page 23, at the top of the page'. I believe the teacher was looking for co-ordinates and chastised my mum for being a 'smart Alec'. She's 78 and still annoyed about that.