Opinions on school choice

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Hi, we are after some opinions from people who know best, which sort of school might suit our son better.
Although not definite, it seems more and more likely that our son will not receive any funding/assistance if he attends a government school. His test showed his IQ to be on the lower end of the normal range (the psychologist said she feels he should retest at a later stage as he was uncooperative for much of the test and thinks his IQ is higher than the scores showed) and all the professionals who have seen him have commented that he is very high functioning.

I have spoken to a mum of a boy who has Aspergers and attends our local school, and based on what she has told us, we have ruled it out. We have made the decision that our son will likely need to attend a private school. We have a choice of two and I would like some opinions;

The first school is a very small, a max of 30 students in three classrooms and goes from grade0 – grade 6. It is for children with “language and learning disorders who are not able to learn effectively in a mainstream setting”. They specialise in teaching children with Aspergers/HFA and ADHD and have been doing so for 35 years with the facilities such as individualised learning plans, perceptual motor programme, social skills training, speech therapy, arts programme and sports programme specifically designed. We had a look around the school and met with the principal and I was ‘almost sold’ pretty early on – it sounds like what we are looking for but my concerns are the following:
The school is only a primary school (elementary school), they have a “feeder” high school which is not an affiliation but is the school that most of the children attend once they enter high school. This High school caters more for children with ‘lower IQs’ and doesn’t have a regular high school curriculum which means that if DS attended this particular high school, he would not be eligible to go to university. I realise that this is putting the cart before the horse but we need to think long term. I also understand the he doesn’t necessarily need to attend this specific high school but my concern with being in such a small, close knit primary school to then attend a mainstream high school could be extremely overwhelming for him.

The alternate school is a private grammar school, which has small classes (around 15 -17) and also caters to the needs of the individual and has social skills groups and therapists on staff but is a mainstream school. He would go from junior school, middle and then high school with a full curriculum.
Part of me feels that as we live in a ‘mainstream’ world – long term, the mainstream school would be for his benefit and part of me feels that he has special needs and there is a school that caters specifically so we should choose that one.
My preference would be to send him to the specialised school initially and then if we (us and the school) feel he is ready, try and mainstream but this has two issues – as part of Australian curriculum, from grade 0 children learn a second language but this specialised school does not and so if we try and then send him to a mainstream school later on, he will be at a disadvantage. Also, my husband is apposed to changing schools as he did this a lot as a child and found it very difficult (even as a NT child).
So, I guess my questions is, knowing what you know now, what would your preference be? Somewhat mollycoddled or thrown in at the deep end (to a certain extent)?
Any advice or opinions appreciated,

edit - I should have included that DS seems (from my observations) so struggle with face blindness.

I'm Aspie (44yo), and my wife and I strongly suspect our eldest son (almost 7yo) is too. We're going through the process of getting him tested.

We home school, which is a lot easier here in Tasmania than in some other states, or so I've heard. We do it to get a good foundation for him, then maybe we'll look into regular schools in later years.

It's hard to advise, not knowing your son, but if uni is going to be a goal, then he is going to have to meet certain benchmarks. I never went to uni, though I wish I had (hindsight is 20/20), but as I understand it, uni might be more Aspie friendly that primary/secondary school, because we have more options to block out the distractions.

Back to benchmarks. It seems to me that he'll need to deal with students, teachers, and study subjects/techniques/load. The second option you listed seems more ideal to me. He'll learn more useful stuff there if you want a post-secondary school education. I suspect all of my brothers are undiagnosed Aspies, and none of us are what you'd call 'successful', but we got through the public school system; and your second option seems to offer more support than we got.

Unless there's real evidence that he's a special needs kid, I'd avoid going with the first option. There's a big difference between someone who can't go to uni, on the one hand, and someone who is going to need to live in an assisted accommodation setting in adulthood. There was no Aspie diagnosis or support on offer when I was young, and we were all treated as stupid. It did nothing for our self esteem. Build your son up.

So I'll say, go your second option; keep an eye on how he develops, special interests, academic leanings; be prepared to help him with anything he struggles with outside school hours; a nice quiet study area where he can lose himself in his own little world; and some outside activities.

Hope it works out.

Thanks DoniiMann

What you say makes a lot of sense and I completely agree that it's important to build my son up.

I wanted to add that although not on the spectrum, based on what I have read, I strongly suspect that I struggled (and still do) with dyslexia and attention-deficit growing up. I know that I am not stupid but I too wasn't given any help with 'tapping into my potential' and so I guess that's why I feel that he should be given the opportunity to go to uni if that's what he wants down the road. I am anxious that a mainstream school won't have the experience with helping him with that potential the way a 'specialist school' would.

Also, if you regret not studying a tertiary degree, it's never too late .
Good luck with your son, too - I think home schooling is incredibly admirable

Thanks Shellfish. Homeschooling is proving to be a good option for us.

Uni. Not too many options around here. Spose I could look into distance or online. But am happy just trying to teach myself to sew at the moment.

Keep well.