Why does this happen?

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Before I begin, I want to say that I live in a basement which has a stair and other flats in it, including mine.

Whenever I come back home, open my basement door and hear somebody walking down the stairs, I run outside and wait for at least 15 minutes to make sure that the person who's walking is gone. Also, whenever I'm walking down the street, and there aren't any people on the sidewalk except for one person, and they're walking in my direction (so that we face each other), I either cross the road or try to escape the situation as soon as I can. If I can't escape the situation, then I make sure that I distance myself from the person as far as possible, to the point of often rubbing the nearby buildings. I then look down and start walking fast to get past the person as soon as I can.

Why does this happen?

Social anxiety?

It sounds like some kind of anxiety or social phobia to me, but I'm no expert. The anxiety just happens because of an anxiety disorder but the actions (going back outside, crossing the street, etc) happen because you choose to take that action. I've had a severe anxiety disorder in the past, and developed agoraphobia from it. I stayed at home for years, only leaving with my husband or mother and only when I had no other choice. I chose to stay home, although it felt like I had no other choice at the time because leaving caused me huge emotional distress.

I could have literally moved my feet and walked out the door, got in the car and driven off, but the anxiety made me choose to stay at home. It may be very uncomfortable but you can choose to act in a different way in those situations. You can choose to continue going down the steps when you hear someone on them, you can choose to continue walking down the street making room for the other person. It may be very hard and you may feel an overwhelming urge to do what you normally do, but you do have control over your body and can choose to act a different way. It probably won't be comfortable, but it's possible.

Forcing yourslf to act in a way that is frightening or uncomfortable is very, very difficult, but if you continue to do so your brain will start to understand that those actions are not harmful and eventually the anxiety and urge to flee will lessen, and finally disappear. I had to have Xanax to help me leave the house because my anxiety level was so high. Well, I could have done it without xanax, but I chose to get the meds to make it much easier on myself and make it where I felt it was possible.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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Social anxiety doesn't have to be about socializing. It can be about any interaction with others whether there is conversation or actual interacting or just being around others. Anxiety can manifest in lots of ways, not just the feeling anxious or panic way that lots of people think of first.

I'd suggest forcing yourself to act in the appropriate way for a while and see how that works out. It sounds like it's interfering with your life to some extent already, so nipping it in the bud is probably the best way to go.

Good luck!

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

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Yeah, this is social anxiety.

I don't know why you're so reluctant to accept that term as a name for it, but that is what it is called.

Whats the worst that could happen if you did make eye contact or pass them in the hall? It's really a choice of forcing yourself to behave in a way that won't inconvenience you and seeing that nothing terrible happens, or continuing to avoid them and keep inconveniencing yourself.

One thing that helped me was asking myself what was the worst that could happen? When I would be afraid of the grocery store because of panic attacks I had to look at that. What could have happened was 1) I'd get an attack at the store and have to leave. 2) I'd get a really bad attack and ask someone to call 911 for me, and then deal with the paramedics. 3) I'd pass out from one (I never passed out from one) and someone would call 911. None of those things would kill or hurt me. Only the first one happened.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

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Are you on any meds? Some meds are known to cause xenophobia. There is also the possibility of OCD and/or paranoia. CBT is what they usually recommend to help people through this sort of thing but it does depend on the cause. If social anxiety doesn't feel like a fit to what you feel, check out the other possibilities and see if you see any similarities.

I agree with OliveOilMom on this one. You should get yourself used to being in the same room or house as that person and train yourself not to walk out for 15 minutes. It might be hard at first, but it will get easier after a while.

I used to have problems with things like this to an extent, still have the feelings but I feel like I've acquired tools to deal with it.

For me it was fear of just not being able to either keep my nonverbal composure at appropriate NT level of response for long spans (like someone walking toward me to pass on a forty yard walkway - especially who I knew and had to at least stay 'hi' to) or I'd have fear of not having the right nonverbal behavior ready or prepared for the right people if their presence and everything about them caught me by surprise (which sounds like your issue of immediate proximity at your front door).

The thing I did learn from NT friends is just to keep my head and eyes upward, assertively looking forward, keep a semi-pleasant expression in a sense to show no fear and no sign that you even have thoughts or concerns that would be pulling at you, etc.. The overall idea though is to try and act 'crisp'. I don't know where you're located, at least where I live in the US as well as most other places I've been that usually implies looking confident but at the same time not really acknowledging other people - unless you need to - sort of to convey that your confidently about your own business, that if someone wants to try at your territory to talk to you they'll have to earn it, etc. etc..

In general I would say what your dealing with falls under social anxiety but its more in line with apprehension and overprocessing that comes with AS. In your case you may have a very similar scenario to myself where your knowledge of social skills, theory of mind, etc. significantly surpasses what you can relay - successfully - through your face or physical gestures, hence you have a lot of anxiety realizing that people read your facial expressions and what not much differently than they read other people's (or at least come to very different conclusions if you aren't careful). The best solution you can really come up with for that is what I mentioned; have something like a one-size-fits-most-situations approach, use it, and try to psychologically and emotionally disconnect yourself from success or failure in this area (particularly failure), especially if things don't work as well as planned and giving it your all still wasn't enough. The main point - try to keep yourself from building up more residual anxiety about the matter by trying to diminish just how much it means, in a negative sense, if you are in situations where it fails. To this day I fail all the time but at the same time knowing myself and gaining self-assurance in other areas has helped me be a bit more teflon about it as well as the fact that now I don't feel like other people's negative energies toward me or accusing stairs penetrate and sort of mind-control my mental state the way they used to.