Maybe I have AS?

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Hi everyone, I'm new here and think I may have AS...

I'll keep this short - I have chronic fatigue & reading & writing are exhausting.

- I'm pretty (very) sure my mother and probably my brother have AS, have thought so for years - it was like a huge revelation to me when I heard about Asperger's. Finally something explained my mother who I had always found a bit odd and kind of unreachable...

- Main thing that got me thinking about me was I heard Tony Attwood on the radio the other day talking about women with Asperger's. He mentioned that they can develop a social self / persona by observing and copying & actually seem quite socially competent BUT, it's sort of a false self so it's very exhausting to keep this up and therefore to be in social situations. Also, they can feel confused about their identity. Can be chameleons.
This sums me up like nothing I have ever heard or read.

- I certainly get overstimulated / overwhelmed by social situations, crowds, some lighting, shopping centres, barking dogs etc. In stressful situations I sometimes freeze and literally can't speak. I can't think or make decisions.

- I need heaps more time alone than anyone I know. I guess it's the only time I can let go of that social persona.

- My time management is unbelievably bad. I get upset because I really try to get my little girl to school etc on time but usually I just can't manage it.

- Routines - yes, OCD - yes, Obsessions - yes, NO sense of direction, very concerned with the truth / honesty.

- No motivation, concentration or organisation except for obsession at the time.

- Have always dreaded having to do small talk. Don't get it.

- I am in a state of nervous hyper arousal almost all the time except when I'm very depressed.
My emotions are irritated, angry, rage, often tears of frustration, and with depression I guess hopelessness and despair and fear. I am diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and PTSD.

- My main reason for thinking I might be wrong is that I think I have pretty decent theory of mind...

Would love any thoughts,
Zel

Sounds like you have aspergers as far as i know

I have all these symptoms too, gets a little hard to manage sometimes, but learning more about autism has made me feel better and i understand more about myself

Do you have difficulty with eye contact and social cues? Thats a good sign too.

Could you go see a professional to find out? Thats what I did when someone with AS started talking to me about it assuming that I knew I had it. He explained what it was to me and told me he thought I knew I had it. I researched it, then made an appointment with a therapist.

Thanks Vomelche,

I know I consciously remind myself to make eye contact every now and then in conversation. I don't think it comes totally naturally.
With the social cues, I don't know. Could you give me some examples?

Frances, Yes I have an appntmnt next week with an AS specialist. How is it diagnosed? It sounds like a lot of expensive tests...
I'm in Australia by the way.

Thanks for reading,
Zel.

social cues is like when people expect you to react to things a certain way in a social setting i think, they can be communicated by questions, gestures or eye contact, and people with autism don't always notice or react to them normally

I dont know about diagnosis in Australia, I read a post here somewhere that it is difficult to get a proper diagnosis there, you might wanna search the forums. But really a diagnosis is not always accurate. I would also refer you to this article on WP:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/article309.html

Thanks Vomelche,

I'm really keen to get an official diagnosis (if I do have AS) because I sort of obsess over trying to figure myself (and others) out. Even with my diagnoses of bipolar2 and PTSD, I feel there's a piece of the puzzle missing.

Luckily, I live very near the centre that was set up by Tony Attwood and his colleagues / students & I have an appointment next week.

I'm just wondering if the psychologist can diagnose mainly from talking to someone, or if you have to do all the hours of tests to get a diagnosis. Guess I'll find out next week.

Best, Zel.

It's not just women with Aspergers that are like that - I'm the same way; many of us are. I have an external persona that is actually very different from my actual self. On long days this can leave me quite exhausted, but I often break persona for a large part of the day, and "choose my battles". i.e. I will use the persona when I know I will be in a situation where it is more needed, but neglect to use it for the rest of the day, for the most part.

This semester (last one, finally), I have my German literature class at the end of the day. This is a class that requires you to read a whole bunch of German literature and talk about it in class, in German. However, by the time I get there, I've already gone from work, to school, to work, then home, then to school again, and gone from speaking English to German to English to Russian to German to English and then to German.... and then back home to English again... every Tuesday and Thursday. This semester in German, I've done very little speaking (I always say at least one thing during class, though, because speaking is a major component and I feel like I'm disappointing the professor if I don't say at least one thing). However, during that class I pretty much do not make any eye contact, I stare wherever, often at the floor, allow my hands to do their shaking thing (they just kind of shake if I let them, occasionally. It's not a big shake, but like a little continuous tremor.), etc.


If I were you I'd seek professional opinions; and don't be afraid to get multiple opinions.

I can't help much there though, I was diagnosed in early childhood.