Going out in public.

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I was wondering if anyone had any ways to cope with going on eg. walking down the street. I tend to keep my head down but then i end up walking into things and someone actually told me to keep my 'chin up' once (a random stranger) Anyway it is very uncomfortable when i am out and about on my own as i can't stand people being close to me or looking at me, i have to get the bus alot so I end up looking at the floor the whole time and not realising i am in the way.

I sometimes struggle with a fact that I have to get outside among people almost everyday... The way I cope is I don't usually go outside (alone) without some kind of music in my ears... The music helps me to ignore everyone around me and therefore I don't have to think about them... I never make eye contact with strangers but I still observe them whenever I can... If they make any notion to watch me I usually look away...

I actualy have fine senses about when people look at me... So I usually know when I shouldn't look up to meet their eyes...

But yeah... Music helps me a lot...

I zig zag down streets trying to avoid people.

Put your hood up, only go out after dark?

I thought about listening to music but i'm afraid i would draw more attention to myself, which is a silly thing to think i know.

I also zigzag, i tend to cross over to an empty side if i see one.

Don't do this. It makes you look vulnerable. Look straight ahead and expressionless.

Like a robot?

I have to keep my head down because I can't see where I am walking! I used to get told to keep my 'chin up' a lot but they are usually quite embarrassed when they realise I have a guide cane and wouldn't be able to see exactly where they are anyway! My Mum gave up on 'chin up' years ago because I took it literally and started walking around with my chin up!

No, that isn't helpful either. Perhaps you could take a look at videos on YouToob of people walking and see how they do it. You need to come across as though you're doing it naturally, too.

Advice noted, thanks!

As long as you use headphones people won't think about it... Besides... It doesn't matter what other people think... I'm trying to live by that and just mind my own business... And I'm doing pretty good at the moment... And so can you... It just takes a lot of practice...

I'm always keeping my head down when I walk (with music in my ears, always). The main reason is that otherwise I would just get overwhelmed by all those people, cars, sounds, flickering lights... i don't care if people find that strange or what.
I guess if I walked with my chin up I would just look like a robot ready to kill somebody.

There was a time when I recognised people by the shoes they were wearing

Do you walk around inside your house with your head down all the time? If not, then walk outside like you do inside. If you have to look at the ground outside to keep from tripping over things, keep your head semi-up and glance down at the ground ahead of you with your eyes.

As for people noticing you, so what if they do? People notice each other as they pass but most people do not dwell on strangers they pass on the street. You notice them also. They obviously don't care what you, or others, think so why should you care what they think? People glance at you so they don't run into you, then they glance at the person behind you, etc. You are not important to them. You are just another person out and about doing things. Some people smile, or nod, or say hello as they pass. You don't have to do anything back or speak back to them. Some people do, others don't. It doesn't really matter, it's each person's own personal preference and nobody notices or puts any stock in it whatsoever.

The best way to go out in public and not be self conscious, etc is to remember that you do not matter to others. Not one bit, unless you are hurt and calling for help. Otherwise, you are just some anonymous person they pass on the street. Some people are idiots and make fun of, comments to, or laugh at random people. They do that to lots of other people too, and they don't matter one bit. Ignore them, as they usually have some kind of problem themselves that cause them to do that. Everybody else ignores them as well. Remember, that when you go out in public, you are nothing more than part of the scenery to others and as everybody else is, a moving obstacle that they don't want to run into, the same as everybody else is to them, and everybody else is to you.

If you want to wear earbuds and carry your ipod or whatever, do it. That doesn't call attention to you at all. Lots of people do that. People don't usually give a second thought to others they see out and about. They think about you for maybe two seconds as they pass you and thats it. If they think about you at all. Usually it's just automatic to move over a foot or so, so that you don't run into each other.

When I was younger I would walk into things because I was looking at the ground - I would concentrate on the cracks in the sidewalk. Now I make a conscious effort to keep my head up. I try to look into the distance like I'm thinking about something. I don't use earpods - I don't want to be distracted and then get startled by something.

I find going out in public very difficult, but it's something that has to be done. I am capable of doing it, but it just makes me feel anxious. Here's a little list of things what make me anxious of going out in public, what some other people here will most probably relate to:-

Other people
This is the number 1 thing that makes me feel anxious: other people. Especially now that I know that public places aren't just a way from getting to point A to point B, but has also turned into a ''I'm better than you!'' compitition, in other words, you got to wear clothes and act in a way that makes you blend in, which all accords to your age, gender, religeon, and environment. It's difficult, especially when people don't realise that people with social/learning difficulties also have got as much right to use public places as anybody else, and that some of us haven't got a choice but to go out. I just wish NTs had more consideration for other people's feelings, then I think Social Anxiety would be reduced in lots of people, Aspie or not.

Supermarkets
I don't hate supermarkets, but again it's the people in the supermarkets what make it more stressful. Lots of people admit it, but they can block the crowds out better than I can. I'm always standing in someone's way; there's always somebody creeping up from behind me and suddenly I see an arm creep out from nowhere to snatch the exact item I am standing in front of, which makes me jump, and then I turn around to see some prick glaring up at me snapping, ''excuse me!'' - and the person or people I'm with never get in the way. Even my Aspie friend, who is as awkward as me, doesn't seem to get in people's way in supermarkets.

Kids
Kids spoil everything. You can't eat a meal in a restaurant, or go shopping, or get/wait for a bus or train, or do anything else like that without someone's baby screaming and bawling. It's so distracting, I can't concentrate on anything else, and it causes hatred. Parents even bring them into the library so the peace is shattered there aswell. And the school-aged kids spoil the summer by having half the summer off, and the teenagers make everywhere feel intimidating when you're on your own because they loiter about and are mostly upto no good and don't seem to have any respect for anyone.

Loud noises
This also makes me anxious. Cars bibbing when they go by me (even if the people in the car don't know me), sirens blarring on as they pass me, dogs barking (especially if they are tied up outside shops), kids screaming, loud motorbikes, other loud vehicles, and workers in shops throwing crates down making that sudden loud irritating bang.

I keep my head down when I walk too. If not I trip over things like uneven sidewalks.

So how do people who walk with their heads up manage not to trip up over uneven ground or anything?