What was your childhood like?

Post Reply New Topic

What was your childhood like? Were you an outcast at school? Did you play with other children outside of school? Did you have any friends?

I don't recall a single friend at school until 7th grade - except two girls who each invited me to their house once. I did play with the kids who lived next door after school. I was very energetic a lot of the time and liked to run around playing hide and seek, cops and robbers type games and climbing trees and onto the roof.

I also played alone a lot at home and at school, during recess, hung out at the edge of the playground looking at leaves and sticks and that playground equipment thing that goes round and round like a merry-go-round. (Don't know its official name). It was such a relief not to be in the classroom which was like a torment to me. In 6th grade, when I attended two different schools, I was an outcast and hung with other girls who were also being ostrascised. I felt comfortable with them.

I had a reasonable number of toys - my favorite being a collection of little soldier figurines and model horses. But I did not like to share playing with them with other kids. I didn't really play that much with them either. I more liked having them and looking at them.

I never had friends until the 9th grade, and I've had the same single friend ever since.

When I was very little (4-6), I used to get bored/annoyed with the kids my parents would arrange for me to play with, and would hide in closets or under beds and play with flashlights (I liked changing the batteries and replacing the light bulbs). When asked to come out and play with the other kids, I would say "The boy [or my first name] doesn't want to come out," (Edit: I don't remember referring to myself in third person, but my mom tells me I did it constantly when I was little). I was a jerk of a kid, too.

I was home-schooled with a group of other kids for most of my life, and sent to a private school for a few years. During recess/breaks, I would wander through the field near the school and catch grasshoppers. One or two of the girls used to wander around with me, but I hardly ever talked to them. I liked them, I just didn't know what to say.

Outside school, my mom would take me with this home-school group on "field trips" to state parks, and I would interrupt the guide to point out orb-weaver spiders (I had a bit of an obsession over them). Otherwise, I rarely interacted with anyone, or spoke up for anything.

I spent one year in a public high school (9th grade) and eventually dropped out because my anxiety started plateauing due to constant conflict with other people in the school (bullies/social confusion, etc..). Got my GED just after dropping out.

Last edited by kestrel on 17 Feb 2012, 6:53 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Alright with school and the kids, but with the adults - my childhood would have been better if I were an adult myself; I was constantly scolded for being a kid and doing things kids do.

I feel like I wasted my childhood. Because I never 'played' or explored as much as I could have, I wish I was more social and more like a 'normal' kid. I cried my way through school so I hardly had any friends because I used to get too stressed out. I spent too much time alone and now wish I wasnt so miserable, I should have just enjoyed myself. . . Im still very much the same to be honest, wasting my time by existing in my own meaningless company.

My childhood was a mixed experience... At home I played with my big sister and our dog... She introduced me to one of her classmate's little sister who became my first real friend... My parents were not that much around in the early years and when I was 10 my Mom got hospitalized because of sclerosis and became a stay-at-home-Mom... My Dad was almost always working until I was about 19-20 when he was hospitalized with a pre stage of lung-cancer... They are both alive (thank God) but none of them are working anymore do to their health-problems...

In school I was the outcast of the class... My interests were different than the other's and I had a hard time mixing with the children my own age... I was mentally bullied from 1st to 8th grade and I had no friends in my class... I got a few friends outside of school though but I found the social game really hard but they helped me whenever I needed it... But they were in a different school than me so the school hours were almost literally hell to me... One of my teachers tried to help me all she could but aside from my parents she was the only one trying... Even the principal didn't do anything even though my parents contacted him several times...

In any school I went to, I had only very few friends. Didn't have any friends outside of school as there wasn't anything specific I did on a regular basis outside of school. Any time I finished a school, I'd lose contact with those few close friends, it seems that the only reason I had contact was because I saw them every day.

I was the outcast of the class in any class, regularly made fun of since I was 'different'. No one but just a few people seemed to care about it though. The bullying started when I was 10 and lasted until I was 17, which is when I started going to college. Spent most high school lunch breaks on my own.

Just now I'm actually properly exploring and doing things that I should have done way before, I guess I was just too miserable to do any of that when I still went to school.

However, the worst part of my childhood probably is that adults often didn't take me serious since I was 'just a kid', very annoying

I didn't have friends, but I did play with other kids until they got annoyed by me. Sad, but it's true.

I had a swimming pool and nice toys so that probably helped.

I spent most of my summers in the pool, or out in the mountains behind my house building dams in the stream.

In the winter, I went to the library and shot ball in a gym.

I never had friends over for birthday parties, but I can remember one year someone I invitied acutally showed up and my dad yelled at me for staying in my bedroom.

I got jumped coming off the school bus one year by a girl that I thought was my friend, her brother and her cousin. After that my dad took me to school and I rode a differnet bus home.

I wasn't bullied much in school. The kids in my class were different and most of the popular kids went to the same church as me. Also, my twin sister was quite popular.

I had friends, and did normal stuff like play games at school. Out of school I'd play Football in the back lane or over the park, we'd ride around on our bikes etc. But I never really had any close friends. That was at Primary School. At secondary school I did feel isolated at times. No one was ever nasty to me, but no one was really close to me either. I suppose tolerated might be an apt term. A few months ago I bumped into a lad I went to school with, we both happened to be catching the same train from Birmingham back up to Newcastle and were sitting across the aisle from one another, and he was saying about how popular I'd been with people at school. That broke my heart. I thought, well I wish someone had told me that at the time.

Aside from that, things were OK. I had toys. I didn't get everything my own way, but I got plenty of stuff I did want. My parents got divorced when I was 13, but it was amicable, no custody battles etc. I lived with my mam because my dad moved out and it was easier to stay where we were, but I saw my dad whenever I wanted without having to ask permission etc. He only moved a 5 minute walk away, so there were no problems, and actually my parents became friends, and remain so today.

Both my parents have never shown anything but love for me. My dad would teach me about music, played me Blues records.

My mother nurtured my interest in Football. A fan herself, she'd take me to games, away games as well as home ones.that used to amuse a few people at my school, that it was my Mam that was the big Football fan rather than my dad.

What was my childhood like? Hell is a good way to describe it. Was I an outcast at school, universal scapegoat and emotional punching bag was a better way to describe it. Only when my parents would arrange a playdate, but I would usualy just get bored with them and retreat into my bedroom so the answer is probably no. When I was in the earlier grades like first and second grade and was actualy popular until late secound grade when my best friend got moved to another bus and started behaving as if I didn't exist anymore. s**t really hit the fan at the start of third grade and I didn't have any friends until fourth grade when the teachers faciliated a friendship between me and a new girl. We lost contact when my parents pulled me out of public school to homeschool me and I was starting to see she was a negative influnce.

I was silent as the grave until 6 years old at which point I started speaking in full sentences with good vocabulary. I have never fit in at school and have suffered greatly for it. Despite this I have had some friends and life has been good but ultimately I was depressed and outcast. Now I'm 17 and finally with people who value my uniqueness rather than punish it and things are good.

Not sure if I could describe mine with one or a few words. Also depends on what you'd consider childhood. Guess I'm an adult now, but most of my life has only been childhood, so perhaps that would affect my judgement based on what is more recent versus what I can honestly view in retrospect.

I believe one of my earliest memories was getting my tonsils taken out - shortly before, and then after the procedure. Can recall asking the nurse for stuff like ice cream or chips and not being able to talk much. Probably my most "indifferent" memory.

Learning to ride a bike was fun. Wanted to get the training wheels off as soon as possible. Guess I felt they restricted me too much. Scrapped my knee pretty badly not too long after, but wasn't really deterred.

The first friend I had was this girl, Rachel, who lived on the first floor of the same apartment we lived in. I remember going to a few of her birthday parties, making gifts, picking flowers for her. Asked her to marry me once. She said no and took off. I also remember being afraid of her dog, which I guess might be part of why I hate dogs in general.

Went to speech therapy. Can't recall ever detail, but I know I went for a while, maybe for months if not years.

First day of kindergarten didn't go so smoothly. Didn't know my dad would just abandon me. First 10-15 minutes I spent there were crying and being held by the teacher. Eventually I made some friends and didn't mind it so much. I think there was one time I'd wondered what the sand in the sandbox might taste like, and fortunately was stopped before I took a big gulp of it.

Soon we'd moved into a new apartment not too far away, still in the same town. Something to do with Rachel's father, who owned the place, refusing to fix the roof. Ah well. So, anyway, this new place wasn't bad. Felt more fun to explore as I got older, too. Less traffic so my brother and I could ride around, maybe go off into the woods and build a treehouse.

First, though, we had to go through school. First grade was a cakewalk. Even then, the two after it, all I could think of was about how easy it felt, and as a result it felt boring and mundane and a waste of my time. I can remember asking myself why in the world did they need me to learn any of it when I already knew it all? Recess soon became the only part I really found decent about school. The rest was like a prison.

Not all was bad. Max was the first friend I'd made since knowing Rachel who'd actually meant anything to me. I had others, but they were not my main focus, I guess you could say. Rachel was in the same class, too, but for whatever reason we were distant. There was this other girl who I'd made fun of, which is funny because now I'm the one struggling with it. That's karma for you right there.

Matt was the first and perhaps only other person with autism I've known in person. I wasn't exactly jealous of him, but he got things like a bean bag chair to sit in, or M&M's whenever he misbehaved(what??) while I was expected to be like everyone else. The most I got was a rubber band on my chair to bounce my legs off of, and even then I couldn't do that a lot of the time. I didn't mind it so much, though, I guess because I didn't really want those things or to have to rely on an aid, and because I didn't mind Matt himself.

Lunch was always loud. I drowned much of it out when talking with Max or the others, but I guess the teachers got annoyed with it. One day they'd taken away our recess because nobody would keep quiet. I thought that if at least I did, I'd be fine, but apparently they were a bunch of commies and punished every kid regardless. In any case, I was angry, and since I felt that talking to anyone wouldn't make me feel any better, I drew a picture instead. I suppose I was a bit stupid, because she didn't actually have anything to do with it, but I drew myself stabbing my teacher. Didn't intend for her to see it, but I guess she found it when I'd made a trip to the bathroom.

Got a one day out of school suspension that I had to spend at my grandparents'. Going in to get the schoolwork I would be doing was hard. My teacher was there in tears. Still don't know why I chose to draw her and not any of the others, as I liked her best, even mistakenly called her mom once or twice, and it was painful to see her cry because of something I did.

Mother was pissed at the punishment the school decided to give me. She figured that it really was not fitting, since as far as I was concerned, getting out of school for any reason at all was a good thing. So soon my three siblings and I were homeschooled. She was not always around all the time due to work, but we made it through til graduating highschool.

Shortly before I turned 13, we moved again, this time to a new town. First house my parents own and currently where we're still living. Meant to stay in touch with Max, but really was just on my own and had to make new fiends. Really was not too successful, and instead spent most of my time either playing games or on the internet. My brother, whom was much more social, spent a lot of his own time in a the shed we got, messing with bike parts or car parts or other mechanic stuff. Weather seemed to go well with our mood; bleak and dreary and just generally ******.

That October I asked this girl, Alanie, out. Only time I've ever really done that outright. Surprisingly the response was positive. However, it only lasted two weeks. Not surprising, really. Couldn't do much and I really wasn't too interesting to be around as it was. Even so, I got upset and stopped talking to her, perhaps due to my own insecurities more than anything, but at the time I still blamed her for how I felt. That Halloween, instead of going out for candy, my brother, a few of his new friends, and I had our own little party. First time I ever got drunk, and I believe one of the only times I've ever fallen asleep sitting up in a chair. Not particularly fun, especially compared to other times I've drunk since, but still I guess it's worth something.

Since then I guess I was depressed. I really did not do much of anything other than what was absolutely necessary. Most days were spent in bed, in the dark, just thinking or sleeping the day away. Guess I was angry at myself because my brother had already been with loads of girls and got rid of his dreaded virginity, as did his friends, while I could not even keep one person interested in me for so long. Got to be insecure about near everything about myself.

At least socializing on the internet helped at least somewhat. I was eventually able to make new friends, maybe even what you could call a girlfriend for the span of about 2 and a half years. Alanie did somehow get a hold of me, and annoyed me, playing mind games and then having the nerve to tell me I needed help. Bleh. Guess others helped enough so that I soon would want to actually do something with my life again. Got a job at around 16 I believe, working at Pizza Butt as a dishwasher.

That didn't turn out well, either. Sure, some things were better with more money to spend, and I learned to put up with others' BS better, but I think I came out of it more bitter than anything. There were a few pretty waitresses there, maybe something more if I read them half as well as I thought I did and might have even gotten the balls to ask one out, but the feeling that I was perceived as disgusting or creepy or lazy did not help my self esteem. As for other co-workers, it felt to me that most of them were lazy, and were happy enough to take as many breaks or days off as they wanted so long as I could do some of their work for less pay. You could say I was stupid for quitting, and I probably was as I still do not have a job now despite having searched for years, but I felt that if I'd stayed there any longer, I would have eventually hurt somebody, perhaps more than just a simple assault. There was not one person I did not at least resent.

I did manage to make some friends over Xbox Live, thanks to the money I got. They've probably been the most consistent and closest and, with a couple exceptions, I still talk to them now. So I guess that's one good thing I haven't messed up yet.

Most recently I've found my way here through randomly assorted youtube videos covering autism as well as my own curiosity about it and how something I've had my whole life might or might not be affecting me.

Guess that's my whole life story as well as childhood. Sorry for writing so much.

I was blissfully ignorant of the need for social relationships as a child. My mom says I acted completely indifferent to other kids from an early age. I played near them, but played alone, and if they approached me to try and get me to play with them, I would ignore them.

They tested me in grade 2 or so and determined I was "gifted" and put me in enrichment programs, but I never really felt like I was one of the smart kids. I wasn't brilliant, had no common sense, and really just wanted to immerse myself in the things I was interested in and leave the rest. I remember I loved logic puzzles, the ones where you had a grid and it gave you clues and you had to determine which "x" went with which "y", like x were people and y were their dogs and it gave you clues and you had to figure out which dog went with which person. Like these: http://www.logic-puzzles.org/init.php

I had 2 friends throughout grade school, and the one I hung out with most was bookish, and what we usually did was read books separately, in the same room.

In middle school they discovered I had an encyclopedic knowledge of books I'd read, and I'd read a lot of books. They recruited me to the "Battle of the Books" team, which was a group of students who would compete against other schools - we would be given clues about a book and we would have to name its author and title. I was really good at this. We made it to the finals, but lost by one point. We could have won, the final book clue was for The Hunchback of Notre Dame and I knew it was by Victor Hugo, but I was sitting out that round because we had too many teammates and someone had to sit out. No one else knew the answer, and it took everything I had to refrain from shouting it out, even though I wasn't playing that round. Battle of the Books still goes on in my region, there's a mock battle here: http://bookbattle.ca/mockbattle.php

I didn't feel the need for socializing or relationships until I was 22. But this thread is about childhood, not adulthood.

Last edited by Dots on 17 Feb 2012, 8:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

hmm friends...
I had lots of friends, I guess I was lucky, in 6th grade however I became attracted to a romanticized ideal of being a loner so I rejected all my old friends and was a loner until grade 10 when I decided to be "normal". Grade 10/11 I had a really close knit group of friends at school, they were girls too and my best friend in the group was hot, she had a crush on me too but I was oblivious, she confessed to me when she moved away in grade 11.
I never hung out with them or anyone really outside of school except for my one friend who I knew since being a baby, he's the kind of friend you see a few times a year, although one summer in highschool we hung out every day and smoked weed.
I switched schools in grade 12, met my current best friend at work, I became a heavy drinker and stoner in that period, tried to be a badass...

As a kid I was quite weird. I was scared of other people's parents, like I wouldn't ask to go pee or to have a snack...
I was definitely more aspieish back then.
When I was a teenager I never once had a girlfriend either. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18. I was really naive as a teenager too.

So? Why do so many people have such a big deal with virginity? 18 isn't "late". It isn't anything. I'm nearly 22 and I still haven't and that doesn't bother me one bit. Those two statements I've quoted from you are in no way abnormal. People, whether they're NT or aspie, are ready when THEY'RE ready. End of story.

It was mostly emotionally and mentally invalidating. My parents aren't to blame for alot of it either.