Hyper-empathy in aspergers

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My mind is a sponge for souls. I'll change based on who I feel hyper-empathy for at any given time, whether it's a poisonous normie, a hylic, an academic. My framework of perception can change entirely, I'll take on their brain capacity (their mental limits will fortify in my mind, there's no way around it, like their mind has hijacked my own), and I'll take on their values secondary to this. I've always said I'm everything while simultaneously nothing.

The only ways around this are to either:
1 - Find a new person I primarily empathise with (based on circumstance and coincidence)
2 - Ascribe idealistic traits to the person themselves, to then take them on myself
3 - Take years to form a self-perception through (2), creating a positive mental feedback loop.

Does anyone else have this level of hyper-empathy or perceive excessive agency in other people's minds? How much does it infect your mind, soul, objects (clothing you've worn around them, objects they've given you, other abstract things of yours they've had access to), and framework of perception?

I'd rather not have hyper-empathy, whether I have it or not; other people's feelings just dysregulates me and my emotions, whether it's mine or not, influences me too much to a point it will derail me at any point and I'd act contrary to my conscious intentions.


I can sense things. But I ignore them. I pass it off as some sort of automatic assumption.
I've yet to learn how to be truly detached without the aide of hormones boosting my executive functions.

Whether it's accurate or not, it's still isn't as worth it.
Wishing I'm alexithymic. Wishing I'm not human.

Wishing there are ways for me to dissociate from it other than the defence mechanisms that can be a huge energy drain.

I don't know how to be naturally detached, and acceptance of feelings hadn't helped me.

Because my relationship with emotions still suck. I still don't trust my feelings.
The other bits in one's human psyche complicates things.


I'd rather have the idea of caring and sympathy a conscious and deliberate choice, than something that compelled me.

My ego is big. My pride is high. I get that.
But on the other side? Sure but... Not yet. Not completely.

As for my limbic system, I feel like a parent unwillfully pressured and obligated to take care of some child that I spent so many years not wanting to do with it because it kept stealing the driver's seat from me.

That, on top of other internal senses to contend with? Nuh uh.

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What a great topic/ contemplation.
I'm with you.

I've never considered it this succinctly- that a possible cost/risk of a social contract is my own unique agency/ personality. I'm thinking of the distinction between "social symbiant-ism" as codependent behavior and "social symbiosis" as independence, because, for context, I recently got out of a living situation with a social vampire.
Over the course of this relationship I was able to maintain my own identity, because they were someone I didn't vibe with, but because of circumstances I had to be around them a lot. I did, maybe to a lesser degree to what you describe; enter their world, gave them the benefit of the doubt way too many times, get role-cast, get taken advantage of, essentially losing my agency of identity.

My hyper-empathy has led me into so many cycles of emotional abuse and manipulation over the years: in work situations, in 'friendships', with my family, with perfect strangers on the street...I'm so often the nice guy who ends up being too nice, people pleasing, overwhelming, bridge burning, and then being the one to apologize for being taken advantage of in the end.

From a buddhist perspective, one that assumes no true will or self, I am free to choose who I want to be, and am also free to let others be by not clinging to attachment of who I want them to be.

From a gnostic perspective (since you mention Hylics), it makes me think that Yaldabaoth is the god of communication.

I think people often want you to have exclusive empathy. Empathy only for them or the group. To me, that kind of defeats the point of empathy. It's like saying to have a heart but don't it let get far. Or have a brain but don't use it much. I naturally play Devil's Advocate in situations, seeing the other perspective.

Being able to simulate other's feelings and thoughts can be overwhelming, especially since so many people are struggling these days. You'd like to help but are afraid to make it worse at the same time. Or you just know that you're not really able to help.

I don't think I feel real love or empathy, which was something I noticed as a teenager and just acted like I did so I wouldn't look like a psychopath. I'd already been diagnosed (wrongly) with some form of schizophrenia and medicated for it.