Yesterday I realised I can't answer the phone.

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Normally there is somebody else in the house, and if the call is for me they'll tell me, "It's ______ wanting to speak to you." And I'm OK with that.
Yesterday, I was the only one in the house and the phone rang. I realised that I couldn't pick it up - I'm too anxious, because I don't know who is calling. I can answer my mobile fine, because it shows the name of the caller, but the house phone gives no indication at all so I just don't feel comfortable answering.

Anyone else have this problem?

I do the same thing; unless I'm expecting a call from an unfamiliar number (like if a company is calling me about an internship I applied for) I just look at it ring and then wait for a voicemail. If there's no voicemail, I never call back.

I freeze up when there's a knock on the door or when the doorbell rings.

I used to have that problem, very much so! For years I was basically incapable of answering the phone by myself, but even answering the phone after someone else took it and I knew who was at the end of the line was nearly impossible! I'd just stutter and make myself sound like a fool. I also still have a lot of difficulty calling people. I prefer e-mail, texting, seeing people face-to-face, or skyping. I just have very strong difficulties talking to people when I hear their voice but can't see them.

With time I got somewhat better, but I still have moments that make it very difficult for me to answer the phone. Thanks to Caller ID though, even the house phone shows who's calling nowadays, so it helps a lot. I have all kinds of rules in order to decide whether I answer a phone call or not:
- if the phone call comes from someone in our contacts or a local phone number, I will answer without a problem, as it's normally someone I know or who knows someone I know.
- if it's not a local phone number, I will answer only if I feel up to it. Often I do, but not always.
- if the caller disabled Caller ID, I will not answer the phone. That's actually not only my rule, but a generic rule at my place that my husband (who is NT) and I agreed on. The call will go to the answering machine, and if the person leaves a message we'll decide then whether we want to answer the phone or not. The main reason is that here many telemarketers disable Caller ID, despite it being forbidden by law.

But I know exactly how you feel, having felt that way for a long time and still occasionally suffering from this issue. Caller ID is really the best thing that ever happened to phone technology!

I cannot give you advice on how to get better though, except to have a house phone installed with Caller ID. I know it's the only thing that helped me get my anxiety levels down enough that I can now sometimes answer the phone even if I don't know who's calling.

i also freeze up whenever i have to answer the phone or the door, but i can usually calm myself down far enough to answer on autopilot; if i see it's a familiar person (either by caller id or looking out the window), it becomes a lot easier, and i can answer/greet 'normally' after i get over the first 5/6 seconds of shock

You should see about getting caller ID on the house phone. That way you will see who it is. The problem with not answering the phone, is that it could be something very important. There coule have been an accident, someone could have gotten sick and be in the hospital, etc and the person calling only has the house number, not your cell number. Caller ID isn't that much, and you can get either cordless phones with the ID screen built in, or the little box that sits by a corded phone.

While this is true, I feel like the possibility of the call being something important that the person answering is completely unprepared for is a major component of the anxiety.

I discovered I had a phone phobia in my first day at work at a summer job, in a bank's foreign exchange section. I quickly realised that I couldn't even hear the people on the other end, with the background noise going on and experienced my very first migraine, at the end of the day (I'm not prone to them). I had no clue what anyone was going on about, even though the work in the bank was pretty straight forward. I was a nervous wreck for 3 months.

Yes, I know that and I do sympathize. The problem though, is if it is something important the person who answers the phone may need to act on it. It could be something good, such as winning something (it's happened to us, once) or something that is time sensitive like someone needing to come back to the doctors office today for a repeat blood test, or a last minute invitation for someone else which they wouldn't want to miss. Or it could be more serious, like the parents have been in an accident and are in the hospital and they need information or other phone numbers. Or, something as simple as the parents having car trouble and will be much later than expected and for some reason they have forgotten the cell number (that happens to me quite a bit lately).

My point is, that it's best to force yourself to answer it. Keep a pen and paper by the phone to take a message. If you sound "off" or "funny" on the phone, then the caller will simply think they interrupted you doing something. If they ask, you can say you were taking a nap, etc.

When I do answer the phone it usually goes like this:

Me: Hello.
Them: We want money because we want to sell you stuff or you owe a bill.
Me: either "X isn't here" or "we're not interested" and then hang up.

If people that actually know me call they usually know my mother isn't home when I answer because I don't like to answer the phone so they say they'll call back later.

No one ever calls for me except bill collectors.

This was a problem for me when starting work. I was quite uncomfortable answering the phone, but I've gotten better at it.

When I'm home I'll more often than not ignore the phone, because if they want me specifically, they'll know to contact me via my mobile phone.

As for the door, I'll want to ignore it, but it could be a parcel so

Last edited by The_Final_Boss on 23 Feb 2012, 10:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

I don't answer the phone at all. I'm not even listed in the phone book. The purpose of my phone is for me to reach the outside world in case of an emergency. There is no reason for anybody else to call me. And since unsolicited telemarketing is illegal in Germany, nobody ever calls me anyway.

Same here, but it's not an anxiety thing, I just don't want to be disturbed or interrupted.. I find IM windows just as bad. At the same time I can't stand the sound of a ringing phone, so I am also compelled to answer.. I often tell nuisance callers at work that I'm in a meeting and refer to myself in the 3rd person, it seems to work and is often true,

Jason

I hate and loathe phones. We don't have a house phone anymore, but when driving my dad makes me answer his phone. I have no idea what to say. I just say "Hi," and I feel like I may have something wrong, so I say "It's ____" but its already too late and disjointed, and I realise that my name means nothing because ____ doesn't go out or give his name to anyone anyway. I just sound like a social wreck with a too-high voice for a guy.

I hear voices in them!

I can answer a phone, but I realized that I get an adrenaline rush whenever there is a beeping sound like a cellphone. I used to not answer the phone when I was supposed to

Phones are easy.

Answer them, there isn't anyone that can hurt you on the other end.
If they get abusive, just hang up on them.
Its that easy.

I get phobic when answering phones and I don't have called ID.
I sometimes have panic attacks - if I was doing something else and someone calls right in the middle of what I was doing and starts asking me a lot of questions.

After all - I didn't call them, they called me.
I get frustrated because my train of thought is so involved in what I was doing and now you are asking me to try to do two different things at the same time.

Luckily my phone usually only rings one time a week.
I have a brother who calls to see if I am still alive - or that is the big joke I tell everyone.
Most times - people doesn't call me anyways unless they want something or because they need something and I have it or no one else will help them and they are stuck between a rock and a hard place or because I know things that most other normal people doesn't know and they are looking for the right answer.

I had a stupid one hour conversation one night with my brother because he was watching some television show where they played a song and you had to finish the line.
I probably know all the words to 750,000 songs.
I could tell them the answer faster then they could type it into a computer and google it.