Uncertainty
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 1 Jan 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 74
Location: United States, Somewhere in NY
22 Feb 2012, 10:39 am
22 Feb 2012, 10:45 am
Uncertainty
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 1 Jan 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 74
Location: United States, Somewhere in NY
22 Feb 2012, 10:57 am
OliveOilMom
Veteran
Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere
22 Feb 2012, 10:57 am
Hi,
I'm Frances, a 47 yo housewife by choice and mother of four NT kids and grandmother of one. Been married to an NT for 25 years next month. I was dx'd with AS a few years back, after a friend of my kids who had it thought I had it and thought I knew I had it, so he mentioned it to me. I did research, made an appointment and went from there. He was right.
I've held jobs before, and never had a problem keeping them. I'm a housewife because that's what I wanted to do. I had a lot of problems growing up, especially in school. Bullying, anxiety, not understanding much of anything, etc. Luckily, in my early teens I became friends with a small group of other not very popular girls who helped me learn how to actually be social and help me get over my fears. I always thought it was just me, that I was wierd or afraid for no reason, etc. I had no clue about AS. So, I pushed myself and made myself do things I was uncomfortable with. As time went on, I saw that nothing bad happened and it wasn't the end of the world if I messed up. I do fine socially now, and you couldn't tell that I'm not NT unless you were around me a lot, or at home where I'm more comfortable and let down my guard.
I do still have meltdowns, but being dx'd and learning about AS, I have learned what causes them and how to avoid those things or at least minimize them. I've learned how I process things and how to think around it sometimes. Nothing has changed since the dx, except that I'm better able to handle my own reactions, feelings, emotions, etc now.
Welcome to WP!
_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.
The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com
Uncertainty
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 1 Jan 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 74
Location: United States, Somewhere in NY
22 Feb 2012, 11:13 am
OliveOilMom
Veteran
Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere
22 Feb 2012, 11:32 am
Likewise.
I am very pleased that this topic is going so well.
I am glad as well that you have shared this information with us as well. It provides me personally with a sort of different insight now....
It helps me sum up the way to deal with this behavior diagnosis known as this thing that we all call AS.
Dealing with the symptoms is really all we can do.
This will very much help in what i want to accomplish here on wp.
now then... to explain a little bit more about myself.... I was diagnosed at 13.... {and it is indeed as you say the pushing of boundaries... that helps along with the many hurdles that are incorporated with the said lifestyles that come to WP}
I'm very glad I didn't know about it when I was younger. I would have taken a defeatist attitude and thought that I could never overcome things because it was a disorder, not just my own personal wierdness. It's much easier to force yourself to do something when you think that you have no good reason to have the problems you do.
to continue on further with my introduction however... Im 21 currently working at a get on my feet job planning college in the fall.... And aiming for eventually one day i hope to become an IRS tax agent.
Oh dear God. I thought IRS agents were members of the undead.
numbers are my passion i have so much to learn however....
I suck at any type of math, and try to avoid it if at all possible. Oddly enough, my husband loves it. He took calculus as an elective in college.
I must say though my biggest ordeal with AS personally.... is... probably the social aspects of it still although i have come a very far way myself in the years....
The social aspects were difficult at first, but I had friends with me most of the time to explain things, and point out what I did wrong after the fact, or whisper it to me at the time. I learned by doing. I also finally realized that my worst embarrassment is only someone else's passing amusement, and so it really doesn't matter if I mess up. They will forget it five minutes after it happens.
I wish to ask you Frances being that you are married... what are the vices to be avoided when pursuing another?
What do you mean by vices? If you mean it in the usual vernacular, I've done them all lol! I dated quite a bit, and I was married once before to a complete psycho, and that lasted only a year. I just flirted with guys I was attracted to, that's all there is to it. If they asked me out, great. If not, I'd hint around or ask them out. The worst that can happen is they say no.
Do you think you would be able to i dunno provide me with a checklist of a sort? Friendship wise im great... moving anywhere past that area with the opposite sex is sort of scary and comes entailed with anxieties and the whole sort of problems.... xD I guess just a summary of what not to do is what im asking.
I don't really know of a checklist. I'd pretty much say don't be obsessive, jealous or clingly. Don't be obviously over eager to please where it comes across creepy. Don't read too much into things at the beginning, look at it as dating not as it as finding Miss Right. Don't use cheesy lines! One guy who I liked said "Where have you been all my life?" and that blew it. I could never take him serious again. Don't call back the same night after a date. Wait a day or two.
Everybody is different in what they like and don't like. So, theres really no one true way. I would be happy on a date just sitting on the porch drinking beer and talking about cars, or guns, or tv, or whatever, while another girl would be horrified by it. It's just going to depend. I'm the type who would like a guy to be straightforward, but some girls like hints and things phrased in different ways. It's all different with every girl.
P.S. thank you for such an urgent response everyone =)
You're welcome. I've not got much else to do right now, so I'm browsing the forum and posting. If it's not going to rain, I may go out later.
_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.
The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com
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