When NTs fully mature!

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Do you agree that 18-19 is when NTs make that full jump from childhood too adulthood leaving us aspies one step behind them?

No, I don't.

No I think humans don't go abruptly from child to adult. I think they become gradually less childish over their whole lives. I think there is a partial jump at adolescence, when the sex hormones kick in, but it's only one step. I used to think 40-year -olds were boring pillars of something stodgy called responsibility, but now a lot of them seem really immature and naive, to me at least. Most of the people below the age of 30 in my workplace seem to spend most of their time yacking and giggling like a crowd of bratty kids on the back seat of a bus, yet they're all well-qualified in science.

If you just mean the time when people first get to understand body language and subliminal cues etc., I don't know but I expect that would be fairly gradual too. I would think a lot of it is picked up well before 18.

I always think I am more mature than my brother's friends (who are all NTs and are a bit older than me). They think people are weird if they don't drink alcohol, and all they think about is who kissed who and make a big fuss over it, and the girls still ridicule other girls who don't wear the clothes of their taste and seem too ''immature'' to realise that not everybody likes the same thing. Also their social group is always centered around the person who loves drinking the most. I feel that the majority of women in their 40s don't think so much like this. I know this because I have more friends that are over 30 than I do in my peers, and I seem to be on their wavelength when it comes to realising that drinking alcohol is not the most important thing in the world, and smoking is not ''cool'' but is just ''something some people do'' (some even admit that some use smoking as a stress relief), and they don't post pointless crap on Facebook, instead they post things you would want to know. Also a lot of lads around 17-24 seem to show off in their cars, where as older men don't so much (that's what I like about older men, a 50-year-old bus-driver with a beer belly turns me on much better than a 20-year-old boy driving a sports car with music rorting out).

lol no. Some people never grow up.

Even people who are NT according to the Asperger community have their own problems and deficiencies, and I think sometimes these things prevent them from becoming mature adults.

I do think that people with Asperger's (Aspergians? I think I like that better than "aspie") tend to mature just a bit behind NT's, though.

I agree with ToughDiamond. That was a very thought-out and well-said answer.

There are several milestones, e.g. leaving education, leaving home, entering a relationship, having children, death of a parent / close relative. That seem to have maturing effects.

Someone who leaves home and is fully independent at 16, will seem more adult than someone who relies on parental care and is still in education at 21.

There are no real further brain / skills development in adult past the teenage years, IMO it's adulthood when aspies have a chance to close the gap. The target has stopped moving.

Jason.

Perhaps it depends on context. Like I have a NT cousin who is the same age as me, but still thinks she's 14. Also she doesn't seem to hold down a steady job, has arguments with her friends over immature matters, and doesn't even know how to handle money. I, on the other hand, want a job (and will not intentionally walk out), I do voluntary work because I can't find a job at the moment, I do mature things with my friends and don't have silly fall outs with them, and I've even learnt to handle my money. Also I can cook my own meals at home, but my cousin probably doesn't even know how to switch on the cooker.

But I am more immature than my cousin in other ways; I handle my emotions like a small child, I sometimes talk to my teddies when I'm feeling worried about something, and I do other things that are more considered child-like.

Actually, its more like 25 that the real cutoff is. That's why people in their early 20s so often deal with so much emotional turmoil - their brain is going through some major growth still, specifically in how it deals with emotions. People often forget about that stage, so people assume that's already been dealt with when they were a teenager (because the other half of it did occur while they were a teenager).

People don't have a "fully mature" age. People continue growing, developing, and learning, their entire lives. What ages people are capable of taking care of ourselves and others are depends on the individuals.

the brain is not fully mature until age 25.

The frontal lobes aren't done being made until around 21yo I believe (the area of the brain they currently believe is most to do with social rules, etc)

The OP seems to believe there is some type of unified manner of development for all those on the Autist spectrum and for those not on it. How peculiar.

No some people still act like children.

I kind of noticed that in general anyway. I always thought of myself as a really mature child until around that age you described and then it's like they mature and you stay where you are so it kind of changes places.

Some people never grow up. Others handle responsibilities a lot earlier than others, either by choice or necessity. I've met 50+ year old people who still act like teenagers, and 7 year olds wise way beyond their years.

There ae different types of maturity too - physical, intellectual, emotional etc.

The exact same thing happened to me at about 19-20 years of age. I was shocked by the sudden change. All of my life, I had always been considered the more mature kid, but then the tables turned.

I remember when I first noticed it. I entered college when I was 19. The said college was in my hometown, the capital of my country. So going to college was not a huge lifestyle change to me, whereas things were very different for most of my classmates, who came from other cities around the country. Perhaps it was the fact they moved away from home, having to take care of themselves that made them more mature. I still felt like a teenager, compared to them... And then, a few months later, during the Christmas break, while taking a walk with my NT best friend, I noticed how she had became a little adult, having more adult-like interests than before (and she was still living with her parents, just as I did).

I think this is not about emotional maturity, however. I certainly am more emotionally mature than some NTs I know, who appear socially more mature and adult-like than I am.

I believe we're talking here about some sort of social maturity. There are social codes and social rules regarding behavior during high-school years and during college. Teenagers are expected to act a certain way and college students (young adults) are supposed to act differently. NTs are more susceptible to these implicit social rules than we are and their natural tendency is to conform to them. That's why so many of them start acting socially like adults around 19 years of age (when high-school ends). We are not even aware of these rules and we wouldn't care about them anyway... We just mature at our own pace, whereas NTs force upon themselves some social aspects of mature behavior, regardless of their actual emotional or intellectual maturity.

That's why, in ancient civilizations, there have always been "coming of age" rituals. NTs have always considered that their offspring were children up until a certain age, after which they took part in certain rites of passage (some difficult, some painful, some sexual in nature, some other just symbolic, according to the specific culture). After completing the rites of passage, the young persons were officially accepted as adults in their community. Think about ritual homoeroticism in Ancient Greece, for example. Nowadays, there are no official rites of passage, but there are many substitutes for them (getting drunk for the first time, losing one's virginity etc.). Finishing high-school and/or going to college (which happens around 18-19 years of age) is a symbolic rite of passage, at least in my country. That explains why people are suddenly expected to act differently after a certain age...

As an example, it's fairly normal for teenagers to be "fans" of a certain band/musician. It's even expected of them to do so. When I was 14 and wasn't interested in pop music, I was breeching the social code and I was seen as weird because of it. Since I had a special interest in classical music, I was labelled as a nerd and people thought that I was more mature than people my age. At 15, when I accidentally developed a special interest with the band Queen (thus appearing as a most hardcore fan, more obsessed with them than any NT could ever be), this was perceived as a normal teenage preoccupation. Thus, I became a normal teenager in the eyes of those around me. However, being an ardent fan of a rock band is not an expected behavior for a young adult or for a college student (although many NTs still retain their appreciation for certain musicians - they just don't show it the way they did it before). Now that I'm 25, the same special interest appears immature to the people around me. In reality, my special interests are unrelated to emotional or intellectual maturity. They're just my way of falling in love.

Define "mature" and "grown up".