Voilent meltdowns? I just needt o know I'm ont alone.

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I've been through a lot. Lately I've been having some voilent mental breakdowns.

I have been sick for a long time with no help. I can't sleep for a day at a time and my routine is nonexistent. I need help but there is no one to turnto here anymore....

It f*****g sucks. Meltdowns everyday breaking s**t and then I feel bad about it.

I had a very violent meltdown at school when I was 12. I was pissed off that there were a couple of kids in my class who were picking on me. The teacher called us all in after lunch hour and I was shouting out obscenities and I threw my boots at the kid who happened to be the closest target. That wasn't a very good day for me. I apologized to everybody the next day and all of my classmates forgave me.

FlintsDoorKnob Man I hear what you're saying, it's a nightmare to be in that position. Most organisations even when they have a legal duty to help.... offer superficial help or make it "look" like they are helping but through their own ignorance usually fob away which is usually illegal. I DON'T recommend this but for me, when I can't sleep for days I do drink to help me feel numb and to fall asleep but I try to keep to a strict 4 cans. Exercise might help a little, I used to have a gym in one of my downstairs spare rooms but I've had to turn it into a temporary bedroom for my Mum so I'm not getting as much exercise as I used to.

I am finding some solace in this wrongplanet website, hopefully you will to.

i've had voilent meltdowns all my life. pinched another child in school after being picked on and didnt even remember doing it. i just saw red. tried slamming my suitcase in a man's head because he touched me inapropriately, etc. as a small child i'd scream at my mother and once or twice tried to hit her.
i've learned self defense and punched punching bags, pretending i'm hitting someone i'm angry at. having to stop on command helped me a lot in controlling my temper. try it.
rage attacks and voilent meltdowns are a common problem among us.

i've had voilent meltdowns all my life. pinched another child in school after being picked on and didnt even remember doing it. i just saw red. tried slamming my suitcase in a man's head because he touched me inapropriately, etc. as a small child i'd scream at my mother and once or twice tried to hit her.
i've learned self defense and punched punching bags, pretending i'm hitting someone i'm angry at. having to stop on command helped me a lot in controlling my temper. try it.
rage attacks and voilent meltdowns are a common problem among us.

oooooooooops. sorry. didnt mean to post the same thing twice. but i hit the submit button and it didnt respond, so i thought i'd hit it again... my mistake. my computer is very slow at the moment for some reason.

You need to find things to do to distract you and occupy your time, so you won't focus so much on your problems, as that is adding to your stress, and making you more subject to the meltdowns.

- Listen and/or play music
- Exercise--the endorphins will boost your mood
- Take courses, either in person, or online. Online might be best for you right now. Some places have free online courses.
- Hobbies
- Volunteer with charities
- Join clubs
- Read
- Surf the I-net
- Watch TV
- If you don't have one, get at least a part time job.

Ive had violent meltdowns most were through my childhood involving me scratching my arms till i draw blood, bang my head on the wall, hit myself in the face, and biting my arms. As i grew up i do not do it much anymore but those urges come when they get bad. When i was 23 i had a violent meltdown so bad i attempted suicide by slitting my wrists because my ex kept tormenting me while having a meltdown when i was already mad at myself and causing self harm. My violent meltdowns usually escalate from self hate mode to suicideal mode. It sometimes goes the other way when someone makes me angry and i know it is not my fault i will want to turn that hateful energy against that individual but 99% of the time it goes away fairly quickly compaired to my self destructive mode. I know i look like im roboticly catoigorizing myself but i dont know how else to describe my meltdowns lol.

You're not alone.

I use Yoga. It took years to gain loose control.

I used to have violent meltdowns as a child. Very violent. As in chasing my sister with a (huge) knife violent. In my teens this downgraded into just hitting/punching solid objects like walls - things I knew wouldn't break. I'd expend all the rage, then collapse for a while usually, sort of shut down for a while, then I'd restart and begin to feel the pain in my hands from all the punching, take care of whatever injuries I gave myself (usually flesh on my knuckles cut/scraped/messed up, in addition to whatever bruising), and for the rest of the day I was generally extremely calm, mainly due to feeling like I have zero energy. Now I never have violent meltdowns or violent moments at all, and have not for many years.

I feel lucky to have never hurt anyone other than myself, and also lucky to have never broken my bones as I would frequently punch VERY HARD, even into the narrow tops of hard wooden chairs, which could have and should have easily broken my fingers. Never have broken a bone in my life at all though, so far.

I've had them before.

I had very violent meltdowns when I was younger. Starting around puberty, I also got into the self-hate and self-harm. I had some scarry days when I was in high school, I hate to even think about some of the worst meltdowns. Most of my worst were caused by my parents who were aweful to me for being the "black sheep" athiest child. They would team up on me about not being christian enough, cornering me when I had NO way to speak back or defend myself, which really made me hate myself. Those days I would take the torture, unable to speak at all, until I could get away, then scream and punch my hands to mush on something, or cut. I just really needed to explode, destroy and hurt.
How do you all feel during violent meltdowns? I feel some aspects of rage, but also panic because I feel like I've lost some control. Its like I have some control of my actions, but I cannot stop them or do something else. What I mean is, when a violent meltdown happens, I can't speak and the violence is a given, but if my gf is present and contributing to my meltdown, she is not in danger because I have the presence of mind to hit the wall or myself rather than her (or anyone else for that matter). Are you completely out of control or somewhat in it when you have a meltdown?
I haven't had a violent meltdown in a few years. I may have simply out-grown the violent aspect of my meltdowns, but for what its worth, the subsidance of the violent aspect coinsided with me starting to take low dosage thc. I still have meltdowns, but most are non-verbal/shutdown type meltdowns. They are equally inconvenient, and peope get really confused and bothered when I am standing in front of them and cannot say a word, but people won't call the police for that, so I'll take it.

I just scream but only if I'm provoked but once I'm provoked sometimes I can't stop screaming. That wasn't like me when I was a child. I was silent no matter what was happening to me and couldn't utter a sound. Not anymore. It took a lot but I can scream now. I like my stuff too much to break anything and don't think of doing that anyway. I just cuss a lot and scream when I finally lose it. I think I've turned a corner now and know to limit my time with those who aren't good for me.

Rage and panic is right. That's just how I feel. I feel a lot of disgust too at myself which makes my meltdowns last longer. I'm angry at myself for acting this way and I just get more violent on myself.

I think my most violent meltdowns have been at the hands of my sister. She teased me and bullied me a lot as a child. I used to grab her wrists so I wouldn't slap her. Once I attacked her when I was 13. People wonder why I still have a problem with her. I can't attack her now. I'm 26 and she could press charges. I don't think I would. I can barely argue with her and when I do I sound so harsh I just silenced quickly by my mum. At least I no longer live with either of them any more.

I hit my head a lot or throw things and kick things when I have outbursts now. My body gets so numb I don't feel pain. I can't explain the sensation. It's like something padded hitting you like a pillow between your head hitting the floor. It's painful but for only a short while and it's never moderate pain. It's blunt pain. Or I just completely shut down if I try to hold it in. I shake uncontrollably after and now just lay down on the floor and stare at the ceiling. Last time I did that for 2 hours. I lose motor control and speech. I managed to put on some music before that happened and just let it repeat.

I threw something at my cat once. I didn't even know she was there. Poor thing. I'd never deliberately hurt her.