If this is in the wrong place I'm sorry. I'm not a parent so I didn't think it should go there...anyway move it if you need to, mods.
Sorry this is long.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I'm pretty sure my parents knew that I had AS, or at least that it was suspected. I'd like to know what you guys think, whether you think they might have known.
My parents are not the type that believe in therapy of any kind. They don't much believe in doctors either, unless you're dying. We were pretty poor when I was growing up, and I grew up in an uneducated and impoverished area of the country. We didn't have great doctors or an abundance of them. That's not to say that my parents didn't take care of us; we had everything we needed and plenty we didn't. Just pointing out that psychoanalysis is for "crazy people" where I'm from.
Anyway, when I was in second grade I was evaluated by my school psychologist (not actually sure what degree he held, but it was at least in the proper field and he was a kind enough grownup that even I had instinctive trust for him). At the time I thought it was for PACE (a gifted class of sorts), and that I didn't get in because most of the way through the evaluation, I had an accident. I was doing the tasks set out, thinking that when there was a break I would ask if I could go. I guess he assumed that I would just stop what I was doing and ask, but I thought it was super important and that I should wait for a good time. But looking back, a lot of the tasks involved with evaluating a person for AS seem really similar to the puzzles and things I was doing.
Also, my mom used to work in a doctor's office and she got one of her employers to put me on meds for ADHD. Looking back I wonder if maybe someone suggested AS but my mom took it as an insult and asked one of her (subpar, seriously) doctor friends for an opinion after which he watched me for five minutes and handed her a prescription for Ritalin. I was in either the second or fourth grade then, I think fourth.
Then, when I was about 15, my dad got sick and we had to have family come and stay with us. My older sister (whom I adore) kept using my room as if I wasn't even in it. (Using my mirror to do her hair and makeup, coming in without even knocking much less making sure it was okay, etc) After several days of this, I went off on her. I couldn't help it, I had a meltdown and it wasn't even particularly violent that I remember. I was just really pissed off and really needed some time and space that no one would walk in on, and that need was being blatantly disrespected after which I was almost always told that I was being selfish for wanting it in the first place. My stepmom thought that she was going to be smart and threaten me with counseling (they threatened me with private tutoring all the time because I didn't try in school, maybe if they hadn't used it like a whipping stick I would have benefited from some tutoring) to which I readily agreed and suggested that we should all go to counseling.
I went for exactly one visit in which I explained this situation the best way I could, and at the end the therapist asked to talk to them. I wasn't allowed in of course, all I know is that we didn't go back and they seemed pretty bitter about the whole experience.
I think that someone had to have mentioned it to them at some point. If not when I was a child, then surely the counselor when I was a teenager had to see something. That particular situation, looking back, has AS written all over it.
What I want to know is this:
1. Do you think it's possible they might have known, and what are your opinions on the matter?
2. (I live in the US) Is it possible for me to get a look at records from my school evaluation, or medical records from the office where my mom used to work, or from the counselor I saw as a teen? Is there any way I can find out what they might have been told without asking my parents? What abilities do I have to acquire and see my records from doctors vs. psych evals? How about my university psychiatrist?
I don't think they would remember it properly either because they always kind of hated me or simply due to poor memory, and this isn't something I want to talk to them about anyway.
05 Mar 2012, 5:22 pm
