Do you have someone that makes you feel alive?

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banana247
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06 Mar 2012, 6:26 pm

Ok, so I just think this is kind of interesting, and I was wondering if anyone has similar experiences. I have this one best friend and "big sister" who I absolutely adore....she was the first person to ever drag me out my own little world and break down all the walls that I had built up to keep people out. Even when I pushed her away with everything I had, she didn't give up on me, and she managed to break through my hard shell and show me that there's a real world outside of my own little world that i've always lived and been content in. Ever since then, I've trusted her completely..... I've only known her for about two years, but she is undoubtedly the best friend I've ever had, and the only consistent friend that knows ALL my faults, quirks, and insecurities AND loves me anyway. I am truly blessed to have her.

Well, the main that I think is interesting is that she is the only person with whom I really enjoy physical interaction and touch. We never part without kissing eachother goodbye (on the cheek), and I often kiss her as a greeting as well. However, I usually flinch and get a little flipped out if someone else tries to kiss me, even if it's a family member. I've never been a fan of hugs, arm-linking, or anything else that girls do to show affection and find these things awkward and hardly bearable, but I find a lot of comfort in touching her arm when I'm talking to her or sitting right up against her when watching a movie or something. We also hold hands when walking together, particularly in big or crowded places like theme parks.

The weird thing is that I'm very jumpy and spastic and I'm quite oversensitive to touch; it really bugs me when other people grab at me or try to be physically affectionate, but for some reason I love it coming from her. I think it must be a safety thing.......physically touching her makes me feel alive and connected to something real even when my mind is distant, and it can make overwhelming settings seem less scary and a little more manageable. It's just curious that I only have one person with whom I am okay be physically affectionate with. When I start to feel overwhelmed, I often think of her and wish she was next to me.

Anyone else experience something like this?



TheTigress
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06 Mar 2012, 7:20 pm

I have this exact same thing going on with my best friend. Everything you described fits me to a T as well. Hating affection from anyone else except from her. Somehow she got in and when I am with her I feel like I can do anything.

"Well, the main that I think is interesting is that she is the only person with whom I really enjoy physical interaction and touch. We never part without kissing eachother goodbye (on the cheek), and I often kiss her as a greeting as well. However, I usually flinch and get a little flipped out if someone else tries to kiss me, even if it's a family member. I've never been a fan of hugs, arm-linking, or anything else that girls do to show affection and find these things awkward and hardly bearable, but I find a lot of comfort in touching her arm when I'm talking to her or sitting right up against her when watching a movie or something. We also hold hands when walking together, particularly in big or crowded places like theme parks. "

This x1000!! !!



Sparx
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06 Mar 2012, 7:37 pm

Can't say I do...



BlueBean
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06 Mar 2012, 9:17 pm

Sparx wrote:
Can't say I do...


Me neither, really. :(



mglosenger
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07 Mar 2012, 12:48 am

Yes, but since I can't actually explain it I won't try



Fern
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07 Mar 2012, 1:01 am

banana247 wrote:
Anyone else experience something like this?


I know what you mean! Well, sort of.

Up until two years ago, I thought I just couldn't be with anyone in a relationship, because as much as I appreciated the meaning of a hug, I also secretly hated whenever any of the men I've dated touched me, or my stuff, or especially my food. ...but then something changed. For some reason, when I met my current boyfriend those anxieties just disappeared like magic.

I don't know why the same behavior exactly from a different person bothers me to no end.

Maybe this change is what it's like to truly trust someone.

I'm happy you've found someone wonderful to trust in!



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07 Mar 2012, 7:29 am

I dont have someone who made me feel alive however I do have someone who broke through all my layers of distrust, anger, resistance, fear, isolation etc that cause me to push people away. It took him 4 years to gradually get through, for me to trust him enough and realise it was ok to let him in. He then directed me to professional help and helped me through the process of letting another person in.



Heidi80
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07 Mar 2012, 7:52 am

My asperger friends make me feel alive and break out of my shell, both my physical and my mental one. Especially my lover. We've both really affectionate and love kissing and cuddling. The mental shell is actually much harder to break than the physical one and it took me a really long time to understand that it's ok to show your emotions and cry.



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07 Mar 2012, 8:08 am

No. I have people who make me wish I was dead.



Ddddd
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07 Mar 2012, 8:34 am

Wow yes!

I've had this when I was 13 and for the second time when I was 18. They're still my two best friends, the only ones I really like, miss, the only ones I could be around with for whole days, talk to, have them close to me, hug. It feels like I've known them for all my life and I like them more than I like my own family (I don't really like them, actually).
Other people think I'm obsessed with them and I would cancel whatever I have planned to see them again. I'd do anything for them.
The problem is that I tend to stop living my own life and want to live entirely for them and make them happy.
When I don't hear them for more than one day, I also can have some separation anxiety. I couldn't live without them and I think that losing one of those two friends, would make me want to kill myself.


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CyclopsSummers
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07 Mar 2012, 9:08 am

'That is beautiful, banana and Tigress.

I don't have someone around me who has quite such an effect on me. However, last year and the year before that, I had two different colleagues who kind of succeeded in "prying me open" a little bit from the closed oyster-person I usually am/was. So they did make me feel very happy, and they also inspired me.


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07 Mar 2012, 10:20 am

I used to have this ^^^ exactly like you described it with my closest best friend.

My only two first cousins come close too, but they haven't broken through all bits and they don't know me completely inside and out like my best friend used to.


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whovian_vinnie
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07 Mar 2012, 10:34 am

I sort of had a friend like that before he went batshit insane and started treating me like crap and claimed I thought I was better than him, and he now tries to pry my boyfriend away from being with me.

The other person like that is actually my boyfriend. And I'm quite glad he'd rather be with me than stay friends with a batshit insane drama llama. I am a completely different person when I'm with him, I'm energetic, happy, creative and even *gasp* bordering on social. (Scary, right?) He just makes me feel... Normal. Loved, quirky, cute. And hugs.



lostinthewoods
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07 Mar 2012, 8:54 pm

Someone? Nah, just my dogs.


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Roxas_XIII
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08 Mar 2012, 12:05 am

So... I once described the feeling I get when I'm around my girlfriend as the urge to suddenly perform "random acts of parkour." It's actually not far off from the truth. This past Monday I was walking her to her dorm, she rode the elevator with me down to the first floor to see me off as I headed home. We were alone in the elevator and shared a nice, long, passionate kiss. After I waved goodbye and walked out of the lobby, my mental loudspeakers suddenly started playing the theme song from the Scott Pilgrim movie (the one that starts with "WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!") and before I knew it I was sprinting full tilt past the other dorm building, did a precision step off of the side of an elevated flowerbed, followed by a somersault landing in the grass. Perfect combo, 9.5 if not higher. I know because I sprung out of the roll with only the slightest drop in momentum, and it didn't even feel like I had rolled at all because my back had contacted the ground in just the right way that it didn't jar my shoulders, spine, or hip.

I've been trying to re-create that move for the past three days with no success, which means it was probably my elation at finally turning 21, combined with the sheer bliss of just being around my girlfriend, let alone a kiss, that gave me the right mindset to pull off that move with perfect form and accuracy.


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CockneyRebel
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08 Mar 2012, 12:38 am

My two closest friends make me feel alive. I enjoy spending time together with them. We joke around and have tea. Another person who makes me feel alive is one of my coworkers. Him and I get along very well.


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