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bnky
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17 Mar 2012, 4:53 am

Is it generally acceptable (or perhaps even a legal right? - in England) for an aspie to bring a friend to help them communicate in a business dispute?



TallyMan
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17 Mar 2012, 5:02 am

It is perfectly acceptable to include whatever people you deem necessary in business meetings. Though you might want to consider giving the person a temporary "title" for the occasion such as your business consultant / advisor / associate rather than saying he is there to speak / communicate for you due to having Aspergers.

If the setting is a court of law then I don't think a third party would be acceptable without advance court approval and unless you have severe communication difficulties I think they would be unlikely to allow it.


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bnky
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17 Mar 2012, 6:17 am

not a court.
What a good idea regarding giving them a "title" :D
Then I wouldn't even have to disclose diagnosis



izzeme
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17 Mar 2012, 6:42 am

it is acceptable indeed; many negotiations have more then one person on either side for internal discussions.
it might be concidered good manners to inform the other party beforehand that you are taking your 'advisor' with you, so they can prepare if they feel it's needed.



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17 Mar 2012, 6:48 am

In the U.S., the title for such a person is "advocate". I don't know if it would be the same in England, but there may already be a title with a similar meaning. Where I live, parents sometimes bring advocates to meetings with the school about their child.



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17 Mar 2012, 8:32 am

Use of the word "advocate" in a business setting would be a bad idea. It might be acceptable for children to have advocates but not an adult in a business meeting - not if the person wants to be taken seriously. Business is about business not neurology, the OP should not have to start explaining that he has Aspergers and needs to communicate with the help of another person or the business meeting will likely become a farce. Much better to simply say the other person is a business adviser / associate / colleague etc.


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17 Mar 2012, 9:34 am

They not aloud to discriminate against you, be like having a sign language person there that can translate the signing, if the others don't know what it means.

Yes I know some people do. But you have a legal right. This just a mediations?



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17 Mar 2012, 10:25 am

TechnoDog wrote:
They not aloud to discriminate against you...


You mean "allowed" not "aloud" the words mean entirely different things.

Depends on the nature of the business dispute and whether the OP wants to maintain an ongoing business relationship with them. Businesses can and do discriminate against any other businesses. There is no law requiring any business to provide or accept products or services from any other business (unless there is a contract). If the OP is acting as a business rather than as a private individual then he is not protected by any discrimination laws. I think you may be mixing this issue up with private individuals, e.g. shops refusing to serve certain customers or taxi cabs refusing to transport certain people which (in England) would be illegal. The OP hasn't given enough details to be more specific regarding his business dispute.


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bnky
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17 Mar 2012, 10:37 am

No mediator yet. Still just me (self employed) trying to make the other company understand the nature of their mistake. I could just take it to court and sue... but the owner is a friend :?



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17 Mar 2012, 10:41 am

TallyMan wrote:
TechnoDog wrote:
They not aloud to discriminate against you...


You mean "allowed" not "aloud" the words mean entirely different things.

Depends on the nature of the business dispute and whether the OP wants to maintain an ongoing business relationship with them. Businesses can and do discriminate against any other businesses. There is no law requiring any business to provide or accept products or services from any other business (unless there is a contract). If the OP is acting as a business rather than as a private individual then he is not protected by any discrimination laws. I think you may be mixing this issue up with private individuals, e.g. shops refusing to serve certain customers or taxi cabs refusing to transport certain people which (in England) would be illegal. The OP hasn't given enough details to be more specific regarding his business dispute.


My bad its like when I stuck "stairs" instead of "stares" lol

What I mean is Asperger Syndrome is classed as a disibility. With difficulty with communication, interaction & imagination. They for to discriminate against someone with asperger syndrome is the same as discrimating against someone who signs. If the person is they to help with communication, then that is what it is classed as.



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17 Mar 2012, 10:43 am

bnky wrote:
No mediator yet. Still just me (self employed) trying to make the other company understand the nature of their mistake. I could just take it to court and sue... but the owner is a friend :?


That makes it more tricky. Best if the mistake can be remedied privately between you and your friend, perhaps over a social drink or other casual encounter rather than at an formal meeting. If that fails you will likely have to chose between keeping your friendship or seeking a legal resolution. Just make sure your "friend" doesn't abuse your friendship to screw you over financially.


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TechnoDog
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17 Mar 2012, 10:51 am

bnky wrote:
No mediator yet. Still just me (self employed) trying to make the other company understand the nature of their mistake. I could just take it to court and sue... but the owner is a friend :?


The owner is a friend? What a friend :/.

Mediations is better it normally can get resolved in a day. If you not breached a contract or copyright laws etc. If you have to go that far.

If its something like You provided something and you have a paper with the specs the person asked for & they not happy with the results & you have proof of they order what they asked for.

Just since you got Art in your profile. Common thing for Art if that's what it is.



bnky
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17 Mar 2012, 10:58 am

I have communication problems when stressed: lose train of thought, ramble, inordinately long pauses mid sentence, difficulty in making myself understood, over-formal or weird language structure, and use of obscure words.
... which is why I thought of taking an "associate" to keep me on track... and possibly to "translate"



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17 Mar 2012, 11:05 am

As TechnoDog says, what do you have in writing? This is important. I too am self-employed via a UK registered limited company and before providing any products or services there is ALWAYS an agreement in writing even if only via emails saying exactly what is being provided, by when and at what price. This also gives you the opportunity and time to be very clear in what each party expects despite your communication problems.


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bnky
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17 Mar 2012, 11:53 am

He published, about me and my business, something which he thinks is clever/witty... but which is actually just libellous. I suspect i know what he meant to say, but it came out wrong. It's not just my interpretation. I've gotten the opinions of a wide range of people and they all agree.
He's intelligent, but his grasp of the English language isn't quite as good as he thinks it is... so it's difficult to explain to him why it is a problem.
(I'm not about to quote what he published)



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17 Mar 2012, 12:23 pm

bnky wrote:
He published, about me and my business, something which he thinks is clever/witty... but which is actually just libellous. I suspect i know what he meant to say, but it came out wrong. It's not just my interpretation. I've gotten the opinions of a wide range of people and they all agree.
He's intelligent, but his grasp of the English language isn't quite as good as he thinks it is... so it's difficult to explain to him why it is a problem.
(I'm not about to quote what he published)


You would need legal advice for that & not take things from people. "clever/witty" does not sound like negative image ( false ) damaging to your business. Don't know if your overreacting, since you say ( I'm not about to quote what he published ) as that would sound damaging words? People can put words down however they want, unless it is damaging ( false ).

Edit:- You will just have to see what he says & if he don't want to change it. You will just have to decide if you want to go forward or let it go if its not damaging. Or can use the Mediation.