Explaining my differences to my mother.

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Hi,
I have been recently diagnosed at age 24, and thankfully my parents have been very understanding and accepting of my diagnosis (as well as going "oh, so that was why she did those crazy things that would drive us crazy"). My mother has been trying to do research and understand what is different, but she does not read as much as me, and her reading is very sporadic such that it can take a year to finish a moderate sized book (instead of 1-3 days depending on how much other work I have to do). So while she is trying to read Attwood's book, it could take some time. \

Therefore in the meantime I am trying to explain how I think and feel, and things I do that make me an Aspie, but I am very poor at communication, so there is a gap between what I try to explain and what she understands. This leads to frustrating comments such as "well lots of people are like that" (but I do not understand them or they me).

How can I explain to my mom my differences better?
Any advise would be appreciated.

Maybe you could use a book, but just read it yourself and highlight the parts that are about your issues for her to look at so that she could get thru it faster. I'm reading a book about Non Verbal Learning Disorder and Asperger's by Kathryn Stewart that is pretty good at explaining the issues we face, even though it is about children, it still aplies and makes alot of sense, in ways I would not be able to explain on my own. Or possibly you could use the book to make a list or summary for her.

Also maybe if you relate to an AS character in a film you could also watch it with her and explain what things you relate to and what things are not like you so she could find out that way. Just my two cents.

I had my parents look at the book All Cats Have Asperger's. It's cute and informative at the same time.

As you were first diagnosed at 24 I'm going to assume that you are high functioning(?). In that case I would not recommend having her looking up random documentaries on the subject (which is what many intuitively do that does not enjoy lots of reading). They tend to have pretty extreme examples which will just make her question your diagnosis.

Ah, yeah, my family can be like that with books too. I made my mother sit through several short lists of traits including explanations (with a moderate amount of pathological/technical vocabulary, most other people seem to prefer few to none of that though). Then, when there were short reports or documentaries about autistic people who talked and met some other requirements that I thought would remind her of me, I alerted her of them and she'd watch some of them. She is interest in people and medical topics and pointing out that people (when they showed up on TV, for example) such as Temple Grandin and Daniel Tammet are autistic, I'd always managed to catch her interest in a positive way by getting her curious.

My mother doesnt seem to doubt my self diagnostic and i pointed out what they did unknowingly when i was kid, my clumsy - gave me piano lessons, taught me reading and map reading very young but so much so i read as an escape but they didnt realize i was escaping other kids because i couldnt get other kids to understand and in 50s and 60s it was unkown mostly so given what mother remembers now at 84, she sw some but obviously did not understand mental probs. Its good to have good memory but sad in the strongest memories are typically not good memories like father beating me because my expressions were wrong to him and i begged him to tell me what i was supposed to do. its clear stepfather and mother didnt know what they were seeing. The only good is that i play a mean poker game because i dont show emotion even if feeling strongly. The native american in my blood makes me want to wonder if the native american genotype needs closer scrutiny, stony indian faces may have been asperger rooted. Ther have been times people saw me crying with no other expresson but my tears. My mother for whatever reason didnt tell me bio-father sister had dyslexia and my littlest sis 30 years younger and other siblings have had to deal with dyslexia.I should also try to say shee may be a bt better since the problems with living that have plagued me she is now a bit more understandign because i couldnt explain why i did what i did a lot of times.