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FrogGirl
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08 Dec 2008, 1:55 am

What, exactly, are the "social rules" that most of society, NT's, follow and don't have to really think about it much, they just do it, instinctivly.?



ShadesOfMe
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08 Dec 2008, 2:51 am

I Sure wish I knew. If there are any NT's on here, could you ell us some? I'm prettu sure there are too many to count.



FieryGatoh
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08 Dec 2008, 2:55 am

Don't snarl at people. It took me a while to realise that one.



millie
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08 Dec 2008, 3:07 am

I still cannot quite work it out! i am definitely better in the second half of my life than in the first. I have some friends these days (thanks to 12 step programs actually,) and i can talk on the phone whereas up until the age of 36 it was a nightmare unless it was immediate family.

I only ever really had one friend at a time for the first 36 years of my life. A few years ago that changed. WITH LOTS of CB therapy. But all the people I know, only see me one on one. More than that and i cannot follow people and get totally stressed out and exhausted. they accept this and understand and are really good about it.

If anyone cracks teh NT social code - don't bother informing me. I'd prefer to be pursyuing a special interest on my own. 8O :D



ReGiFroFoLa
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08 Dec 2008, 3:09 am

I wish I knew



Akajohnnyx
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08 Dec 2008, 3:17 am

They seem to like it if you blend in. Unfortunately, my sub-par social skills make me stick out like a sore thumb. We need to think like chameleons.


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millie
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08 Dec 2008, 3:18 am

i just talk at them until they almost run away! i like odd bods better than ordinary people anyways. I am starting to accept my AS and just enjoy aspects of it and learn to live with the parts of it that are hard for me.



pensieve
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08 Dec 2008, 3:37 am

You can read a few pages of this book:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/1931282 ... eader-link

I really want to get it.

It's not so much social rules that confuse me but initiating and carrying on a conversation. And having one that doesn't involve me talking constantly about my special interests.



pinkbowtiepumps
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08 Dec 2008, 3:44 am

I'd look at this website:

Click here

Also, it's a matter of being appropriate with certain people, like the severity of conversation you have with strangers, acquaintances, friends, family, significant others, etc. There are different levels. Some conversations may be more vague than others, depending on how well you know the people you're speaking with (there may be some things that others don't want to know...). Pay attention to what other people around you do. I've also found that TV shows, like sitcoms, are great for studying this. I've found Sex and the City to be great for this purpose (if the show is to your liking, of course).

On top of that, there are things like body language and eye contact that really convey a lot. I'm not so good at explaining these, but the website I posted above is great at this. Pay attention to others, and practice! It's helped me a great deal.

This is just a brief summary of what I can come up with, I hope it helps, and I hope you find what you're looking for!



Ceej
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08 Dec 2008, 4:22 am

As an aspie, its hard to explain. I blend in perfectly now though, and everything I learned I learned by watching quietly. You have to pay close attention to the interactions of other people. Its not natural for us, thus we have to learn.



Crocodile
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08 Dec 2008, 6:10 am

I've no idea. In general, I try not to be too weird.


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pensieve
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08 Dec 2008, 6:23 am

pinkbowtiepumps wrote:
I'd look at this website:

Click here


That site was really helpful, thanks. I read up to Living Away From Home. That doesn't apply to me yet.



AmberEyes
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08 Dec 2008, 8:53 am

"If you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours."

"If I scratch your back, you're pretty much obliged to scratch me otherwise you are a rude and unfriendly person."

"Scratch other people's backs in the way that I would like you to scratch other people's backs."

"You're also a rude and unfriendly person if you don't scratch my back in the manner that I've subtly hinted to you with my facial expressions and posture."

"If you don't make the effort to sync your posture and facial expressions with mine, you're an unfriendly person."


'Nuff said really.

The back scratching metaphor works well here.



NextFact
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08 Dec 2008, 9:04 am

i dont think there are any specific rules thats a tough question, you have to think out each situation.



b9
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08 Dec 2008, 9:30 am

NT's are like birds squawking in a forest i have never been in.
their calls amount to cacophony.
a "white noise" of wants and attitudes and such.

i prefer to live in the middle of large plains where there is not the interruption of other peoples attitudes.

nt's seem to me to be all attuned to some genetic program they have which is unwritten in me.

i prefer to avoid those that are angered at my absence from their sense of reality.



anna-banana
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08 Dec 2008, 9:32 am

b9 wrote:

i prefer to avoid those that are angered at my absence from their sense of reality.


very well put, I try my best to do that as well.


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