How do I tell freinds I can't go to an event?

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JuggaspieZ2k
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20 Mar 2012, 12:11 pm

Its in August. It will be hot. It will be outdoors. There will be around 50,000 people, some acting obnoxious. No police. There has already been one riot where a performer was attacked, and there was a panic once when a stage collapsed. There will be alcohol and drugs most likely. It has been described as a huge party. 50,000 people together with no police means it is a surprise there hasn't been more trouble. Not saying what the event is. I want to go, but I know I will go insane.


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Ganondox
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20 Mar 2012, 12:22 pm

Just say exactly that. Or you could make up an excuse for not going.


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Pandora_Box
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20 Mar 2012, 12:24 pm

"Are you crazy? Cause I'd be crazy to go. It's like a rally of the mentally insane, which I am not yet a member of." lol kidding

But be truthful and honest and say the event makes you feel uncomfortable. And because of that you do not feel comfortable going and won't go. And stick to your word no matter how many times they try to pressure you into it.



sacrip
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20 Mar 2012, 12:30 pm

Obviously, if you don't want to go, you shouldn't, and you should just tell your friends that. But if you don't go, and never would, I'm not sure you get to call yourself a juggalo, either. just saying.


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bnky
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20 Mar 2012, 12:42 pm

What country? If it's UK, there will be security and police... Whether you see them or not. It sounds like it might not be quite as chaotic as you're anticipating. However, if noise and crowds aren't your thing, I'm sure you could spend your time more comfortably elsewhere. But you say you want to go. Could you get around your reservations or is that impossible? You should decide soon and, if your decision is no, Just say you'd rather not for those reasons.
Also, if you decide not to go, it'll be best to tell your friends soon so they get used to it and don't count on you being there.



EmmaUK12
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20 Mar 2012, 12:53 pm

The best way is to just tell them asap, if they don't understand they are not true friends.



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20 Mar 2012, 1:01 pm

"I really don't enjoy crowds. Thanks for the invite, but I'd rather just stay home and watch a movie."

"Awe c'mon! It'll be fun! You don't get out enough, you should go."

"No, really. No offense to you guys, and I appreciate the thought, but really, those types of events are like a living hell for me. I really wouldn't enjoy it, and I wouldn't want to ruin it for you. Maybe you guys could come over here some weekend for a quite little get together. I'd enjoy that a whole lot more. Thanks."


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pete_dystopia
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20 Mar 2012, 3:04 pm

Maybe say you 'can't afford it', as these things tend to be expensive. I have these dilemmas too but mainly with my (only) friend who always wants to go clubbing...



Callista
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20 Mar 2012, 3:16 pm

Tell 'em the truth. But you want to be sure that they know that "I don't like this kind of event" doesn't equal "I don't like you."

Do you live close by? Ask them to come over to your place afterward, and have some cold drinks in the fridge. Do whatever--you know, maybe play video games together or something, or sit around and watch TV. Even NTs will be a little tired after a big event like that, and will want to spend some time in the air conditioning doing very little for a while.


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Chuzhack
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21 Mar 2012, 2:08 am

MrXxx wrote:
"I really don't enjoy crowds. Thanks for the invite, but I'd rather just stay home and watch a movie."

"Awe c'mon! It'll be fun! You don't get out enough, you should go."

"No, really. No offense to you guys, and I appreciate the thought, but really, those types of events are like a living hell for me. I really wouldn't enjoy it, and I wouldn't want to ruin it for you. Maybe you guys could come over here some weekend for a quite little get together. I'd enjoy that a whole lot more. Thanks."


I support this.



nemorosa
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21 Mar 2012, 4:39 am

"No" should be sufficient.

You don't owe anyone in life any explanation at all. people will press for a "reason" because then they will look for a way to undermine your decision for their own ends or because they feel they know whats better for you than you do. That is the way it works; leverage and guilt are their tools.



ToughDiamond
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21 Mar 2012, 5:04 am

Yes, just tell them straight like you told us. Avoid pouring scorn on the event of course, as they'll be looking forward to it. If they take a dislike to you for not wishing to go, then you're probably better off without them. You don't have to like everything your friends like, just enough to give you something to share together now and then.